estelle

Just got back from hospital this afternoon, I was found passed out at 2pm outside a bar, luckily I got away with a couple of bruises but it was a humiliating experience.

My mum came to pick me up from hospital and witnessed me being completely inable to remember the past 48hrs. I really hope that I can get sober this time. Was wondering if other people have had similar experiences that lead them to be able to recover?

Thanks for reading x

Hevyn

Welcome to the family, estelle.

I drank all my life, & in the end I began to do very dangerous things. I was drinking round the clock, and I went to work in that state. I also, drove while in a fog (which I'm so ashamed of). I was circling the drain when I found SR. It saved my life. Not feeling alone anymore was so important - I was already so down on myself. I needed people who really understood and wouldn't be judgmental.

I hope you'll find hope and encouragement here. If you aren't under a doctor's care, you might want to see one to help with withdrawal. We are pulling for you, estelle. You aren't alone.

TorontoGuy28

Hi estelle-

Blackouts were becoming a regular thing for me.

Typically, I would not remember the last few hours of my binge.

Good news - you can get better !

Please take care of yourself, I believe in you.

Get to AA, listen and do what is suggested.

Truly hope this was your bottom Estelle...

You deserve better.

suki44883

Welcome back, Estelle! Hang around this time and do a lot of reading and posting. This is a very supportive place, and you definitely need support. You can do this, Estelle. We'll help in any way we can, so be sure to check in often. It will help.

Stevie1

(((estelle)))
Blackouts are scary, in my latter years I was blacking out on a daily basis, pretty much every time I drank. You can absolutely recover from this!

Anna

Estelle, I blacked out also and it's so scary to think that there are hours in your life where you have idea what you've been doing. Horrible.

We do understand how hard this is and we're here for you.

Jitterbugg

Hi Estelle,
I can relate. I passed out drunk in a public square walking home from a bar one night. I was woken up by a security guard from a nearby building and before I made it home, I fell flat on my face on concrete, opening a huge gash over my eye. I walked in to my apartment and gave my girlfriend at the time the shock of her life. I was covered in blood from my head all down my shirt. She thought I had been beaten with a bat or something. She drove me to the hospital for stiches and I was kept over-night because I became confused due to concussion. Waking up the next day, I never felt so low. I entered 35 day rehab shortly after.

Get some help. Have you thought about rehab?

Live2Run25

Glad you are back. Like everyone else, I was blacking out too. It really sucks. I hope you stay around. I visit daily. It makes a huge difference. You can do this.

2granddaughters

Google and read AA's "The Doctors Opinion" and "How It Works". See if you can identify with what is discussed there.

All the best.

Bob R

instant

It's a terrible thing to be happening. It is great to know that sobriety brings such freedom.

skeletoncrue

Welcome back!

Yep. Been there.

Blacking out, not even remembering driving home, and waking up in my living room floor is what finally got me back into AA.

If I don't know what I'm doing when I drink, then there is a very real chance that I could kill myself or someone else.

I don't want to live, or die, like that.

3 weeks back into my 4th start in AA but things are DEFINITELY different.

Working really hard with my sponsor and making progress I was never able to make before. I pray that THIS TIME is IT, for all of us, and we never step into that living hell again.

freshstart57

Hi, Estelle, welcome to SR. There is a lot of support here for you. Most of us can remember horrible events that happened to us (or maybe we were told afterwards). The thing is though, that you are always able to and have always been able to stop drinking. True. You can do it if you believe you can, it's that simple.

Keep posting here, Estelle.

SobrietyNow

I was hospitalized with toxic levels of alcohol in my body twice but I was fully conscious of what was happening both times, at least until I got there. Both times I had to stay for over a week. That was over 10 years ago. I wish I learned then because I lost a whole lot of time trying to prove the disease wrong. So sorry to hear, I know it's so hard. But you can do it! Keep posting!

artsoul

I'm sorry you had to go through that, but I'm glad you're here...... I didn't have a specific experience that caused me to get sober - it was more like a slow, miserable burnout.

I think it's whatever helps us break through our denial. We're really good at explaining things away, minimizing our problem, and holding on to the idea that it will be different "the next time." Sooner or later that kind of thinking just doesn't work anymore because the facts keep building up.

You can do this...... We're here to support you!

Dee74

Welcome back estelle - I'm sorry you had to go through that too.
I do understand tho - there are still entire years I can't remember.

The important thing to hold on to here is you never need to drink and black out again - but you need a plan, I think

What are you going to do now to stay sober?

D

estelle

Hi,
Thanks for all the messages, I was hospitalised in a nearby city, so I've had treatment referred to where I live. I have a doctors appointment tomorrow so hopefully will be offered some help.

I've tried AA but gave up very quickly (after one meeting), any advice on whether it's useful to try different groups and what is the difference between an open group and a closed one?

Thanks x

estelle

Thanks for the message Jitterbug, never thought about rehab, I'm from the UK and I'm not sure about how it works for the NHS, I'll ask my doctor about it tomorrow,
Thanks
X

Dee74

I'm not in AA but I know an open meeting is open to anyone - a closed one only to alcoholics

I think whatever you do you might need more than one meeting to see it really fits, estelle...maybe even try a couple of different meetings

there are other options tho - SMART is a non 12 step programme
Home - SMART Recovery UK

and here's a link to some services available through the NHS
Find more health services - Alcohol addiction support - NHS Choices

D

MrsKing

Hi Estelle, welcome to SR. I'm sorry to hear that you have had a rough time. Alcohol tends to do that to us lot. All I can say is that there is only one way to avoid those times, and that is through abstinence. It's a scary thought at first, but here at SR everyone is behind you. There is so much support here, and a vast amount of knowledge and experience. You don't have to do this on your own, that's for sure. I wish I found this website at the beginning of my recovery. You really can do this, Estelle... remember that! So long as you believe that you can be sober, you can. Good luck and please stick around. Let us know how you get on at the doctors. All the best.

Stevie1

Hi again estelle.... different AA meetings have different vibes so if it's something you might want to pursue I'd definitely suggest trying a few different ones if that's an option.
Closed meetings are for those who "have a desire to stop drinking." Open meetings are for anyone, alcoholic or not.

Or, as Dee says, there are other options. Most of us need some kind of support to get and stay clean and sober.