Mminoh

I have no idea where to even start. So here we go. Ive been with my AH for almost 5 years when I met him he had a pill addiction and was free basing Oxys. My son was only 3 monthes old when we started dating so when i found out he had a problem i was gone. I come from a drug addict home and both my parents were/are users. To this day my mom cannot admit she has a problen(so u know how effed up i am already from her). I have a very low tolerance for drug absuse, but i i ended up giving him another chance and again he was lying and still using. Until his best friend of 14 years but a bullet in his head over drugs it made him he get clean and he was clean up until last sept he started having kidney stones and one dr after another thought the only fix was to feed him pills. Hello addiction. And 2 kids(my oldest son he has raised since he was an infant) and now one on the way due 11/30/12.. He got clean in dec only for me to find out in the end of feb he was using again. I packed up our boys and left him... I believed all his lies about wanting to get clean, we have our issues and finding out about him using in march broke me, I almost hated him, I never even had a chance to get around to even trying to trust him and today we are doing it all over again... I've had my eye on him and knew he was using and finally called him out a few days ago. He has done nothing but shift the blame from me and my issues to his job and everything in between. He was ok at 1st when i told him we were done and his stuff was packed by the door. It put it all on me said it was a Long time coming, said I never changed since the last bout with using in march... I am 5 months pregnant mother to a 5 and 3 year old and I am so Lost, broken, so hurt I could spit fire, mad, anger... I have no idea what to do. By the end of the day he changed his tone and admitted he had a problem and needed help. And was willing to look into rehabs. But yesterday he was back on the blame game, saying he didn't need rehab he could stop just as fast as he started and would go to NA to satisfy me... It was not what I wanted to hear... As I sit hear balling my eyes out watching him passed out on the couch, I've decided that I need help. For myself and for my kids. I feel like I just enabled him but not sticking to my guns and making him leave because he told me what I wanted to hear. Where do we go from here? Apparently he is not ready to get clean. And I am at my end with being depressed , miserable, and feeling like I am being cheated on with an orange bottle..

sugarbear1

Welcome to SR!

Hugs,

Seren

Hello Mminoh, Welcome to SR!

I'm sorry to hear the story that brings you to SR, but you have found a great place for support.

Make yourself comfortable, read all you can...you are now among people who completely understand.