Innerchild

There are two voices inside of me. There is "me" I want to remain sober, be kind, sweet, loving, compassionate, sensitive, pray, wants to save the world then there is another "me" who likes to pop out at times and can be rather impulsive and rebelious. Maybe a thought, memory or song can trigger this side but this side likes to party, flirt, drink, and has this eff the world attitude. The majority of the time I am the first one but sometimes the other one can pop out from time to time and it scares me. Anyone else ever feel like this?

TimW

Oh, all the time. It's like Dexter with his Dark Passenger.

KnowHope

"He is a real Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde." - Big Book of AA 1st edition

"It seemed that we were at least two people instead of one, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde." - Basic Text of NA 5th edition

As for myself? Absolutely, hands down, yes.

It is unequivocally part of our condition, and something that needs to be identified and understood for it to be smashed and transformed so that we stop making decisions and taking actions while being driven by Mr. Hyde: usually fear, self-delusion, self-seeking and self-pity.

Mr Hyde acts, and Dr Jekyll pays the price. It also speaks to us in our own voice, so we think that it is us. I believe it isn't.

Another word for Mr. Hyde? Ego.

Innerchild

Wow, this is very interesting to me I am writing a book based on my alcoholism its something I should explore.

Innerchild

“In each of us, two natures are at war – the good and the evil. All our lives the fight goes on between them, and one of them must conquer. But in our own hands lies the power to choose – what we want most to be we are.”
― Robert Louis Stevenson

OklaBH

Not sure how into literature you are but its been studied that the book is about him and his own substance abuse problems. Goes to show this "alcohol thing" is as old as dirt.

Innerchild

I read the book in HIgh School so that was over ten years ago but it would be interesting to read it again with a different perspective

BadCompany

Robert Louis Stevenson did. He was an alcoholic. Jekyl and hyde was about his own alcoholism.

Innerchild

Wow, so amazing I mad that reference without knowing that

sugarbear1

Have you read the entire big book yet? It's in there.....

soberbrooke

Yes!! I am a Pisces - two fish swimming in opposite directions.

Stevie1

Really? I didn't know that! I just looked it up though.
PsychiatryOnline | American Journal of Psychiatry | Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde: A Primer on Substance Dependence

Must re-read that.

Innerchild, I still strongly identify with my "Hyde" side because I think she is a very important part of who I am. I like her. If I was only my Jeckyl persona, I think I'd have lived an un-fun, unadventurous, hum-drum life of obscurity, compliance and conformity and ultimately would not have been as kind, effective or influential as I have been (in my more sober, less effed-up years.) I've achieved some pretty momentous and important things, civically-speaking, by being impulsive and rebellious.

So I think for me, embracing and integrating the two personas is very important.

jstar

Absolutely! Every time I drink my Mrs. Rebellious-i don't give a f-devient-party seeker persona comes out and she really messes with my head. Have felt that way since before the booze though with other things...maybe I am a tad jeckyl & Hyde myself.

Great story by the way & the soundtrack to the broadway musical of it is absolutely amazing. I actually want to go break it out & listen to it with new insight!

LoftyIdeals

I understand this concept well, innerchild. And I'm very happy to be at one with myself again in recovery. I had gotten to the point that the jekyll/hyde transition in drinking didn't bother me; rather, I just accepted it. Selfishly so. It was my impact on others that I now see very clearly. So, I just stopped taking the catalyst that caused that change, and am very happy. I've also found that I can get as much satisfaction in taking a stand for my beliefs as I did in rebelliousness. And, its a lot less dangerous.

neferkamichael

Ditto Innerchild, plagues me.

tomsteve

i used to be a jeckyll and hyde. i have worked the steps of AA and practice the principles of the steps daily and dont have either jeckyll or hyde any more. they are gone. what i have now is the real me with character defects/shortcomings. they come out sometimes, but i know how to correct them.

Innerchild

Great posts guys. Very interesting. Ill leave you with a song

Good And Evil - Jekyll & Hyde - YouTube

BadCompany

Chapter ten. Stevenson is brutal in his honesty.

Innerchild

No Ill read it now though

Innerchild

Where is it in the BB? What pg