From the pages of the past!
Hug giver-outer!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: The State of Possibilities
Posts: 533
From the pages of the past!
It's been such a long time since I have posted here and even though so many technical things have changed (for the better) on this website, the thread that ties so many together has unfortunately, NOT!
I just got a PM from another old timer inquiring about my AD and my granddaughter, who is going to be 7 next month! WOW! It felt nice to hear from someone, who is also still dealing with addiction, so I felt it might be good to post here and say hello.
To bring you guys who remember me up to date, my husband and I, even at our ages, now have full custody of our adorable granddaughter, who is such a joy, even though sometimes I'm so exhausted I can hardly think! lol It will be 2 years this coming Dec. that we have had her
AD has not seen her since last Oct. and has not spoken to her on the phone since the beginning of the year because she will not take and cannot pass a drug test. I refuse to have my grandbaby think that her mommy is there for her by talking to her on the phone when she can't reasonably be there for her at all! Just heard from AD a few days ago and she says (I've learned that what she tells me and what is real are two different things) that she is just going into rehab (again) and is now pregnant again. She is going to have the baby and says she will fight to get her daughter back! Yup, I'll stay up nights waiting for that! She of course has a new boyfriend, who is just wonderful and of course, does NOT use! Yup, and I believe that! She is totally gone on prescription drugs and it has taken her to new lows, believe me.
I still carry with me the hope that things can be different but I've grown to understand that my wanting them to be that way and the reality of the situation are quite different, unfortunately. I have mourned the loss of my daughter and the life she could have had and what we, as a family, have lost but I have grown in strength to be able to move on and give the rest of the family, including our granddaughter, the hope of a future with awareness and forgiveness of the past. Someday, she will understand why her mommy was so sick and it will be HER choice to make to either turn to that or away from it. But it will be HER choice.
I pray that others have had better outcomes and believe me, I think of so many of you so much and the difference you have all made in the forward path of my life. I pray that everyone here can move on from the curses of addiction and find some hope and peace.
Love,
Marteen
I just got a PM from another old timer inquiring about my AD and my granddaughter, who is going to be 7 next month! WOW! It felt nice to hear from someone, who is also still dealing with addiction, so I felt it might be good to post here and say hello.
To bring you guys who remember me up to date, my husband and I, even at our ages, now have full custody of our adorable granddaughter, who is such a joy, even though sometimes I'm so exhausted I can hardly think! lol It will be 2 years this coming Dec. that we have had her
AD has not seen her since last Oct. and has not spoken to her on the phone since the beginning of the year because she will not take and cannot pass a drug test. I refuse to have my grandbaby think that her mommy is there for her by talking to her on the phone when she can't reasonably be there for her at all! Just heard from AD a few days ago and she says (I've learned that what she tells me and what is real are two different things) that she is just going into rehab (again) and is now pregnant again. She is going to have the baby and says she will fight to get her daughter back! Yup, I'll stay up nights waiting for that! She of course has a new boyfriend, who is just wonderful and of course, does NOT use! Yup, and I believe that! She is totally gone on prescription drugs and it has taken her to new lows, believe me.
I still carry with me the hope that things can be different but I've grown to understand that my wanting them to be that way and the reality of the situation are quite different, unfortunately. I have mourned the loss of my daughter and the life she could have had and what we, as a family, have lost but I have grown in strength to be able to move on and give the rest of the family, including our granddaughter, the hope of a future with awareness and forgiveness of the past. Someday, she will understand why her mommy was so sick and it will be HER choice to make to either turn to that or away from it. But it will be HER choice.
I pray that others have had better outcomes and believe me, I think of so many of you so much and the difference you have all made in the forward path of my life. I pray that everyone here can move on from the curses of addiction and find some hope and peace.
Love,
Marteen
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Marteeeeeen!!! :ghug3
My goodness, it's good to see an old friend here so welcome back.
I am so sorry that your daughter still struggles and will keep her in my prayers. How blessed your little granddaughter is to have you to keep her safe and love her. She may keep you busy but I have a feeling she is a real blessing to you too.
My son is still missing (some things just don't change *sigh*) but I'm doing well, I love my life today and am into semi-retirement...part time work that I love and full time winters in Florida. I say a prayer each morning and ask God to care for my son, and then I live the rest of the day well, as life should be lived.
We've walked a long way together, Marteen, and I know we are both in a better place today than when we first arrived. You remember Dev and Washbe? They're here again too so you are among old friends as well as strangers.
Sending big big hugs and lots of love. It's good to see you my friend.
My goodness, it's good to see an old friend here so welcome back.
I am so sorry that your daughter still struggles and will keep her in my prayers. How blessed your little granddaughter is to have you to keep her safe and love her. She may keep you busy but I have a feeling she is a real blessing to you too.
My son is still missing (some things just don't change *sigh*) but I'm doing well, I love my life today and am into semi-retirement...part time work that I love and full time winters in Florida. I say a prayer each morning and ask God to care for my son, and then I live the rest of the day well, as life should be lived.
We've walked a long way together, Marteen, and I know we are both in a better place today than when we first arrived. You remember Dev and Washbe? They're here again too so you are among old friends as well as strangers.
Sending big big hugs and lots of love. It's good to see you my friend.
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
Hi Marteen!! It's wonderful to hear from you! I am really sorry your daughter went back out, but so glad you have your granddaughter safe with you! As Ann said, she is truly blessed to have you and Mr M in her life.
How is your other daughter? Are you still working? I sometimes think about all the detective skills you acquired through exposure to addiction and how handy they were when you went back to work
.
It will be 6 years tomorrow that we lost Kristen. The beautiful young woman she was before addiction lives every day in my heart. My other daughter married last year to an awesome guy and they bought a terrific old home that they are making their own. I love that one of the things that drew them to this house was that it reminded both of them of their grandparents and it felt comfortable and filled with love. So far only grandkitties, but I hope that changes some day.
I hope you won't be a stranger - I miss you!
It's wonderful to hear from you! I am really sorry your daughter went back out, but so glad you have your granddaughter safe with you! As Ann said, she is truly blessed to have you and Mr M in her life. How is your other daughter? Are you still working? I sometimes think about all the detective skills you acquired through exposure to addiction and how handy they were when you went back to work
.It will be 6 years tomorrow that we lost Kristen. The beautiful young woman she was before addiction lives every day in my heart. My other daughter married last year to an awesome guy and they bought a terrific old home that they are making their own. I love that one of the things that drew them to this house was that it reminded both of them of their grandparents and it felt comfortable and filled with love. So far only grandkitties, but I hope that changes some day.
I hope you won't be a stranger - I miss you!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: not sure
Posts: 452
Heeeeeyyy, Marteen! Good to see you again. I smiled when I saw your name and remember it well!! Doggone it! I wish your daughter didn't still have the same issues. Unfortunately, my son does, too.
I'm glad you have your granddaughter to hug and love on. She has to be a great blessing for you. Everyone says grandchildren are the greatest. I don't have any, but that's quite okay. I'm tired of worrying about folks!
Stick around here or at least keep in touch. It's good to see old friends.
I'm glad you have your granddaughter to hug and love on. She has to be a great blessing for you. Everyone says grandchildren are the greatest. I don't have any, but that's quite okay. I'm tired of worrying about folks!
Stick around here or at least keep in touch. It's good to see old friends.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: In my little piece of heaven
Posts: 2,870
((( Marteen !!!)))
It's so good to see you. I'm sorry that your daughter still struggles, and I'm so incredibly glad that your granddaughter has you and Mr. Marteen to be the stable parents in her life.
I'm a grandma too, now. My Lucy was 2 in June. My older son is doing well, and my younger son is mostly doing well, with the occasional field trip to do some more research. My prayer, like that of so many parents here, is that he will have the right people in his life at the right time to get him on the right path 100% of the time. And like the other parents, I say a prayer for him and his brother both and put them in their HP's loving arms for another day.
I can't believe your granddaughter is 7 already. We'd love to see some pics if you're so inclined!
Again, glad to see you again !
It's so good to see you. I'm sorry that your daughter still struggles, and I'm so incredibly glad that your granddaughter has you and Mr. Marteen to be the stable parents in her life.
I'm a grandma too, now. My Lucy was 2 in June. My older son is doing well, and my younger son is mostly doing well, with the occasional field trip to do some more research. My prayer, like that of so many parents here, is that he will have the right people in his life at the right time to get him on the right path 100% of the time. And like the other parents, I say a prayer for him and his brother both and put them in their HP's loving arms for another day.
I can't believe your granddaughter is 7 already. We'd love to see some pics if you're so inclined!
Again, glad to see you again !
Still Standing
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Here @ SR.
Posts: 3,296
Hi Marteen. Like Washbe, I also smiled when I saw your name back here again. It's good to hear your update, although so sad about your daughter. I agree with the others, that your granddaughter is so very blessed to have you & your hubby in her life. I have been trying to protect my grandsons from harm, as much as possible, so I can really relate to you being so tired. Grandbabies are really joyous lights in our lives. I love mine so much & I really hate it that they are having to be affected by addiction. My grown son is very much still in the depths of addiction. He's had his better times, but right now is definitely not one of those times.
You sound so strong in your personal recovery. I hope to be that strong one day. I've come a long way since the beginning of my nightmares, but I still have so far to go to get to where you are. I am working on it though.
I hope that you'll come back from time to time, to keep us updated on how things are going for you. It's so good to see you here. ((((((((HUGS))))))))
You sound so strong in your personal recovery. I hope to be that strong one day. I've come a long way since the beginning of my nightmares, but I still have so far to go to get to where you are. I am working on it though.
I hope that you'll come back from time to time, to keep us updated on how things are going for you. It's so good to see you here. ((((((((HUGS))))))))
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
It strikes me here, that so many of us moms didn't exactly get the outcomes that we had hoped for...instant sobriety and happy ever after endings.
But the strangely wrapped gift that each one of us got was something very special in our own lives...a peace and serenity and acceptance of life on life's terms, and the ability to survive and thrive a little better for the journey.
I know I would not have that today if all of you hadn't walked with my on my journey. We have shared laughter and tears, good days and bad, deep pain and great joy...and even though we maybe wouldn't wish this journey on our worst enemy, I know that I wouldn't trade one day of it for another life.
Marteen, put on your sunhat and let's all go for ice cream.
But the strangely wrapped gift that each one of us got was something very special in our own lives...a peace and serenity and acceptance of life on life's terms, and the ability to survive and thrive a little better for the journey.
I know I would not have that today if all of you hadn't walked with my on my journey. We have shared laughter and tears, good days and bad, deep pain and great joy...and even though we maybe wouldn't wish this journey on our worst enemy, I know that I wouldn't trade one day of it for another life.
Marteen, put on your sunhat and let's all go for ice cream.
Last edited by Ann; 07-14-2012 at 05:30 AM.
Hug giver-outer!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: The State of Possibilities
Posts: 533
You guys rock!
It's so wonderful to hear from you guys. Ann, I am so glad that you said that about all of us being on this journey and how much we have shared with each other. It has made things bearable and I have to tell you, especially any of you new to this site, coming back here feels like coming "home" as strange as that may sound.
It's a good feeling to know, even though things sometimes feel totally unbearable, that I never feel alone anymore. No matter how much time goes by or how many episode of chaos I face, I always, always feel there is this wonderful community of support filled with caring, compassion, empathy and love. I've come a very long way in my recovery of being a cody and y'all have made that much more possible.
Thank you all for that.
BTW, I've had some email or PM me about my youngest daughter, she will receive her Ph.D this fall and has been teaching Ph.D classes. She is on the job market and I pray that she finds what she is looking for. She flew granddaughter down from here to Orlando for spring vacation and then she took her to DisneyWorld to give her a new set of memories. They both had a ball. It was such a surprise to granddaughter and they had wonderful bonding times! They both have wonderful memories to recall. SD has worked so hard, she deserved the "magic" too!
Love,
Marteen
It's a good feeling to know, even though things sometimes feel totally unbearable, that I never feel alone anymore. No matter how much time goes by or how many episode of chaos I face, I always, always feel there is this wonderful community of support filled with caring, compassion, empathy and love. I've come a very long way in my recovery of being a cody and y'all have made that much more possible.
Thank you all for that.
BTW, I've had some email or PM me about my youngest daughter, she will receive her Ph.D this fall and has been teaching Ph.D classes. She is on the job market and I pray that she finds what she is looking for. She flew granddaughter down from here to Orlando for spring vacation and then she took her to DisneyWorld to give her a new set of memories. They both had a ball. It was such a surprise to granddaughter and they had wonderful bonding times! They both have wonderful memories to recall. SD has worked so hard, she deserved the "magic" too!
Love,
Marteen
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Alabama
Posts: 1,741
Marteen, I am sorry your daughter hasn't hit her bottom yet and glad you have your precious grandchild. I am also happy for you and your other DD and the path she has chosen. I remember when I joined here the first time you were one of the people who touched me dearly. I wish you the best ...
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