Let's be honest.....
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,750
Let's be honest.....
How many mothers or parents who had the financial means would send their young adult daughter or son with a drug problem to the Salvation Army for help...the first time around??
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,698
Hello LMN, our son had the option of court ordered rehab the first time, which gave him several options. The one he ended up in was a very structured and strict program (first one he went to was looser, but he got in a fight after 11 days). The program he entered had a huge turnover due to how strict they were. He survived and actually graduated (which only 10-20% of the residents do!) after 4 months. He was supported in getting into an SLE. Unfortunately, he relapsed after my Mom passed away (I think you know the story from my previous posts.)
I would not have gone Salvation Army on first attempt, but I think it really depends on where the A is when the Enabler lets go. Now I hope my son will look into the Salvation Army. I have offered a medical detox for him but after that, he must find the rehab on his own. In San Diego, there are services to help addicts find placement and some dont require any payment up front. In my experience, if they have skin in the game, they have a much better chance.
I would not have gone Salvation Army on first attempt, but I think it really depends on where the A is when the Enabler lets go. Now I hope my son will look into the Salvation Army. I have offered a medical detox for him but after that, he must find the rehab on his own. In San Diego, there are services to help addicts find placement and some dont require any payment up front. In my experience, if they have skin in the game, they have a much better chance.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 864
Me.
I am not rich but I could have gotten the money to put my son in treatment well maybe if I wasn’t me…that was the problem. I knew the drill and knew he was capable of find help. I gave my son the benefit of the doubt that he could get his **** together himself the first time. After that didn’t work, I allowed him fall flat on his face. It was the only loving thing to do.
He did very well at the salvation army and learned so much there things that would help him save himself down the line.
I am not rich but I could have gotten the money to put my son in treatment well maybe if I wasn’t me…that was the problem. I knew the drill and knew he was capable of find help. I gave my son the benefit of the doubt that he could get his **** together himself the first time. After that didn’t work, I allowed him fall flat on his face. It was the only loving thing to do.
He did very well at the salvation army and learned so much there things that would help him save himself down the line.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 56
When I first posted here about "the kid" that my husband and I have let come to stay with us, there was some debate on my post about the Salvation Army, so I looked it up and read some about it.
It is a great thing that they do, and Im sure it offers hope, and a chance for many to have a better future, but in regards to "the kid"; I dont think he would do well there. Its bare bones, and that mixed with the culture shock; I think would make him feel demoralized, and like he was being punished.
Some people seem to subscribe to the concept that the person in recovery has to hit bottom and be begging for any help that they can get; but persoanlly I dont think that everyone has to be taken down to that level.
It is a great thing that they do, and Im sure it offers hope, and a chance for many to have a better future, but in regards to "the kid"; I dont think he would do well there. Its bare bones, and that mixed with the culture shock; I think would make him feel demoralized, and like he was being punished.
Some people seem to subscribe to the concept that the person in recovery has to hit bottom and be begging for any help that they can get; but persoanlly I dont think that everyone has to be taken down to that level.
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: The Burgh
Posts: 1,991
I get your point, but I'm not sure where "we send them" matters as much as who will take them and where they would go.
I didn't pay for one of the several rehabs my son was in. He had to wait for a charity bed, and he knew what was in store at each one from "friends" that had already been through them. I do okay, but I couldn't touch the cost of any of them out of pocket.
I think SA is often a last resort and designed to be so, so it takes a real want to be clean to have someone stay.
I didn't pay for one of the several rehabs my son was in. He had to wait for a charity bed, and he knew what was in store at each one from "friends" that had already been through them. I do okay, but I couldn't touch the cost of any of them out of pocket.
I think SA is often a last resort and designed to be so, so it takes a real want to be clean to have someone stay.
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: In a better place
Posts: 282
Just an added note: When I was a young child, my mother, sister and I were homeless (alcoholic father with what today would probably be termed schizo affective disorder). We lived for a while at a Salvation Army shelter, and it saved our lives. For more than 40 years, my mother has sent donations to the Salvation Army, because as much as it is possible, their help was provided with compassion and respect for the dignity of people in crisis and need. So it's not as though I know nothing of their life saving programs.
I feel as though it is our responsibility, since my son is still covered by his father's medical insurance, to use the resources we have if he admits he needs treatment, which he has. That being said, I have talked to him about going to the Salvation Army if living with his father while attending outpatient is not viable, which is what he is doing now. The situation there is toxic, dysfunctional, and I don't see things changing if his father refuses to attend meetings or learn about addiction. The combination of screaming fights combined with no consequences is too awful for me to spend much time thinking about because I can't control either father or son's behavior. There are no house rules, father scoffs at "recovery" for anyone but the addict, doesn't want to "sit around listening to other people's problems," which is how he talks about Naranon meetings, and considers screaming at son while enabling him left and right an effective form of parenting.
So I've let son know the Salvation Army exists and is an alternative if and when he realizes that leaving his father's house may be the only way. So it may come to that even though there is decent insurance coverage available.
I think the Salvation Army may be one of the best places to get serious about getting well.
I feel as though it is our responsibility, since my son is still covered by his father's medical insurance, to use the resources we have if he admits he needs treatment, which he has. That being said, I have talked to him about going to the Salvation Army if living with his father while attending outpatient is not viable, which is what he is doing now. The situation there is toxic, dysfunctional, and I don't see things changing if his father refuses to attend meetings or learn about addiction. The combination of screaming fights combined with no consequences is too awful for me to spend much time thinking about because I can't control either father or son's behavior. There are no house rules, father scoffs at "recovery" for anyone but the addict, doesn't want to "sit around listening to other people's problems," which is how he talks about Naranon meetings, and considers screaming at son while enabling him left and right an effective form of parenting.
So I've let son know the Salvation Army exists and is an alternative if and when he realizes that leaving his father's house may be the only way. So it may come to that even though there is decent insurance coverage available.
I think the Salvation Army may be one of the best places to get serious about getting well.
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Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Texas Gulf Coast
Posts: 7
I am trying to provide something better but I should admit my daughter is too young for SA and has serious mental health problems. I did push her father into their rehab and I appreciate them to this day even though he ended up being a jerk sober and their system had some serious failings when it came time for an exit strategy.
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Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In Today
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i don't care where any of you send them or don't send them it won't work.
not until they are fully and completely CONVINCED that they WANT recovery.
how do they become convinced???? By reaching their own bottom!
As it so happens, the Salvation Army has one of the finest Rehabs in the country. they don't charge thousands and thousands of dollars with very low recovery rates. They have excellent recovery rates. As a matter of fact, a former Governor, now passed, of a fairly well known state, found recovery at the Salvation Army.
Where you send them is OUT THE DOOR. Then they find their recovery on their own.
okay off my soap box now.
Love and hugs,
not until they are fully and completely CONVINCED that they WANT recovery.
how do they become convinced???? By reaching their own bottom!
As it so happens, the Salvation Army has one of the finest Rehabs in the country. they don't charge thousands and thousands of dollars with very low recovery rates. They have excellent recovery rates. As a matter of fact, a former Governor, now passed, of a fairly well known state, found recovery at the Salvation Army.
Where you send them is OUT THE DOOR. Then they find their recovery on their own.
okay off my soap box now.
Love and hugs,
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Anywhere USA
Posts: 30
I didn't know the Salvation Army had a program. That's awesome! I would research each program that I was considering. The longer the better. I have heard of great results with teen challenge. You don't have to be a teen to go there. Bottom line- no matter how wonderful the program or how long it is, if your loved one is not ready to change, he won't - but it is always worth a try. I have known some who have been through several treatments before they finally decide to get serious. I am praying he will get it the first time!
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Anywhere USA
Posts: 30
PoppyPetal- I would encourage you to find a program for co-occurring disorders. 50-75% of people with a substance use problem also have a mental health disorder. The ideal way to treat these disorders is at the same time. COD treatment is the new buzz word and many centers are embracing the change. I wish you well.
Getting there!!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,750
Just to clarify - I am not looking for a rehab program for anyone. I was just curious how many would send there young adult to SA on the first attempt at recovery.
I can certainly understand why some parents can only pray their child would seek out the Salvation Army for treatment. For most, it's the not their child's first attempt at recovery. However, I was pretty surprised to see it recommended to the mother of a young college student. I think when ES&H is shared, it should always come from a very honest place....and not just being said because it sounds good or even "politically correct" on this site.
I can certainly understand why some parents can only pray their child would seek out the Salvation Army for treatment. For most, it's the not their child's first attempt at recovery. However, I was pretty surprised to see it recommended to the mother of a young college student. I think when ES&H is shared, it should always come from a very honest place....and not just being said because it sounds good or even "politically correct" on this site.
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Chicago area
Posts: 4,269
Originally Posted by laurie6781 
i don't care where any of you send them or don't send them it won't work.
not until they are fully and completely CONVINCED that they WANT recovery.
how do they become convinced???? By reaching their own bottom!
As it so happens, the Salvation Army has one of the finest Rehabs in the country. they don't charge thousands and thousands of dollars with very low recovery rates. They have excellent recovery rates. As a matter of fact, a former Governor, now passed, of a fairly well known state, found recovery at the Salvation Army.
Where you send them is OUT THE DOOR. Then they find their recovery on their own.
okay off my soap box now.
Love and hugs,
She thought she could control it and I thought I could control her. We were both seriously mistaken.
In hindsight, I wish I had donated all the money to the SA.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: In a good place
Posts: 4,482
Originally Posted by LoveMeNot
However, I was pretty surprised to see it recommended to the mother of a young college student. I think when ES&H is shared, it should always come from a very honest place....and not just being said because it sounds good or even "politically correct" on this site.
Let go and Let God!
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Ohio
Posts: 352
Originally Posted by laurie6781
i don't care where any of you send them or don't send them it won't work.
not until they are fully and completely CONVINCED that they WANT recovery.
how do they become convinced???? By reaching their own bottom!
Where you send them is OUT THE DOOR. Then they find their recovery on their own.
okay off my soap box now.
Love and hugs,
not until they are fully and completely CONVINCED that they WANT recovery.
how do they become convinced???? By reaching their own bottom!
Where you send them is OUT THE DOOR. Then they find their recovery on their own.
okay off my soap box now.
Love and hugs,
I agree with the above 100%. My poor mom sent my brother to one of the most expensive places, he wasn't ready. She sent me another expensive rehab, it didn't work. They didn't work because we weren't ready.
What did it do? It did show my brother and I there is a place to go to when we were done. It introduced me to AA/NA. So did it have a good effect? In a round about way.
It all comes down to they won't quit until they hit their bottom
Getting there!!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,750
Originally Posted by Chino
I'm willing to bet my river front property that the recommendations came from a very honest place, called Hindsight X-ray Vision.
Personally, I am not sure I am overly impressed with rehabs as a whole (based on what I have heard and read). NA (a free program) has worked for the people I know....and I am sure for many RA's on SR as well.
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