Whoa boy... If only I'd stuck with it!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 32
Whoa boy... If only I'd stuck with it!
Hey there,
My name is Jay, i'm an alcoholic.
I made a few posts here over two years ago, after I had decided to quit drinking. The catalyst for that short reprieve from drinkin' were two interconnected events. A few days before my posts, I had gotten the day off of work. I had purchased a bottle of vodka, and did the usual mental math of how much I could throw back (and still have it somewhat together) before kids were home from school and my wife arrived from work. I made a drink, and settled in to watch a movie. The next thing I remember, it was 8 hours later, my head was pounding, and I got the distinct feeling my wife was pissed at me.
I had obviously blacked out (it wasn't uncommon). My wife, pissed at me as usual informed me that our 13 year old son, and 8 year old daughter arrived home from school to find me unresponsive on the floor in our bedroom. Our son frantically called his mom, who, unsurprised, finished up at work, and came home to pour me into bed.
It seemed this was a turning point for my beloved, and she told me in no uncertain terms that it was my family or the booze. As sick as I was, I assured my wife that I was done drinkin, as many have in the past. I put together three weeks dry. After three weeks, my disease convinced us both that I could continue to drink socially, and I began to drink again. In another three weeks, I was as bad off as I ever was.
Looking back, I really didn't have much of a chance. I knew I was a problem drinker, but I denied that I was an alcoholic, despite the overwhelming evidence to the contrary. My wife refused to quit drinking, as it wasn't she that had the problem. Even the looming threat of losing my family wasn't the bottom I needed.
Here we are, two and a half years later. I am so happy to still have my family, but the toll two and a half years can take is pretty sobering. I had lost myself, my self respect, many friends, received a DUI, and nearly lost my amazing job that I have worked so hard for.
I have a much more robust set of tools this time around. My clean date is 5.29.12. Tuesday, July 16th is my last day of Intensive Outpatient Therapy. I have been attending AA meetings at least twice a week, if I have a rough day, I seek out a local meeting. I have a sponsor and am currently working step four. I am also thrilled that my wife is dry and attending Al-Anon and working on her own issues that come from loving a drunk.
I'm sure my story is not unique in these parts. I have walked a well worn path. I have been successful so far this time around. Just working the program, learning all I can while trying not to over think it. I have said goodbye to Mr. Booze, and am taking everything a day at a time.
I really look forward to making a thread in another two and a half years (and many in between), celebrating my sobriety and all of the goodness that has come along with it.
Thanks for listening!
-Jay
My name is Jay, i'm an alcoholic.
I made a few posts here over two years ago, after I had decided to quit drinking. The catalyst for that short reprieve from drinkin' were two interconnected events. A few days before my posts, I had gotten the day off of work. I had purchased a bottle of vodka, and did the usual mental math of how much I could throw back (and still have it somewhat together) before kids were home from school and my wife arrived from work. I made a drink, and settled in to watch a movie. The next thing I remember, it was 8 hours later, my head was pounding, and I got the distinct feeling my wife was pissed at me.
I had obviously blacked out (it wasn't uncommon). My wife, pissed at me as usual informed me that our 13 year old son, and 8 year old daughter arrived home from school to find me unresponsive on the floor in our bedroom. Our son frantically called his mom, who, unsurprised, finished up at work, and came home to pour me into bed.
It seemed this was a turning point for my beloved, and she told me in no uncertain terms that it was my family or the booze. As sick as I was, I assured my wife that I was done drinkin, as many have in the past. I put together three weeks dry. After three weeks, my disease convinced us both that I could continue to drink socially, and I began to drink again. In another three weeks, I was as bad off as I ever was.
Looking back, I really didn't have much of a chance. I knew I was a problem drinker, but I denied that I was an alcoholic, despite the overwhelming evidence to the contrary. My wife refused to quit drinking, as it wasn't she that had the problem. Even the looming threat of losing my family wasn't the bottom I needed.
Here we are, two and a half years later. I am so happy to still have my family, but the toll two and a half years can take is pretty sobering. I had lost myself, my self respect, many friends, received a DUI, and nearly lost my amazing job that I have worked so hard for.
I have a much more robust set of tools this time around. My clean date is 5.29.12. Tuesday, July 16th is my last day of Intensive Outpatient Therapy. I have been attending AA meetings at least twice a week, if I have a rough day, I seek out a local meeting. I have a sponsor and am currently working step four. I am also thrilled that my wife is dry and attending Al-Anon and working on her own issues that come from loving a drunk.
I'm sure my story is not unique in these parts. I have walked a well worn path. I have been successful so far this time around. Just working the program, learning all I can while trying not to over think it. I have said goodbye to Mr. Booze, and am taking everything a day at a time.
I really look forward to making a thread in another two and a half years (and many in between), celebrating my sobriety and all of the goodness that has come along with it.
Thanks for listening!
-Jay
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
Jay, Thank you so much for a heartfelt and uplifting post. Many newcomers reading your story are sure to be helped by your honesty.
I'm happy that your family is still in tact, and that you & your wife both sought help in dealing with this. Congratulations on your sober time - the best is yet to come. Please keep posting as you continue your journey.
I'm happy that your family is still in tact, and that you & your wife both sought help in dealing with this. Congratulations on your sober time - the best is yet to come. Please keep posting as you continue your journey.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome Jay!
Sounds like you're well on your way - congratulations for your sober time! This is a great place to get inspiration and support - it's a wonderful resource (and so handy!)
Glad you're here!
Sounds like you're well on your way - congratulations for your sober time! This is a great place to get inspiration and support - it's a wonderful resource (and so handy!)
Glad you're here!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: in this vessel
Posts: 304
What an amazing story. Once I bought a bottle of vodka on my lunch break just to take a couple shots to calm my nerves. I woke up on the bathroom floor still at work several hours later. I drove home drunk. Woke up the next day and apparently no one knew the wiser. I continued to drink for a couple more years and missed my opportunities for a DUI and failed marriage; by the hair of my chin many times over to be sure.
I do not wish to steal your thunder but you've made me remember that I have so many lucky stars to count.
Thank you and you deserve sobriety. What a gift
I do not wish to steal your thunder but you've made me remember that I have so many lucky stars to count.
Thank you and you deserve sobriety. What a gift
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 32
Originally Posted by Symmetry 
What an amazing story. Once I bought a bottle of vodka on my lunch break just to take a couple shots to calm my nerves. I woke up on the bathroom floor still at work several hours later. I drove home drunk. Woke up the next day and apparently no one knew the wiser. I continued to drink for a couple more years and missed my opportunities for a DUI and failed marriage; by the hair of my chin many times over to be sure.
I do not wish to steal your thunder but you've made me remember that I have so many lucky stars to count.
Thank you and you deserve sobriety. What a gift
I do not wish to steal your thunder but you've made me remember that I have so many lucky stars to count.
Thank you and you deserve sobriety. What a gift
Thanks to all for the replies so far. Feel free to keep em coming!
Spiritual Learner
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Chicago, Illinois
Posts: 165
Jay glad that you are on your way and you learned from your mistakes! Thank God we are able to change our lives for the better. You have done some soul searching and becoming a better man. I am glad to hear your progress and I will pray for you to stay on the beam!!! God Bless!!!
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
WB Jay!
I enjoyed reading your struggle to get back. I didn't know you and I missed you already. We have enough stories with tragic endings which makes me cherish stories with happy ever afters, which is where your path leads. I look forward to reading more.
I enjoyed reading your struggle to get back. I didn't know you and I missed you already. We have enough stories with tragic endings which makes me cherish stories with happy ever afters, which is where your path leads. I look forward to reading more.
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