Coqui

I was wondering about the emotional roller coaster that I have been on is normal. Very difficult sometimes to explain to BF why one minute I am fine and next I want to scream.

I am also trying to get involved in AA I have gone to meetings have my big book but I am still trying to wrap my head around it. I think having a sponsor is difficult because I tend to be private.


Coqui...

bbthumper

Welcome to being newly sober! Emotions are tough once you are faced with dealing with them rather than drinking them away. We alcoholics tend to be pretty emotionally immature. I recovered through the 12 steps of AA and although my emotions still get the best of me at times, I have not had the desire to drink and have been able to deal with them in a much healthier way.

As far as the sponsor thing...
I too was very private. That was just the way my disease liked it. Alcoholism loves isolation. I can sit in my own head and get sicker and sicker by the minute. I found the more of myself I shared with my sponsor then eventually with other fellow AAs, the better I felt. Secrets and isolation tend to keep us pretty sick in my opinion.

Hope you give the program of the 12 steps of AA a chance. I've seen and experienced some amazing miracles in working the steps. I wish you the best and am shooting a prayer up to my God for ya!

FlyerFan

The roller coaster will die down a little as you begin to work on yourself in sobriety, but ONLY if you work at it. You can't just stop drinking and hope everything will get all better. I too didnt want a sponsor because I was a very private person, but thats normal to feel that way in the beginning.

I did not even know what the steps or anything was until about 2 months in because i had no sponsor. Their job is to help you understand the big book and the steps and help you work through them, so that is why its recommended that you get one.

Find someone you really like, someone who has good things to say and appears to be happy joyous and free, and someone who has a little bit of sober time at least. And you can be totally honest with them and tell them your concerns or worries.

I have faith in you.

nonblondechef

Bbthumper - that was really, really well written.

Coqui

BBthumper,

Thank you for your response. I have a sponsor in mind and I know I have to get passed the my biz is my biz. I am lucky to have my family supporting me but I know I need structure and others people around me that will understand.

Coqui

FlyerFan

Thank you so much. I will be giving a call to the person that I have in mind. I know that I need the 12 steps can't deny that. I guess its just the fact that after all this time I finally realized that my way of dealing with life wasnt my healthiest choice. Letting go and accepting is a new lesson I am learning with plenty more to come. I thank you for the share and info. My brother told me about this site and I am grateful he did.

Coqui

FlyerFan

message me any time if you want to talk, about anything.

DisplacedGRITS

hey Coqui! welcome to SR. the emotions will calm down but we are human so don't expect lollipops and rose petals every day. i posted the thread about rage yesterday and i have 4 months of pretty strong sobriety under my belt. the truth is, we need to be aware of our triggers and how they will effect us. i knew about mine, my husband knew but he really didn't take me as seriously as he should and i still wasn't as prepared as i should have been for the overwhelming emotions i experienced. the other thing is, we're human and we're sober. the joy and the pain of sobriety is that we can feel emotions again. really feel them. the joys are joyful and the pains are painful. nothing is dulled. what i try to do, it just experience them, let them run their course and, when applicable, learn from them. sometimes, we can learn why we felt the way we felt and understand ourselves a bit better. something we couldn't do or wouldn't have cared about when we were drinking.

good luck with AA! it provided the springboard for my sobriety and i'm forever grateful. it's still there for me when i need it and i do enjoy the meetings. good luck with your sponsor!

Dee74

Welcome to SR Coqui

Like others have said it is very normal - I hope things settle for you soon

D