Somebodyswife

After over 30 years with my AH I have finally had enough and this weekend I am leaving. This is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do and I'm terrified on breaking the news to him. Not terrified in he'll freak out and hurt me physically just in breaking the news to him. Of course I think he'll really hit the bottle big time. I just pray that he stays home and doesn't do anything stupid, but for a drunk that's really asking alot isn't it?


For three years I've saved and now I have my very own apartment and I've been moving things little at a time. Funny the other day I thought well I'll take something to the apartment that surely he'll notice and miss but NOPE he never said a word.

The crazy thing is he has slowed down his drinking and even started doing things around the house. I say slowed down because I don't think he's stopped he's just got better at hiding it. Naturally he was going to quit and like many many times in the past he though he could do it himself. Maybe he'll realize one day that he needs help to overcome this. I pray he does but for right now I have to start taking care of me.

lillamy

It's a difficult decision, but I'm glad you're there.

Whether or not you know it, when you detach, he notices a difference in your behavior (and he may not even be aware of it). And he changes his behavior in reaction to that.

I know nothing about your situation, your AH, but if you are at all concerned about your safety when you tell him you are leaving, have a friend present. Only the most soulless criminals will do outrageous things with other people present.

Good luck.

NeedHlp

Thank you for posting this, Somebodyswife. Leaving is so difficult. I left my ABF a week ago today, and it has been hard to say the least. My head knows it was the right thing to do, for me AND for him.
Be Strong. I'm trying myself to be strong. Find yourself a good support team of friends and loved ones. I wouldn't still be out of that situation today if it weren't for mine.
Hugs and Prayers to you.

m1k3

That was the 1st step of my recovery. I was actually allowed to take care of myself.

I understand where you are coming from as well. I left my AW of 36 years a little over a year ago. It has been a scary, awesome, confusing, enlightening journey. It has been well worth it.

Your friend,

Somebodyswife

Thanks for your support and posts. It's sad to think about walking out the door and closing this chapter of my life. Certainly not the way I planned on starting my "golden years". Right now I have so many fears. It's like walking on a tight rope without a safety net. But I know how I feel when I walk into the apartment and that is the best feeling that I have had in a very long time. Again thanks for listening.

RevivingOphelia

You're brave and strong.

I think you have a wonderful future ahead of you!

Good luck with breaking the news.

fedup3

I'm cheering you on, you'll do just fine. Nothing changes if nothing changes.