Bonnie1

Feel terrible today. Lapsed very late last night and can't understand it! Thought I could handle one drink before turning in for the night, but no it got the better of me.
Stupid, stupid me after a few weeks of sobriety.
So it's back to Square One and putting the effort in again.
I drunk it pretty quickly too, and now feel so sick.

It is true, the first drink does the damage. After all this time I should know better!

GiGi13

hugs ya bonnie. Don't be too hard on yourself... not you, nor I, nor any of us are infallible. I understand your disappointment but the good part is.. you recognize your little mistake and instead of going back on that merry-go-round of despair, you are stronger this time to get back on track to recovery. We all stub our toe at times

Try not to look at it as a failure or that you threw away weeks of sobriety... look at it as another learning curve and learn from it.. Im sorry you feel so Ill, but im also glad you do.. its a harsh reminder of why you quit in the first place.. sometimes..we need those reminders..

Im proud of you! stay strong dear.. you will do this!

soberbrooke

I have relapsed a lot. Last time it took me 9 months to get back on my program and this time it took me 2 days.
Don't be a 9 monther, get back in today!

Scolova

I only made it 12 days on my first serious attempt at sobriety, relapsed and went back to drinking daily for (most of) four months. Glad I finally broke outta that and quit, I'm over 9 months now and know those first three months are 'the pits'. Gotta be on board 100%.
Get right back at it, best wishes.

Dee74

This is really the crux of the problem Bonnie, for all of us.

It took a lot of repeated applications for me to finally 'get it' too - I hope this time will be your time

Are you using any other support besides SR now?

D

duane1

Sorry, I know little of your situation, but perhaps keeping alcohol far away from where you live might be enough to keep you from a relapse like this. Night time is often a time where we have too much time on our hands to think. Perhaps removing any possibility of an ability to relapse in a situation like this might help. Good luck with your recovery.

CaiHong

Hi Bonnie,
Strange that late at night you decide to have a nightcap. What lead up to that, do you know?

Today at a meeting we were talking about relapses and that early in sobriety I was really worried about relapsing, I didn't think I could start over again so I really put a lot of time into reading about and listening to information about relapses especially in the early months.
Good that you are back on the wagon.

Love
Cai Hong

desertsong

Don't beat yourself up, Bonnie. A lot of us are slow learners. I had to learn over and over again that it's the first drink that is the problem, not the 15th. If I just stay away from the first one, I'm good to go. Takes time for that to sink into our soggy brains though.

Pick yourself up and climb back on the wagon. Today is a new day.

Bonnie1

I really don't know what lead up to it CaiHong. It was like teasing me to open it.
Just to much temptation to have it around. And I did'nt even buy the rotten stuff!
Anyone bringing alchohol into this house will be told to take it back with them in the future!

Hunter101

Hey Bonnie,
I agree dont beat yourself up! We are only human and meant to make mistakes!!
Im still trying for day one! Just try not to do it again! I think the same way everyday. Just gonna have one before I get home, then next thing u know its like 12. So just try and relax and today is a new day!! Put it behind you, its done!

bumble

Look on the bright side: now you know not to even have it in the house. I was a slow learner on that one too...I drank and replaced my room-mate's supply many times over.

And, hey, everyone who made a week, a month, a year, etc. of sobriety started with Day 1. Hope this is the "one" for you!