MrWhiteKnuckles

HI Everyone,
I joined this site after getting out of rehab awhile back.

This is not about me. I'm going to just lay it out straight, if this is the improper place or if I'm breaking some sort of forum etiquette..I apologize now.

I found my father the other day in his house, where he had spent the last few days trying to finish himself off. He was puking blood and hadn't eaten in 5 days. (i'm not looking for medical advice, read on and understand..if you could plz)

I checked him into a hospital, where we are dealing with the repercussions of his alcohol abuse. We are on Day2, seems the liver is going to 'survive' but to the extent of damage....we find out tomorrow

I say that to say this:

*If....big FREAKIN if....i can get him to really and truly admit to his problem, we will be checking him into a rehab for a hopeful 60day program.

He is no stranger to rehabs, he has been to 3 over the past 30 plus years (he is 62 yrs old). Difference now, I hope...is tonight he said "I know I have a serious problem" and that would be the first time I've heard that *pre rehab admission.

this is my last chance with him/for himself.



I've been sitting here, googling the **** out top rehabs and thought that someone could help me with some names of top places? I'm not going to say money is abundant, but he does have people who love him dearly and are willing to make sacrifices to get him into a good facility.

I know two of the previous three he went to, sucked....it was the same old story of the facilities, getting "heads in beds"


I understand that its about him and his effort that will make him successful....i'm just at my wits end and truly think if he can't tackle this problem, this go around...he will be dead inside of a year




So, if you could post up or PM me, a known successful no ******** facility....i would appreciate it (what an understatement)

It would need to be a Dual Diagnosis Place - He suffers from Alchol addiction as well as severe depression.

Thank you for reading

MyTimeNow

I'm in the UK so not much help I'm afraid. I just wanted to wish your father, you and the rest of your family all the very best. I hope you find a good place for him where he can start on his journey to get well. Take care.

MrWhiteKnuckles

Thank you, back at you....truly.



My google powers are really failing me right now. It seems very hard to find to find an unbiased result in my search.

There is two of us working on this. Me and my brother. The rest of my family is in their own denial.

I'm hoping that a name or two will overlap with two different people, using two different search methods.

It just tearing me apart being so helpless, for someone that I care for so much.

MyTimeNow

That's just so heartbreaking to read. What wonderful sons you are.

I don't know whether you have seen this or not but on the SR homepage there is an online directory of treatment centres SoberRecovery : Directory Drug Addiction, Alcoholism and Mental Health Service Providers

I don't know if it helps with what you are looking for, but thought it would be worth a mention. Wishing you the best of luck.

Dee74

Hi and Welcome MrWK

I'm in Australia so I have no first hand knowledge either...I'm not sure there's any better way than ringing around and checking things out yourself tho

there's a national database of facilities - you enter your state then go from there...each entry has a brief description etc.

This is the one for mental health facilities - dual diagnosis places will be included.

SAMHSA Publications

best of luck to you and your dad

D

CarolD

The Salvation Army has different types of free facilities
in many areas. They have been dealing with alcoholics for years.

No recommendations from me...I've never been to a treatment center
I went directly to AA for my alcoholism.

but my adult son says they are as effective as any.
He sure has tried several...currently back to Sally.

Prayers going out for you your Dad and your brother..

Fandy

If you are near Princeton, try to contact Carrier clinic.
they have excellent psych. services & used to phrase themselves as addiction specialists. its a private facility. but they do accept most health insurances. ask his doctors about it.

GiGi13

I know this may be a very LONG SHOT...but... have you ever watched that show called "intervention"??? In any event always towards the end of the program they say if you know of someone with a problem call us etc..we may be able to help yatta yatta.. why not try to contact them? Since they deal with people all over the country im sure they may know of some top facilities in every state...its worth a shot and its just a phone call.. just google "intervention tv show" or some such..and im sure you will find it...

I wish you the best of luck and hope your father recovers and heals well.. many blessings to you and your family..

DoinThis

Hiya, I read this recently, it might help. All the best, I hope your dad can get the help he needs and good for u for helping him too.

Mag Releases Rehab Top-10 List | The Fix

Top 10 rehabilitation clinics in the world - Healthcare Global

SobrietyNow

No Gigi you're right - here is a link to the page where some of them are listed. You'd have to do a bit of research but it's a start.

Intervention - Treatment - aetv.com

Veritas1

Welcome to The Spiritual Awakenings Group Website - Links

This is a link to an AA home group in NJ. Maybe someone there could give you some direction.

I hope you find a good place for your Father.

There was a member here named LetsGoJets who shared it with me from NJ.

I don't know if he is still here checking in.

I will send him a pm.

soberbrooke

My father dies at age 38 from alcoholism. He was in 9 different rehab programs, and none of them helped him. He needed to do it for himself, not for anyone else.

I know of one - West Oaks - it's in Houston.

MrWhiteKnuckles

I want to respond to each and everyone of you who took the time to make suggestions. I'm just really rushed for time, but I really do appreciate it.

I'm trying to run my fathers business, in between going to the hospital. There are lawsuits, jobs to be run..i'm running thin..

Today was a step back. I went to the hospital first thing this morning. Good news, no permanent damage to his kidneys, liver and lungs...bad news, he is gaining back his facilities and now is starting to back peddle. He thinks he can get out, take two weeks then start going to a shrink and meetings......which is not going to happen, he will eventually slip right back to where he was and this time i'm afraid, he will finish the job

In regards to my original question....Fandy - Carrier was one he has been to, had reasonable success..

I feel though that I need to get him out of state...i have family members that want to coddle him and visit him constantly and that is NOT what he needs...

****

here is some that i came up with - going to put spaces in, i'm not trying to advertise for anyone

M ayo C linic - rochester minn
L aurel L ight
O rigins - T exas

some in florida, still working on names

I'm trying to make calls around and ask, but everyone of course is going to sell their company. Thats what i find with webpages on facilities...you can color them anyway you want...hard finding unbiased opinions, like i said.

Dee74 - thanks for the link, i'm looking in to it as time permits.


I'm trying my best and using every avenue possible, I'm starting to loose it though

MrWhiteKnuckles

thanks soberbrooke, i'll add it to my list of research

I'm sorry for the loss of your father.

I agree and completely understand that he has to do it for himself.....i'm just trying what i can do....and it doesnt seem like a whole hell of alot at this point

Lenina

I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. Does his hospital have a social services department? they may have some referrals. also, I would highly recommend that you have a professional intake counselor talk to your dad and perhaps have you and other concerned family members. as you know, alcoholics hate having anything get in the way of our addiction.

also, if you can find a rehab center near home, I think that's best. it's better for ongoing aftercare and making relationships with others in recovery. When I was in rehab, we went to meetings in the community and I think that helped me follow up once I completed the inpatient part.

I hope this helps and please know I'm keeping you and your dad in my thoughts.

Love from Lenina

MrWhiteKnuckles

thank you Lenina

The problem we have with my father is he has been around the block and knows how to go through the motions....fake it till you make it....he has faked it and obviously has yet to make it.....he has been to meetings, he has been to rehabs, he as been to one on one top professional alcohol counselors.

He is a controller who has no control

My entire family, besides my little sister have been to rehabs at one point in our lives...so we are very aware of it being on him....

IndaMiricale

One word Hazelden in Center City Minnesota. I have known many people to go to many re habs, They only work if the clown is done with his act. I send prayers your way.

Fandy

if he just goes through the motions, he is wasting your time and $$$..

He has to want to stop....or drink himself to death. you can lead a horse to water.....

DisplacedGRITS

My experience with rehab was when i went to the intensive outpatient program at the Dewey Center here in Milwaukee, WI. Specifically in Waiwatosa. I wish i could have been atmitted for the inpatient program but alas, i wasn't. No room. The out patient program was great but i relapsed bot timesbbecause i didn't do my after care program. I went from structure back to chaos and so my drinking returned. It wasn't until i started caring about my sobriety on my own and going to AA on my own that i've been able to achieve any kind long term sobriety. I'm so sorry for you and your father. I hope he has finally seen the light and realized what he has to do. I'm bipolar in addition to my alcoholism and my eating disorder. Getting together with a therapist and a psych who put me on meds has been a huge part of my treatment. Your father HAS to commit to all of the treatment. Not just the inpatient rehab but the medication and after care when rehab is over, otherwise he will just be back on the relapse train. It's sad but true. Good luck in your search. You are a good son.

LoftyIdeals

If I were to go to rehab again, I'd go to a St. Jude Thaddeus home. I couldn't afford one when I needed it, so I ordered the home study materials, which were also good.