Stevie1

I thought this was pretty cool. In addition to AA, I am seeing a therapist who specializes in addiction. He is an ex-hippie-type, cognitive/rational/behaviourist and I like him. He was also a competitive tennis player.

So, we were talking about the notion of "surrender" and the fact that in his 30 or so professional years, he has never encountered anyone who can "control" their addiction although most people try. It always comes down to Just Quit. We talked about the AA first step and how many people regard it as a weakness, or giving up:
"We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable."

As best I can, I want to share his tennis court analogy, which really resonated with me.

You're engaged in a long, drawn-out tennis match. Your opponent is the perfect tennis-playing machine. Will never tire, hits balls at an unrelenting rate 24/7, has perfect aim and computerised knowledge of game strategy that will beat whatever strategy you can come up with, every time. This machine is your addiction.

You refuse to give up. You are exhausted, sweating, bleeding....but you are also tenacious and determined to win. Somehow, one day, you WILL win against the perfect machine. You stay on the court, gritting your teeth, hurting, sweating, exhausted, playing, day after week after year upon year. Even though your common sense and everyone you know tells you that it is impossible to win this game against the perfecrt machine. Ever.

Is this smart? No. Is this courageous? After a while, no. It's futile and silly.

How do you win?
Drop your racquet and walk off the court. That is the courageous and smart thing to do. And this is how you win the game, because it leaves your addiction with no weapons against you. Therefore, you have become the stronger one, and won the game.

Dee74

Thanks Stevie - cool analogy

I've often thought of something like this...

but my opponent wasn't perfect...it was me...just me...

and how can you win against yourself...I know all his strengths weaknesses and all his moves and thoughts...but so does my opponent.

Maybe I watch too much science fiction LOL...but it's the same answer...you lay down the racquet

D

mds1212

I struggle mightily with the first step. I know I am an egomaniac with an inferiority complex and any help with the first step is wonderful to me. That's for a great life lesson!

soberjim

Thanks for the post.. really like the analogy.

Jim

Stevie1

I'm glad others find it helpful too!

Dee, you're right...the "addiction" opponent can be framed however best works for an individual. I call it my "addict brain" and it's me, yet not-me.

freshstart57

Stevie, this duality you describe is the basis of addiction - we know we shouldn't drink, but there is this craving that seems to come from some animal need.

People have been using this idea to get sober forever - separate yourself from the 'not-me' part that wants a drink. Develop the ability to sense addict brain activity. Add a confidence in yourself, and a commitment to never drink again and you will find a new life, one with a secure permanent sobriety.

This idea might be interesting to you, Stevie - framing addiction in the way you described can be very useful. You can learn more about it by looking for AVRT in the Sober Connections forum.

Stevie1

fresh, I will. I've done some reading on the RR site and have the "flash-card" AVRT site bookmarked, actually. Thank you.