Jess8

Hi everyone. My husband and I hae been together for 15 years, since teenagers. We did drugs as kids and I sobered up cold turkey when I got pregnant with my first child at 18. My husband continued to have drug problems oer the next 8 years, detoxed, went to rehab, and has been clean from illegal substances for 3 years. That's when we started drinking... and yes, I realize he shouldn't have been drinking, but what's done is done.

So we've been drinking every night from 8pm until bedtime for 3 years. Me: 4-6 beers a night. Him: 6-8 beers per night. We need to quit. Our family is suffering and we are facing divorce. He wants to go to marriage counseling, but I know the first thing that counselor is going to say is to get the alcohol out of our lives. So I agreed... that if we can do that, I will go to counseling with him. After all, if we can't complete the first request, the rest is moot. If we can kick the alcohol, since I know it's one of our marriage's biggest problems, we can work on the rest. We had a long talk about all this.

So here we go. We have had some sober nights here and there, but not many.

Tonight will be our FIRST night with the plan to stop altogether. I guess the best way to look at this is "Just not today" right?

DisplacedGRITS

When i decided that my drinking was making my life unmanageable (and my drinking was off the scale) my husband set aside alcohol as well. It's great to have a partner. I'm lucky in that he's not an alcoholic but having someone to talk to at the end of the day about what went good and what went bad is pretty cool. We keep it light though. It's too easy to slip into him trying to council me and that never turns out well. There's a big difference between supporting each other and advising each other! Just support, lol! The marriage counciling is such a great idea. We did that too and it's been so wonderful. I wish you two well together. Welcome to SR!

artsoul

Welcome Jess!

Congrats on making a great decision! No matter what happens in your relationship, it's going to benefit you. I found that a lot of my depression and anxiety was due to drinking - it made me irritable and impatient. It gets worse over time, too.

Getting support was the key to my getting sober. I'm glad you're here!

Live2Run25

Great decision! When I've had boyfriends in the past and we both drank, it always got ugly. I hope you two can work it out..

Dee74

Hi and welcome Jess

I'm really glad you and your husband are looking to deal with your problem.

The only advice I'd give is for each of you to run your own journey here...don't make your sobriety dependant on his or vice versa.

The only thing that ever worked for me was wanting to do this - for myself.

I wish you both the best - and I look forward to seeing you around

D

Anna

Welcome, and as Dee said, be sure to focus on yourself in this journey.

I hope you keep posting.

icanwin

Great Decision Jess8. You can make it.

I m sure that you must have had difficult times. You deserve to be happy now.

May God bless you both. But I agree it is to hard to fight for 2, you need to focus on yourself :-)