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Seeing the Positives at 11 months

Old 07-10-2012, 04:33 AM
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Seeing the Positives at 11 months

I celebrated 11 months of continuous sobriety on Saturday. I went to my favorite AA meeting, picked up my chip, and felt great.

So...what's changed over the last 11 months? I'll give an example. Yesterday was a busy day for my family. Teenage kids needing rides to/from summer jobs, work appts, and the like. As it turned out, my wife took my son to a marching band event during the dinner hour, while my other son hung out with his neighborhood friends. My daughter needed a ride home from work, which left a great and rare opportunity to take her to a one-on-one father daughter dinner out. I had a $10 gift card for Chili's in my pocket, and off we went. What a treat! We talked about her life, her job and her online business. My beautiful 15 yr old daughter has turned out to be quite a together person.

Flashback one year. None of this would have happened. The whole family's day and plans would have revolved around an overwraught mom's availabilty to be there for ALL 3 kids, while I drank away my troubles. I would have cracked the first beer around 3 or 4. I may have made a kid run while still sober enough to drive. But, after 6, I would have been too "relaxed" to help out in almost any way. I may have made dinner and cleaned up, but that would be all she wrote. If I had been forced to begrudgingly made the 7 o clock work pick up, it wouldn't have included the notion of taking my daughter out to dinner. Instead, I would have been praying I didn't get pulled over, and when I got home, another drink to relieve that "stress".

The $10 gift card? It made for a $15 dinner tab last night. Highly affordable. In the past, it would have been as many beers as it could justify. And, I wouldn't have felt I could have afforded dinner out. It's amazing how different money flows and feels today. It's not ideal, but soooo much better

This is the new normal. My wife and kids, and myself, are all now free to have lives. We are not tethered to a leash that is only as long as dad's drinking allows it to be. We are actually happy enough to joke and laugh, and even test our new limits, rather than live in fear, and walk on eggshells around each other. Eggshell moments are very rare now.

Before I picked my daughter up, I went to the pool to try to swim. The pool was full with swim lessons, so I didn't get to go. Did I get upset? No. I was disappointed, but I quickly adapted my use of time to do other errands that needed to be done in that area. That's where the dinner idea came from.

At eleven months, I don't spend my day's rueing the past, or fearing the future. I try to make the best of each moment. The past will always be, and the future will come, but today is the day to be cherished.

I hope this helps someone who might be wondering if sobriety is worth it. It is. It's not perfect, and I still have some tired, foggy, and stressful days, but so does everyone else. The difference is that I'm not doing those things that makes those conditions a perpetual state of existence. Those down days are a comparative rarity, and becoming more so with the passage of time.

Peace and well-being to those of you who are serious enough to give new, sober life a real run for the money!
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Old 07-10-2012, 04:42 AM
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Congrats on 11 months
it sounds very liberating-I'm looking forward to it
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Old 07-10-2012, 05:05 AM
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So grateful and happy for your share lofty. Congratulations!

I have watched you live every day with the intention to make it count in a positive way.

I have seen you purposefully and mindfully seek the right tools and actions to support your growth.

I am personally grateful in particular for you sharing your progress towards a right-minded successful profession life. You are getting what I want and I am happy to be learning on my own path to the same.

For all reading, I am blessed to have an enduring monthly thread. My experience is that sharing daily with others at the same place more or less on the journey has been a key to my sobriety. I encourage newcomers to find a monthly or other ongoing thread and make it your own home.

March it lofty!
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Old 07-10-2012, 05:10 AM
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Lofty, that's a really great post. Congratulations on your recovery.
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Old 07-10-2012, 05:12 AM
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What a great post. Really inspiring. I want that life too ...
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Old 07-10-2012, 05:32 AM
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Lofty,

Congrats on the 11 months, you sound great. Loved your post.

Love
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Old 07-10-2012, 06:33 AM
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11 months is awesome! Congrats on your new life.
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Old 07-10-2012, 07:00 AM
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Congrats LI!
Grateful to hear of you're progress.
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Old 07-10-2012, 07:13 AM
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Excellent share! Thank you for the boost!
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Old 07-10-2012, 01:32 PM
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Aw, that was awesome, Lofty. I can relate to a lot of that. Looking back, it's amazing we lived like that for as long as we did. I'm happy for you and proud of you for doing what needed to be done to live this peaceful life. I hope I can be a part of your next 11 months, too! :ghug3
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Old 07-10-2012, 01:44 PM
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Aw, that really touched me. So lovely and descriptive of all the "little" but not really that "little" things that you now get to do.

Gives me even more to look forward to.
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Old 07-10-2012, 01:57 PM
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Wonderful post, Lofty! Thanks for sharing your blessings of sobriety. It's very encouraging!
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Old 07-10-2012, 03:43 PM
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Congrats on your sober time and thanks for sharing your positive experience with us.
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Old 07-10-2012, 03:51 PM
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Congratulations on 11 Months Lofty!! Your posts on here are very inspiring x
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Old 07-10-2012, 05:51 PM
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Congratulations on 11 months!
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Old 07-10-2012, 05:58 PM
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Well, friend, you and I are going to make it to one year I do believe! You sound great and so happy. What a heartwarming thread....I am sure you will help a lot of people when they read that post.

You deserve the world you have now. And the great thing is, is that you appreciate it. So many people that haven't "gone through hell and fought their way back" may not have the fierce sense of gratefulness that should come with each day.

Thank you for an eloquent, logical and honest post.
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Old 07-10-2012, 06:01 PM
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What a great gift you gave yourself and your family! Frances2011, good idea about following a thread. I'm new to this site and think that's a good idea! Kim
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Old 07-10-2012, 06:29 PM
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Congratulations from me too Lofty - it's been great to walk alongside you

D
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Old 07-10-2012, 06:50 PM
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I'm glad that I stopped in to read this!

Thanks for sharing, and congrats!
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Old 07-10-2012, 06:58 PM
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Ok Lofty, you've done it again.

Why is it that whenever you post, I want to read more??

Big smile after reading that post. Congratulations Lofty
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