pandoras Box Day 2
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: England UK
Posts: 26
pandoras Box Day 2
After majorly breaking down to rock bottom and finding myself in an unknown place/bed saturday, here I am on day two.
Really having to watch my mental health. I seem to have been very paranoid and depressed and I feel like a bystander watching a fool. It can only get better.
Im considering medical advice.
Really having to watch my mental health. I seem to have been very paranoid and depressed and I feel like a bystander watching a fool. It can only get better.
Im considering medical advice.
Crazy Cat Lady
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 2,661
Meeting with a doctor while detoxing is an excellent idea. It can be embarassing but your doctor will be very happy that you are making that positive life choice and can be an amazing font of information in addition to medical help.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Talking to a doctor is always a good idea Seo 
Or if you are feeling really bad now you could always phone the Samaritans 08457 90 90 90. Sometimes just talking to another person can help get you out of your head and make you feel better. I hope you feel better soon x
Or if you are feeling really bad now you could always phone the Samaritans 08457 90 90 90. Sometimes just talking to another person can help get you out of your head and make you feel better. I hope you feel better soon x
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: England UK
Posts: 26
Im on day four right now. It feels scary and certainly not my doing.
Im kind of waiting for the whole thing to crash. The insomnia is unbearable. Also heavy depression symptoms. How are you?
Im kind of waiting for the whole thing to crash. The insomnia is unbearable. Also heavy depression symptoms. How are you?
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
Hi Seo. Don't loose heart - it takes more than a few days to begin to feel hopeful. We've all felt the way you're feeling - you're not alone.
I hope you have - or will - get some medical advice. You can make it past this difficult time.
I hope you have - or will - get some medical advice. You can make it past this difficult time.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Kon, Hawaii
Posts: 1
Originally Posted by Seo 
After majorly breaking down to rock bottom and finding myself in an unknown place/bed saturday, here I am on day two.
Really having to watch my mental health. I seem to have been very paranoid and depressed and I feel like a bystander watching a fool. It can only get better.
Im considering medical advice.
Really having to watch my mental health. I seem to have been very paranoid and depressed and I feel like a bystander watching a fool. It can only get better.
Im considering medical advice.
I am at day 3, and feel defeated. I am new here, and noticed your post to compare. I'm not sure if you have a support system, but after 3 years, and realizing I needed help, I finally caved and asked. My Husband took it upon himself to schedule an appt. w/ an Addiction Specialist that I see Thursday, I am extremely nervous, anxious, and not ready to display myself?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: England UK
Posts: 26
HI All,
Im touched by all your messages and for all of you who are early in recovery like me who are taking little steps forward. This is day four for me now. A scary place to be as I cant get get to grips with going forward.
It reminds me of a poem I wrote a long time ago about surrender while looking at step 1. Ive pasted it below. I really struggle with step one and "letting go" yet that lays the foundation for the whole entire recovery program :-
Oh looming angel how you scold me,
> forcing me to grow by day,
> Honoured touch your lashes hurt me
> still there is no other way,
> Stubbornly I try to protest
> as you raise the sword in hand,
> sent by him who knows me better,
> holds my life upon his hand,
>
> Screeching on the ground with loathing
> like a demon lost in hell.
> Blessed lash you cleanse each moment
> for my soul you will not sell
> Your wings I hear them crash above me
> brilliant white like clouds in sky
> Legs like steel and eyes so fiery
> I have no choice to do or die.
>
> Blessed being soar above me
> rain down truth to wash me clean.
> Purer brighter understanding
> From the worlds of all unseen
Im touched by all your messages and for all of you who are early in recovery like me who are taking little steps forward. This is day four for me now. A scary place to be as I cant get get to grips with going forward.
It reminds me of a poem I wrote a long time ago about surrender while looking at step 1. Ive pasted it below. I really struggle with step one and "letting go" yet that lays the foundation for the whole entire recovery program :-
Oh looming angel how you scold me,
> forcing me to grow by day,
> Honoured touch your lashes hurt me
> still there is no other way,
> Stubbornly I try to protest
> as you raise the sword in hand,
> sent by him who knows me better,
> holds my life upon his hand,
>
> Screeching on the ground with loathing
> like a demon lost in hell.
> Blessed lash you cleanse each moment
> for my soul you will not sell
> Your wings I hear them crash above me
> brilliant white like clouds in sky
> Legs like steel and eyes so fiery
> I have no choice to do or die.
>
> Blessed being soar above me
> rain down truth to wash me clean.
> Purer brighter understanding
> From the worlds of all unseen
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