Question about thought process on Alcohol Vs Other Addictions
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 1
Question about thought process on Alcohol Vs Other Addictions
Hi,
I just registered here. I have recognized the signs that i am slowly but surely drifting closely towards becoming an alcoholic and if i dont do something about it then it will only get worse and worse. It has gotten to the point where my drinking has started to affect my work (no enthusiasm, depressed, anxious ..... not to mention hungover) so i need to do something asap.
Anyway, i have set myself a 30 day challenge, almost with a view to test myself. 3 days in - all good. Been working out, sleeping well and feel fantastic.
At the same time I have been doing a self improvement audio course (thought it would keep me on track). Its NLP related and One of the things it mentions on it is to do with the way in which we act, which in our view is acceptable based on how our mind is programmed. For example - a devout jewish or muslim person does not eat pork, not due to will power, but due to the fact that it has been programmed into their minds that it is not right to do so. No will power is required, it is just an automatic association that they must not eat pork.
If i look at myself - i have never taken (or even tried drugs), nor do i smoke ..... why? because it is bad for my health, it is addictive, and it would take control of me.
So, why on earth, do i drink alcohol???? It has the same unwanted impact as smoking and drugs (perhaps in a different form, but still as destructive IMO) but, for me it seems that it has been programmed into my mind that alcohol is a perfectly acceptable 'recreational drug'.
Anyway, i think it stems down to the fact that my parents were heavy drinkers (at least a bottle of wine every night) and that where my thought process comes from - that because i grew up seeing this, it is perfectly acceptable for me to drink every night. But i am interested if anyone has any other thoughts/insights on this - either suggestions to me or talking from their own experience??
I just registered here. I have recognized the signs that i am slowly but surely drifting closely towards becoming an alcoholic and if i dont do something about it then it will only get worse and worse. It has gotten to the point where my drinking has started to affect my work (no enthusiasm, depressed, anxious ..... not to mention hungover) so i need to do something asap.
Anyway, i have set myself a 30 day challenge, almost with a view to test myself. 3 days in - all good. Been working out, sleeping well and feel fantastic.
At the same time I have been doing a self improvement audio course (thought it would keep me on track). Its NLP related and One of the things it mentions on it is to do with the way in which we act, which in our view is acceptable based on how our mind is programmed. For example - a devout jewish or muslim person does not eat pork, not due to will power, but due to the fact that it has been programmed into their minds that it is not right to do so. No will power is required, it is just an automatic association that they must not eat pork.
If i look at myself - i have never taken (or even tried drugs), nor do i smoke ..... why? because it is bad for my health, it is addictive, and it would take control of me.
So, why on earth, do i drink alcohol???? It has the same unwanted impact as smoking and drugs (perhaps in a different form, but still as destructive IMO) but, for me it seems that it has been programmed into my mind that alcohol is a perfectly acceptable 'recreational drug'.
Anyway, i think it stems down to the fact that my parents were heavy drinkers (at least a bottle of wine every night) and that where my thought process comes from - that because i grew up seeing this, it is perfectly acceptable for me to drink every night. But i am interested if anyone has any other thoughts/insights on this - either suggestions to me or talking from their own experience??
Sobriety date 12/19/2011
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: TX
Posts: 409
I drink alcohol because I am an alcoholic.
When I turn to the Will of God, it gives me the required strength I need to get through this process of life.
AA has really been my saving grace throughout all of this. I now have 6 months due to AA and my connection with my Higher Power.
When I turn to the Will of God, it gives me the required strength I need to get through this process of life.
AA has really been my saving grace throughout all of this. I now have 6 months due to AA and my connection with my Higher Power.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 1,022
I think you just grow up internalizing whatever societal norms you're learning from your environment, those become your 'values' and if they are counterproductive or self-destructive it can be a real bitch to get them turned around.
People tend to run on autopilot. We are creatures of habit. It's an evolutionary trait for minimizing the amount of brainpower you have to use on things you do everyday, actually. Think of your drive to work. How much of that do you have to think about? Not much. You just make all the right turns to get there with no real mental effort. You make breakfast in the morning, put on the coffee, whatever -- this is all stuff you do everyday.
When you've worked slugging down a twelve-pack into your routine it is hard, it's discomforting, to break that routine. Plus alcohol is physically and mentally addictive. So you've got that going for you..
So that's why we drink. We learn to do it when we don't know any better, from people whose values we are internalizing. Then some of us do it on a daily basis for many years, reinforcing things so it is ingrained, it is a habit. No wonder quitting is hard.
People tend to run on autopilot. We are creatures of habit. It's an evolutionary trait for minimizing the amount of brainpower you have to use on things you do everyday, actually. Think of your drive to work. How much of that do you have to think about? Not much. You just make all the right turns to get there with no real mental effort. You make breakfast in the morning, put on the coffee, whatever -- this is all stuff you do everyday.
When you've worked slugging down a twelve-pack into your routine it is hard, it's discomforting, to break that routine. Plus alcohol is physically and mentally addictive. So you've got that going for you..
So that's why we drink. We learn to do it when we don't know any better, from people whose values we are internalizing. Then some of us do it on a daily basis for many years, reinforcing things so it is ingrained, it is a habit. No wonder quitting is hard.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Welcome to SR j2226k 
For myself I know that the reason I never touched drugs is because I always felt like I had enough of a problem with alcohol. And I was exposed to drugs at quite a young age, 14 or so, so I must have known at that point that I liked alcohol a bit too much!
My parents were heavy drinkers too, and with all of my alcohol related problems growing up, they never once suggested to me that I don't drink, rather that I learn to control it. It was a relief to find this site and other people who told me that I don't have to drink
But then my parents were also notoriously anti smoking and I still ended up doing that.
There is no doubt that alcohol is a seemingly socially acceptable recreational drug but it doesn't/shouldn't take away our personal responsibility for how we interact with it, ie, the only persons relationship with alcohol we should be concerned with is our own.
I know that if I just carried on comparing myself to other people and especially society as a whole, then I would continue to just drink myself to destruction, because that's what everyone else seems to be doing. Or maybe it is just my addict mind telling me that...
Incidentally, it is also forbidden for Muslims to smoke but practically all my Muslim friends do. It doesn't matter what your societal rules are, if you start taking an addictive substance sooner or later you will end up addicted to it.
All that aside, well done on taking some positive steps towards a healthier relationship with alcohol, and especially for doing an NLP course. I've heard that stuff is fab. Keep us updated as to how you get on x
For myself I know that the reason I never touched drugs is because I always felt like I had enough of a problem with alcohol. And I was exposed to drugs at quite a young age, 14 or so, so I must have known at that point that I liked alcohol a bit too much!
My parents were heavy drinkers too, and with all of my alcohol related problems growing up, they never once suggested to me that I don't drink, rather that I learn to control it. It was a relief to find this site and other people who told me that I don't have to drink
But then my parents were also notoriously anti smoking and I still ended up doing that.
There is no doubt that alcohol is a seemingly socially acceptable recreational drug but it doesn't/shouldn't take away our personal responsibility for how we interact with it, ie, the only persons relationship with alcohol we should be concerned with is our own.
I know that if I just carried on comparing myself to other people and especially society as a whole, then I would continue to just drink myself to destruction, because that's what everyone else seems to be doing. Or maybe it is just my addict mind telling me that...
Incidentally, it is also forbidden for Muslims to smoke but practically all my Muslim friends do. It doesn't matter what your societal rules are, if you start taking an addictive substance sooner or later you will end up addicted to it.
All that aside, well done on taking some positive steps towards a healthier relationship with alcohol, and especially for doing an NLP course. I've heard that stuff is fab. Keep us updated as to how you get on x
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,393
You do have to flip your thinking. What was good is now bad. I think it's because alcohol is fun to begin with. Over time, it makes you sicker and sicker. So it does change. The mind wants to think it's still fun. The best thing to do is think about the bad things alcohol has done in your life. Focus on them. When you see a drink, think of it as a bad thing. That's what worked for me. Flip it! Alcohol is a depressant. It causes confusion. Trust someone who is not drinking. Someone who can be objective. You can do this! Sobriety rocks!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 1,180
Interesting point. I have never taken drugs as know I have an addictive personality so stuck to drink instead. It sounds crazy now but I genuinely had no idea how destructive alcohol is and how much it would take over my life
I agree with pp about Muslim smokers-many drink too even though they shouldn't.
I think you just need to change your associations with drink from good to bad and stop drinking
Welcome to SR!
I agree with pp about Muslim smokers-many drink too even though they shouldn't.
I think you just need to change your associations with drink from good to bad and stop drinking
Welcome to SR!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,359
welcome to SR j2226k
The key for me was acceptance - my relationship with alcohol was a toxic one....the only way to get out of that relationship was to leave it entirely
good to have you with us
D
The key for me was acceptance - my relationship with alcohol was a toxic one....the only way to get out of that relationship was to leave it entirely
good to have you with us
D
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: SE Michigan
Posts: 1,066
Interesting question.
In the distant past, I used a LOT of drugs including some really "bad" ones such as heroin, acid, speed and PCP. I always thought it interesting that the only two substances I got addicted to were the two legal ones: nicotine and alcohol.
So, programming (NLP) tells us - or at least those always-law-abiding ones - that if it's legal and socially acceptable, it's OK to use and keep on indulging. But if it's demonised and illegal, it's not OK and many people simply never go there in the first place. In hindsight, I've been using since I was 14 and I am now 54...it just wasn't always alcohol. Except as I got older I became more conscious about legal ramifictions of using, so I wouldn't DREAM of using illegal drugs now.
Beware of paralysis by analysis! Overthinking the process is not always a good thing. A non-alcoholic wouldn't regard 30 days without drinking as a challenge at all. Just saying.
In the distant past, I used a LOT of drugs including some really "bad" ones such as heroin, acid, speed and PCP. I always thought it interesting that the only two substances I got addicted to were the two legal ones: nicotine and alcohol.
So, programming (NLP) tells us - or at least those always-law-abiding ones - that if it's legal and socially acceptable, it's OK to use and keep on indulging. But if it's demonised and illegal, it's not OK and many people simply never go there in the first place. In hindsight, I've been using since I was 14 and I am now 54...it just wasn't always alcohol. Except as I got older I became more conscious about legal ramifictions of using, so I wouldn't DREAM of using illegal drugs now.
Beware of paralysis by analysis! Overthinking the process is not always a good thing. A non-alcoholic wouldn't regard 30 days without drinking as a challenge at all. Just saying.
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
I was an alcoholic because I drank too much alcohol, not the other way around.
I think that ideas like NLP are very powerful, and I have used some of them in my sobriety model. I convinced myself that not only is there no good reason for me to drink anymore, it is not a moral thing for me to do simply because it makes it easy for me to do immoral things. I flipped that switch.
I think that ideas like NLP are very powerful, and I have used some of them in my sobriety model. I convinced myself that not only is there no good reason for me to drink anymore, it is not a moral thing for me to do simply because it makes it easy for me to do immoral things. I flipped that switch.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 328
I come from a pretty big drinking country/culture, so I understand how strongly that can influence your habits. The issue of not drinking at special occasions is a particularly big one for me. Toasting with a non-alcoholic beverage is one of those things which, for social reasons, you simply do not do where I'm from.
Even when I don't drink, if I want to be part of a toast, I will put a tiny drop of vodka in whatever I happen to be drinking. It just feels wrong for me to do otherwise.
I also think the fact that alcohol is legal and conveniently available has a bigger impact than most people realize. I used to be a big fan of stimulants (mostly various ADD medications, occasionally cocaine). I enjoyed them more than I ever did drinking... but never became addicted and eventually cut down to nothing but caffeine whereas I'm still struggling with the drinking. The reason was one of convenience. I could obtain adderall easily, but not whenever or in whatever amount I wanted. I can get drunk whenever, wherever and to whatever extent I want provided I can come up with 20$. This is a non-trivial difference.
I wish you best of luck.
Even when I don't drink, if I want to be part of a toast, I will put a tiny drop of vodka in whatever I happen to be drinking. It just feels wrong for me to do otherwise.
I also think the fact that alcohol is legal and conveniently available has a bigger impact than most people realize. I used to be a big fan of stimulants (mostly various ADD medications, occasionally cocaine). I enjoyed them more than I ever did drinking... but never became addicted and eventually cut down to nothing but caffeine whereas I'm still struggling with the drinking. The reason was one of convenience. I could obtain adderall easily, but not whenever or in whatever amount I wanted. I can get drunk whenever, wherever and to whatever extent I want provided I can come up with 20$. This is a non-trivial difference.
I wish you best of luck.
Let go and Let God!
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Ohio
Posts: 352
I come from a big drinking family.
I didn't know you could have a family dinner without alcohol. I was amazed when I found out you could.
Growing up, alcohol was acceptable, drugs were not. I remember being little and saying I will never do drugs. Well I did. I wasn't an outcast of the family for drinking, but I was for drugs.
I really think some of it is how you are raised. Drugs, alcohol, or anything that alters my mind, I have to stay away from.
I didn't know you could have a family dinner without alcohol. I was amazed when I found out you could.
Growing up, alcohol was acceptable, drugs were not. I remember being little and saying I will never do drugs. Well I did. I wasn't an outcast of the family for drinking, but I was for drugs.
I really think some of it is how you are raised. Drugs, alcohol, or anything that alters my mind, I have to stay away from.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
