Pushy drinkers

Old 07-07-2012, 07:01 PM
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Pushy drinkers

After reading a few things on here about how alcoholics can sometimes be pushy about other peoples drinking because they are self conscious about their drinking and try to force it upon other people, I was reminded about people who I used to hang out with who were really pushy about me having to have more than one or two beers, and wondering if in some people it's just a college phase that people outgrow while in others it's a sign of beginning alcoholism. A "friend" of RABF (they don't hang out anymore; they went to college/university together) is able to have his day/night on an occasional weekend (I'm not sure how often, but he does like to party), but when the party's over and it's time to go back to work, he stops drinking and moves on. However, this same guy is also VERY pushy at parties, at least that's been my experience in the past at parties with him, he's very insistent that everyone in attendance get at least buzzed and won't leave you alone until you do. That's apparently just how he is (and his girlfriend is pretty much the same way), but he (as far as I know) can drink like he does and not black out or have other alcoholism type problems. In short, he knows when to stop, and can. Yet that trait/tendency of forcing the drinking onto other people that some alcoholics can have, describes him to a T.
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Old 07-07-2012, 07:07 PM
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Some people hate to drink alone. I never had that problem, but I've heard others do. Of course, it could be there will come a time when he won't be able to just turn it off. Alcoholism is progressive and people can drink for years and years and appear to have it under control. Then, all of a sudden, they can't control it anymore. This guy is playing with fire, but that's his problem. Don't let anyone try to force you to drink more than you want.
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Old 07-07-2012, 07:15 PM
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Yes, but all those people I went to college with who would practically scold me for barely being able to finish one beer (I can't stand the taste)? They're not alcoholics. They outgrew the bar scene.
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Old 07-07-2012, 07:22 PM
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Lots of alcoholics don't do the bar scene. That doesn't mean they aren't alcoholics. Who knows if they are or aren't or are on their way. The point is, you don't have to drink unless you want to. I would ask why they care how much I drink and then tell them to mind their own business. If they continued, I'd just tell them to eff off and leave. Problem solved. Who wants to be around jerks like that anyway?
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Old 07-07-2012, 08:27 PM
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[QUOTE= The point is, you don't have to drink unless you want to. I would ask why they care how much I drink and then tell them to mind their own business. If they continued, I'd just tell them to eff off and leave. Problem solved. Who wants to be around jerks like that anyway?[/QUOTE]

Completely agree! I remember hanging out with people when we were in our 30's (WAY past the college age drinking mentality) and there would always be that one person encouraging everyone to drink more, making fun of, or downright bullying anyone who didn't want to. After awhile I just got tired of it. Trying to explain that I wasn't going to have another drink because I DIDN'T WANT TO got me nowhere. The only solution for me was to quit going places where I knew these people were likely to be.
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Old 07-08-2012, 06:13 AM
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Most alcoholics I know are not even concerned about others drinking. They are too busy guzzling hard liquor themselves to care.
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Old 07-08-2012, 06:34 AM
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my A loved drinking alone...so well, he had all the bottles hidden in his van and off to the CANALs to drink all day....
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Old 07-08-2012, 08:49 AM
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Yeah, it may not be an alcohol issue. A surprising amount of people, I've found, are just plain pushy and rude. There are people who will monitor the food you're eating when you're at a restaurant, or ask persistent personal questions, or ruin a coffee date with political polemics.

Who cares *why*? Maybe they have deep-seated whatevers, maybe they're just asshats. There are certain verbal self-defense thingies you can employ with people like this (like, just say you're not drinking, then change the subject). But if they persist, why hang out with them at all?

Does that sound really negative of me? Seriously, my group of "friends" has shrunk dramatically in the past decade. Sometime I realized I was wasting whole days and evenings with boring, pushy losers and I was like, "Why?"
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Old 07-08-2012, 09:10 AM
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IME pushing people to join them in drinking is unrelated to the disease of alcoholism. Some people are like that, some people aren't. Some will be alcoholics, some will not.
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Old 07-08-2012, 09:21 AM
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i often have people who *know* that i don't drink buy me drinks anyway, which is fine. let them waste their money and have a drink plopped down in front of me. they can't FORCE me to open my mouth and take a chug.
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