Roselian

I am drunk now so just hate me.

I just hate my life. I am about to give up. My stephdad is a perv and he wants to have sex with me and will pay me. He tells me that a lot . And he is kind and helpfull as well so very confusion.

I was drinking all night and did not have any more alcohol. My "loving" stephdad bought me some vodka and gave it to me. I had to kiss him though.

He is 60 years old and he had sex with my mom. I hate him.

I think I might kill myself soon. I give up. I am to messed up and damaged so I should just die.

Saliena

Roselian -- Please don't give up. Your stepdad's issues are his and not yours. Have you got someone you can reach out to? Outside your family? Maybe a friend or a member of AA. If you need to feel free to reachout to me. I will send you a private message with my number.

Woot86

take this in as concerned and caring advice. Get professional help NOW if you have thoughts of suicide ! I lost a good friend from suicide.
This is not an appropriate place for advice in your situation.
Get help ASAP!

Roselian

Thanks. I dont really want to die. I am just so. I dont know. I feel so angry and sad. I hate everything. I give up.

I wished that I belived in heaven. I hope it is one. The one thing that keeps me from killing myself is that i i do not want everything to end. I want to be able to give my dad a big hug and I wondering how my team will do in the future.

You are just at this place where you think I give up. I can not manage this live .

If I had the courage I would drive my car and crash into a tunne, Boom it is over.

But I do not think that I want to just die. I am just so ,,,,,eh I dont know that I am feeling.

TorontoGuy28

Hi Roselian,

I am sorry to hear about your troubles... Can you get to an AA meeting ? Get a sponsor, even if it is a temporary one.... I too felt down many, many times in my addiction.... There is a great future ahead of you ! Please don't give up !!

TG

hypochondriac

How old are you Roselian? Do you live with your stepdad?

Addiction can make you feel suicidal so please try getting help first.

There are some links here which may help:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ease-read.html

Zee

I have been where you are sweetie. Thought I wanted to end it all.
Lot my first job and my boyfriend (first love) on the same day!
15th June 1993. Bad day.
We get over stuff.
Give your stepdad (when sober) some advice... what he is doing is unacceptable. If he doesn't stop, you will tell your mum, or the police.
You'll be ok. Concentrate on the good stuff, just for tonight. Will be thinking of you xxx

justhadenough

Hiya

When I read this I thought you were very young and lived with your stepdad. but having read your other thread you hve a good job and must be at least early twenties.

If you live with him please try and move out. If you have your own place keep away from him. does your mom know how he acts?

Roselian

My mom died a year ago. In the bed with my stephdad. She had epilepsy,

Zee

Ah, sorry
Lost my mum 2 years ago (cancer)... too young
One of the reasons I'm here! xxx
:ghug3

Roselian

My mo
m died a year ago. In the bed with my stephdad. She had epilepsy,

She d

sugarbear1

Roselian,
I'm reading through your older posts. Nothing seems to really make sense in them. Once you were in school with a paper due and now you are a social worker. Is there any way you can write your story so we can follow what's going on so we can help you out? Is it just the alcohol talking and making less sense?

Okay, I didn't check out the dates. It really would help to have your story in a sequence so we can understand what's up.

Maybe just not drink. Call a doctor and get some help, please. For your own sake.

Roselian

Ok the truth is my mom died 6/6/2009. I was supposed to have and exeam the 5 but I bailed. My mom and I argued a lot

Roselian

I am not a socialworker yet. I was sick and did not complete my finale exams because of drinking and being craxy.

I still work though but will be a real socialworker in september 2012 when i finish my thesisl But I still work as a socialworker at a norwegian welfare office.

sugarbear1

Well, that doesn't coincide with the dates, but that's ok.

Are you here to try to stay stopped from drinking?

What are you willing to do to stay stopped?

Maybe in person meetings, counseling, detox then rehab?

Something's gotta click with you.

I wish you well on your sober journey,

Roselian

Ok sorry.

Mom died 2009
Social work degree 2012.

Roselian

Do you hate me ?

suki44883

Roselian, no one here hates you. We are concerned for you and trying to help you. But, we cannot do it for you. You have to be the one to take the necessary steps to recovery. Please listen to all this good advice. You CAN get better.

Sapling

Nobody hates you Roselian...We want to help you...That's all.

DisplacedGRITS

Did you ask your stepdad for the alcohol? If you did, do you see how your addiction is endangering you even further? He is a monster and you have to have all of your wits about you at all times to deal with him. Alcohol confuses us, slows us down, weakens our sense of self worth and makes us vulnerable to people who would use our addictions against us. Until you get some kind of handle on your addiction he will continue to use it against you. You will never change him. He will always be a monster. What you can change is how you deal with him and how you let it effect you life and well being. It dosen't have to be the way it is right now. Remove alcohol from your life and you will find a sense of self worth flowing back into you. When that becomes a part of you again and you nurture it, it's something that even monsters can't take away unless you let them.