Gravesmeister

I'm a newbie to this forum and wanted to say hi everyone. I've been an alcoholic since I was a teenager. I'm 40 now and I think it's time for me to grow up and stop this drinking before I either go insane from post drinking anxiety or I continue to damage my health. I've been to rehab a few times when I was younger and it worked for awhile but eventually I go back to it. I've started going to AA meetings I can't count how many times but I eventually quit going because I have a hard time talking to new people. Especially in a group setting as I have about the worst case of shyness I've ever seen. So I guess thats all I have to say for now. Thanks for listening.

Michael66

Hi Gravesmeister

Good to see you here. You'll find lots of support here - I think this type of environment can be well suited to those who find public groups a bit daunting. I'm a natural introvert myself, so I'm not so comfortable in places where responses have to be made quickly (I think we introverts always want to quietly think before saying things, which can obviously create awkward gaps in conversations).

Stay sober buddy!

Sapling

Welcome to SR....You don't have to do a lot of talking at meetings to make it work...Listening is more important when you start....Here are a couple sites to look at for you. It's important you get a sponsor so you have someone to show you how this works....I'm glad you found us here...This is also a great place for online support. Here is a site about meetings you should look at...It talks about sponsorship and also a copy of the Big Book which is what AA is all about.

Your First AA Meeting<

The text of Alcoholics Anonymous

Change4good

Welcome! This board will be a great source of support for you. So glad you are embracing a new lifestyle. I too, am 40, and couldn't handle the anxiety anymore.

Now it is gone. :-) Welcome again, and glad to have you with us as you start this journey.

Gravesmeister

It's really awesome that I now have a place where I can talk to people about what is ailing me. For 2 nights since I drank last I can't go to sleep. My anxiety slowly gets better as the week progresses but it's still hard to sleep. Thank you all very much!!

Change4good

No need to be shy here. :-) We are a good bunch, and you can post whatever and whenever you need to! We are all ears.

Michael66

Hi GM

I don't sleep properly for the 60 days. I knew that was likely to happen (though not for quite that long) and so accepted it as something that happens when giving up the drink. I often went and read, which helped avoid lying there with a "3am view of the world". Anyone with kids can probably remember how you do get used to not having a good night's sleep

Dee74

welcome to SR Gravesmeister

D

Sapling

You know what that anxiety is?...For me it was fear of the unknown...I was terrified to go to meetings...Once I went and kept going...It went away and I love meetings now...Same thing with sleep...The fear of not being able to live without alcohol...I had fears of everything. Once I worked the 12 steps with a sponsor I took that fear and faced it head on...The result...No alcohol in my life...Way less anxiety...What I have is normal...Not crippling...And I sleep like a baby...Most important...I'm happy for a change...You want to be sober...It takes a little work...But you can do it.

Gravesmeister

I build up so much fear from drinking that I feel like I can't even go outside sometimes. The fear slowly loses it grip after time. Not totally though but it loosens. I'm sure I will eventually will be able to walk into a room of a whole bunch of people I don't know. I have no idea why that scares the living daylights out of me! Drinking really makes a coward out of me!!

Strongman

Hi Gravemeister,

welcome to this site. I'm a newbie as well. I think we may share an oxymoron. I'm 38 and have finally decided to grow up and reach out for the help that is there.
I'm not an alcoholic but a recovered drug addict. I went into long term re-hab about 4 years ago and I loved the fact that I finally did that. If I be honest, stop lying and being dodgy in the extreme the help is out there if you be honest with yourself and ask for the help that is there.
We went to 2 A.A. meetings a week and I found that so helpful. Yes we are addicted to different things but we share one fact. They have f@#$%ed our lives so much.
I loved the fact that as a group we can meet this problem head on and emerge much better people.
I'm a shy person as well. Now it's time for another oxymoron. At the age 24 I started using needles. Two of the most dangerous things that I know of ; crystal meth and heroin. Yes they make you feel o.k. for a while but crystal meth f@#$'s your head up so much and you can o.d. on heroin.

Ahhhh, hindsight, it's a beautiful thing.

Please say sober Gravemeister and fill your life with beauty and love.

xoxox

:ghug3

regeneration

hi Gravemeister. Good to see you here. I'm a few month's sober and I've been incredibly shy in the past. I'm an introvert and sometimes it just hurts dealing with the social interactions stuff.

Re. AA, I make the tea at one meeting, and greeting at another for the next 6 weeks. The tea making helped me a lot to get to know people in that group as everyone had to to talk to me and vice versa. After a few weeks it got okay.

If you do think group support is useful then if you're in a built-up area try out a few meetings nearby and eventually someone will say there is a tea commitment and would someone like to do it. Do it somewhere where you feel a little bit comfortable. I love one group I go to but unfortunately don't do tea there... but I still get something out of the other group where I make tea.

Or as Michael66 and others are saying, online support also great, this board and another one called BrightEyes really helped me in early sobriety, you soon get to know others, and there are lots of other recovery advice/programs.

Good luck and nice to see you!

[EDIT] I forgot to say... my "social anxiety" has got better since I got a few month's sober. Never expected that. I used to shake when I spoke in AA. I don't as much now unless it's a huge group. I think removing booze allowed my nerves/reactions to calm down. It was an unexpected bonus.

Sapling

Drinking pours fuel on your fear like pouring gas on a fire...I got to the point the only thing that could get me to leave my room...Let alone my house...was if I needed more alcohol. Every fear I had...Alcohol made worse.

Alan111

Welcome to the site .

I used to be the same when I was younger, I was always shy and anxious going out and meeting people and that's where alcohol came in. I ended up depending on it so much though that I felt I could no longer leave the house without it.

It was only after I stopped drinking that I realised that most of the anxiety I felt was because of the alcohol withdraw I felt when I hadn't had a drink.

sugarbear1

I was shy, too. Full of fear. When I worked my 5th step, I realized how self-centered I was. Self-centered in the extreme. I just found old photo albums. I look at the beautiful woman in those pics and all I know is how shy she felt, how out of place she was where ever she was. I wasted a lot of time not being comfortable with myself; it only made me uncomfortable with others and stopped me from living a different life.

Alcohol had it's place. It helped me to feel comfortable in my own skin. It was an illusion. It didn't make me taller, prettier, or more talkative. I was still not totally comfortable with others. I just "felt okay" when I drank.

Today, I feel comfortable in my own skin, I am okay with who I am and I am okay when I am with others. Those steps change me and helped me.

I did what was suggested in AA and I am glad I walked through my fears to get to where I am today. At 13.5 months of sobriety, I am no longer shy or full of fear.

Faith is walking through one's fears to get to the other side....

I wish you well on your sober journey!

Gravesmeister

I had my run in with meth myself. I loved it so much that It almost completely did me in in 3 months time. I had lost my family, my job and almost my place to live. We do have something in common as far as drugs go. Although I know that whether it be heroin, meth, alcohol, coke or whatever the drug the end result is usually the same. If we don't die from it we hit a point where enough is enough and we seek to be done with it. It's really awesome to have you and everyone else's support here.

Gravesmeister

Yeah as time went on I found myself to be more and more dependent on having to be intoxicated to show up to any sort of social gathering. And it got to the point if I could not drink before or during then I would find some way to get out of it. In hindsight I think of what a pathetic way that is to go through life. LOL

Gravesmeister

That's great!! Those are 2 of the biggest things I hope to gain from sobriety. A) Learn to be comfortable with just being plain old me. B) Not be so damn scared of meeting new people!

Notmyrealname

I used a melatonin supplement to help with the sleeplessness in the first couple of weeks after quitting drinking (I think it is Schiff's "Melatonin Plus"). Another option is diphenhydramine HCl (get it by itself in a capsule, don't just get Tylenol PM, you don't need all that acetominophen), but it can make you very groggy in the morning. Or, tell your doctor that you're having problems sleeping through the night. Prescription sleep aids work like the dickens. He may be able to just give you some samples, since your inability to sleep isn't a chronic issue.

Stevie1

Welcome Gravemeister!

Someone at an AA meeting I was at recently just got her three year coin, and several people spoke up during the meeting to congratulate her, and also mentioned how she never said a word in her first year of meetings. She just showed up and listened, I guess it worked.

I think the two things you want most from sobriety are linked - is the fear of meeting new people because you feel self-conscious and worried about what people are thinking about you? (I'm a total social butterfly so sorry if this is a dumb question.) I certainly never was happy about myself as a drunk but have always been very adept at putting on a happy face. If you want to do AA again, maybe look for a smaller meeting which won't be as overwhelming. Or a big one where you can be "lost in the crowd." Some I go to have maybe a dozen people, a couple have well over 50 on a regular basis.

Anyways glad you made it here and you know you can always find people on this forum who can identify with you.