Summerpeach

I made a thread the other day asking if it was worth getting my addict friends family to try to help her out with an intervention, but just an hr ago, this friendship was over.

I've avoided her for days because it just feels so "sick" when I communicate with her. I got all addicts, but her, out of my life and am healing with therapy and Al Anon and I just could not deal with her.
I've ended this friendship over 5 times in 13 yrs, but she always came back with some story and I was sucked right back.
Well she called me to ask why I had no called her back, my reply was calm and said "I am struggling with a few things between us"
and POW, the fireworks started, I should have known better and realize you cannot reason with an active sick addict.
She went on to say some mean spirited things and told me "I cannot have a friendship with you anymore, you're too damaging and controlling"
I said "ok, I agree"
And then she went on to say some more mean stuff. I actually yelled. I NEVER YELL and then realized the addict was trying to get me to react.
I then just hung up on her. I never hung up on her ever.

All this to say, she is a good person with a huge heart but does so much coke and drinks so much, she is fried and I realize everything she said is not personal but was all mirroring, but I am done.

No matter what she says, my friendship with her is over for good.

I'm really sad, but this is the last of the addict in my life

Ann

Sadly, these addicted friends and loved ones are not ours to save.

We can pray for them and hope that one day they decide to walk a better path, but the rest is up to them.

You are wise to step back, a front row seat to addiction is the worst seat in the house.

Hugs

Summerpeach

I thought for a moment I could help because she came to be back in March (after me not talking to her for 5 months) asking for my help.
Saying she was ready.......I thought maybe she was! She wasn't and truly after yesterday, I see there is little chance she will ever recover.

She blocked me on FB and mutual friends told me she took all my pics down and posted sh&t about me......I'm shocked because she's never reacted in such a harsh way when I've walked away from her.

I have to say, I am FULLY relieved, but sad! I know for sure, I will never see or speak to her again. This part of my life is now closed for good. No more addicts in my life

:-)

Summerpeach

Though, she has a brand new lap top I lent her and I need it back.
She will give me the run away to get it back. I'll have a friend go to her home to get it


ugh

fourmaggie

you should get it back...its called getting a back bone...and no middle man...

we all have to do things we do not like, and this is one of them...
sorry you had a friend like that...i did too...i let her go in Jan of this year...sad all the same

Summerpeach

Well I prefer no contact with her and not have any more of her madness.
If she sees me, she will try to talk to me and apologize. Believe me, I have a back bone, but I am done with her craziness.

Vale

A laptop in exchange for a lifetime disconnect with the madness of an
addict?

(a better deal than that you are not likely to find in this world!)

fourmaggie

i was meaning that you go and get the laptop because you ARE better than HER MADNESS....i didnt say you need to talk to her...NO!...you are better than all the madness....i feel its better in my opinion....it proves to her that it is over when you say "i said what i needed to say..."

Summerpeach

She left a long msg on my voice mail (because I called her to say I was coming to get my pc) saying she will be free later on today and she will put the pc at her front door like I asked.
She also apologized which I knew she would and if she sees me, she will try to talk to me about this.
I just want my pc and be done with this mess.
No talking, no "i'm sorry" no nothing...I don't want anymore addict in my life....ever

Summerpeach

Yeah, I don't think so. I'm not a door mat. It's my work lap top which was very expensive, so not just going to be meek and let her have it
that's just makes no sense.

Vale

If she is truly in the depths of addiction,the laptop's new home
was a pawnshop 45 minutes after you last saw it.
(personal experience).
But he addict I crossed paths with strung me out for 4 months using
"the laptop" as a means of maintaining contact (an Apple 'Air')......also
quite expensive.
I found out third hand much later that ALL the nutty 4AM texts about
the 'release' of my hostage computer were a joke.

She pawned it on day one.

The 'doormat' part is maintaining a reason to keep in contact.
Addicts know well that the only thing better than cash is a laptop
while standing in front of a pawnshop.

Summerpeach

She is sick, not a thief, and I've know many addicts, and they've never pawned anyone's stuff. I think the really desperate and sick ones may. Not functional ones with jobs

Anyway, she txt me to go get the pc, I went, I got it. She txt me an apology. I wished her well, we said our buh byes and that was it.

Vale

Glad it worked out.

I guess the addict I crossed paths with was
highly unusual in her predilection to pawn everything in sight
(from friends,family,and strangers).She was functional,had a
job,etc.

But I will stand corrected.You state that you have known many
addicts......I do not have such a large sample set of experiences to
draw from----only the one.