my dad has wet brain! please help.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 5
my dad has wet brain! please help.
Hi everyone, this is my first time on here. My dad was diagnosed with chronic wetbrain last october and has been in hospital ever since, doesnt know where eh lives, what year it is, has no short term memory whatsoever and is by no means able to look after himself yet He is due to be released at the end of the month but there is no help available for him as he is under 65 and doesnt meet criteria for pretty much any care. He has no idea he is even sick and i am 100% sure that once he gets out he is going to drink.... but then what??? I know it will kill him I just dont know how to stop it from happening.. He is only 45, Does anyone have any experience with this? what happens when somebody dies from this. Doctors dont seem to be able to answer and i have been searching for answers for almost a year now. Thanks for any light you can shed
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 8,326
hi Nickysgirl,
Welcome to SR. Sorry to hear about your dad. Is there a social service department at the hospital where your Dad is now? can you talk to someone there? they might be able to help you get a plan figured out. You could maybe check with the Emergency Room as well, they might have some referrals for you.
Was your dad ever in the military? the VA could help. You might call Alcoholics Anonymous in your area to see if they know of any services available, or the Salvation Army.
have the doctors declared your dad incompetent to handle his own affairs? you might want to look into legal aid.
im so sorry you have to go through this.
Love from Lenina
Welcome to SR. Sorry to hear about your dad. Is there a social service department at the hospital where your Dad is now? can you talk to someone there? they might be able to help you get a plan figured out. You could maybe check with the Emergency Room as well, they might have some referrals for you.
Was your dad ever in the military? the VA could help. You might call Alcoholics Anonymous in your area to see if they know of any services available, or the Salvation Army.
have the doctors declared your dad incompetent to handle his own affairs? you might want to look into legal aid.
im so sorry you have to go through this.
Love from Lenina
peaceful seabird
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
Welcome to the SR family!
I'm sorry about your dad.
I don't have much experience with alcoholic wet brain.
I do have experience with finding help for myself while my alcoholic loved one continued to spiral out of control.
I came here and started posting and reading about other's experiences. I started attending Alanon meetings for face-to-face support in my community. These steps helped me to find a better way of taking care of myself while giving the alcoholic the dignity to make their own choices too.
I learned about the 3 C's of my loved ones addiction:
I did not Cause it
I can not Control it
I could not Cure it
I hope you can learn to accept the three C's of your father's addiction. You did not cause him to make these choices. He made the choices that lead to his declined health. You didn't cause this.
Please keep reading, posting and sharing. We care about you!
I'm sorry about your dad.
I don't have much experience with alcoholic wet brain.
I do have experience with finding help for myself while my alcoholic loved one continued to spiral out of control.
I came here and started posting and reading about other's experiences. I started attending Alanon meetings for face-to-face support in my community. These steps helped me to find a better way of taking care of myself while giving the alcoholic the dignity to make their own choices too.
I learned about the 3 C's of my loved ones addiction:
I did not Cause it
I can not Control it
I could not Cure it
I hope you can learn to accept the three C's of your father's addiction. You did not cause him to make these choices. He made the choices that lead to his declined health. You didn't cause this.
Please keep reading, posting and sharing. We care about you!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 5
Thanks everyone. We live in ireland so it works differently here. I have tried everything possible to get him care and basically am just told hes too young your on your own. Rediculous... you have to be 65 in this country to get sick?? makes me so angry!! Again if anyone has any experience of end stage wet brain, however nasty i would be grateful. Would much rather know what im facing. Thanks again
To thine own self be true.
Join Date: May 2009
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 5,924
I am sorry, I have no experience with wet brain. Yet. I know someday I probably will, with my dad. I'm very sorry you are going through this; I am astounded by how young your dad is. (((hugs)))
Belgian Sheepdog Adictee
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In Today
Posts: 6,101
I am sorry you are having to go through this, but glad that you found us.
I am not positive, but I believe your hospitals in Ireland, just as our here in the States, have a patient social worker/advocate. See if the hospital he is in has one, and ask her/him to help or recommend what can be done for your dad.
If in fact they have diagnosed him with Wernicke-Korsakoff Syndrome, (wet brain) and how far advanced it is, there has to be something. Ask the social worker. If he has been declared far enough advanced that he is no longer competent to care for himself, there has to be some place (home) where he can be placed. Just as with advanced Alzheimer patients, they can no longer be on their own.
Sending good thoughts and prayers.
Love and hugs,
ps: I will do some searching and see what I can find for Ireland. I am certainly more familiar with the system here in the States, but I will do some research and searching and see what I can find for your country.
I am not positive, but I believe your hospitals in Ireland, just as our here in the States, have a patient social worker/advocate. See if the hospital he is in has one, and ask her/him to help or recommend what can be done for your dad.
If in fact they have diagnosed him with Wernicke-Korsakoff Syndrome, (wet brain) and how far advanced it is, there has to be something. Ask the social worker. If he has been declared far enough advanced that he is no longer competent to care for himself, there has to be some place (home) where he can be placed. Just as with advanced Alzheimer patients, they can no longer be on their own.
Sending good thoughts and prayers.
Love and hugs,
ps: I will do some searching and see what I can find for Ireland. I am certainly more familiar with the system here in the States, but I will do some research and searching and see what I can find for your country.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 5
thank you so much. He is in a very late stage with no chance of improvement. He is actually going down hill even without alcohol which apparently shouldnt happen?? and has been medically diagnosed with wernickes-korsakoff last year. Words the doctors have used to explain it is alcohol induced DIMENSIA/PHSYCHOSIS, that he has irreversable brain damage, Also his brain is shrunk and surrounded by water and still they just want to send him on his way with nothing in the lines of care, help, treatment. It just cant be right but its like talking to a wall 
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 3,443
I'm so sorry nickysgirl. What an awful lot for you to process. He is very young so I imagine you must be very young as well.
Where I live he may be eligible for institutionalized care in the state mental health hospital if his resulting psychosis is bad enough. Is that an avenue you have checked into?
No easy answers.
Do have support for yourself? You can do what you can (research services and hook him up with what is available) but there may not be services. You will have to let go because you really have no control over if he drinks again or not or how he chooses to live. Do you have al-anon in Ireland?
Keep reading here at SR. We care about you and want to support you in your personal journey in having a loved one with alcoholism.
Where I live he may be eligible for institutionalized care in the state mental health hospital if his resulting psychosis is bad enough. Is that an avenue you have checked into?
No easy answers.
Do have support for yourself? You can do what you can (research services and hook him up with what is available) but there may not be services. You will have to let go because you really have no control over if he drinks again or not or how he chooses to live. Do you have al-anon in Ireland?
Keep reading here at SR. We care about you and want to support you in your personal journey in having a loved one with alcoholism.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 1
My nephew had confusion that I thought was just the result of being drunk. He was diagnosed with cirrhosis on May 30 and died July 10. I live about 3 hours away and I wish I had contacted hospice when he was diagnosed and sent home from the hospital. He didn't have insurance of any kind or any public assistance. I should have contacted hospice and told them the situation and had someone sign him up for anything. I hope they have something for you in Ireland and my heart goes out to you. I am afraid that you are in for a dark journey. God bless.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: New Orleans, LA
Posts: 1
wet brain and other alcohol issues
Hi Nickysgirl,
I really feel for you and wanted to share what I learned after my boyfriend of 5 years died of cirrhosis. He had just turned 51 years old. When I met him, he told me that he was an alcoholic. I didn't understand what that meant, thinking that it meant that he drank too much, and that he could stop drinking if he really wanted to. What it actually meant was that he had a disease in which his liver processes alcohol differently from the way livers do in those who are not alcoholics. What it meant was that, by the time that I met him, he was probably already dying and would never be able to stop drinking unless he was forced to do so (in jail or committed indefinitely to a hospital). What it meant was that, although he would have liked to stop drinking, he could never choose to stop drinking. At that point, he drank to feel well, to maintain. Not drinking made him ill. In order to stop drinking even temporarily required hospitalization to prevent seizures and other symptoms occurring during detox. After he died, I needed to find out why, as a man who loved life so much, he wouldn't stop drinking despite being told that, if he didn't quit drinking, he would die in 6 months. I came across a book entitled, Under the Influence, and it answered my question. I learned that John's addiction to alcoholism was not a moral failing. The addiction was due to a convergence of genetic and environmental factors. Alcoholism is a disease which creeps up on those who don't realize that they have it, until it's usually too late. John's parents were 7th Day Adventists who didn't drink. He had no idea that he had the gene or genes which made him susceptible to the disease. Young alcoholics simply think that they can "hold their liquor." They don't get sick when they drink too much. They can drive with seeming impunity. Alcohol energizes them, while, at the same time, it is slowly destroying their livers, and will eventually alter their behavior, leading to the destruction of their personal and business relationships. The best advice that I can give you is to read the book, Under the Influence. It will change your view of what's going on with your father, and, even if that knowledge won't save his life, it will enable you to empathize with him as he deals with his disease and understand what's going on with him. If he's lucid and you are able to explain it to him, it may help him feel less shame about his inability to quit drinking and understand that he has a disease. I'm sure that John didn't know why he couldn't stop drinking - he just knew that he had to drink to feel ok, instead of the other way around. After you check out the book, please post what you thought of it. Hang in there!
I really feel for you and wanted to share what I learned after my boyfriend of 5 years died of cirrhosis. He had just turned 51 years old. When I met him, he told me that he was an alcoholic. I didn't understand what that meant, thinking that it meant that he drank too much, and that he could stop drinking if he really wanted to. What it actually meant was that he had a disease in which his liver processes alcohol differently from the way livers do in those who are not alcoholics. What it meant was that, by the time that I met him, he was probably already dying and would never be able to stop drinking unless he was forced to do so (in jail or committed indefinitely to a hospital). What it meant was that, although he would have liked to stop drinking, he could never choose to stop drinking. At that point, he drank to feel well, to maintain. Not drinking made him ill. In order to stop drinking even temporarily required hospitalization to prevent seizures and other symptoms occurring during detox. After he died, I needed to find out why, as a man who loved life so much, he wouldn't stop drinking despite being told that, if he didn't quit drinking, he would die in 6 months. I came across a book entitled, Under the Influence, and it answered my question. I learned that John's addiction to alcoholism was not a moral failing. The addiction was due to a convergence of genetic and environmental factors. Alcoholism is a disease which creeps up on those who don't realize that they have it, until it's usually too late. John's parents were 7th Day Adventists who didn't drink. He had no idea that he had the gene or genes which made him susceptible to the disease. Young alcoholics simply think that they can "hold their liquor." They don't get sick when they drink too much. They can drive with seeming impunity. Alcohol energizes them, while, at the same time, it is slowly destroying their livers, and will eventually alter their behavior, leading to the destruction of their personal and business relationships. The best advice that I can give you is to read the book, Under the Influence. It will change your view of what's going on with your father, and, even if that knowledge won't save his life, it will enable you to empathize with him as he deals with his disease and understand what's going on with him. If he's lucid and you are able to explain it to him, it may help him feel less shame about his inability to quit drinking and understand that he has a disease. I'm sure that John didn't know why he couldn't stop drinking - he just knew that he had to drink to feel ok, instead of the other way around. After you check out the book, please post what you thought of it. Hang in there!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: west coast
Posts: 1,068
Sending you prayers.
Good advice to meet with social worker while he is in the hospital. Find out what their discharge recommendations are.
I don't know where you live, but I have heard there are free detox facilities (don't know if these may be county or city . . .) there are also churches that do alcoholism ministries - just start calling around and ask for help . . .
Good luck to you and take your vitamins and take good care of yourself.
Good advice to meet with social worker while he is in the hospital. Find out what their discharge recommendations are.
I don't know where you live, but I have heard there are free detox facilities (don't know if these may be county or city . . .) there are also churches that do alcoholism ministries - just start calling around and ask for help . . .
Good luck to you and take your vitamins and take good care of yourself.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 104
Hello and sorry to hear about your father
I follow a lot of naturopathic medicine protocols for some physical issues I have and it helps. Has the doctors discussed what your father should eat in order to halt this disease? This comes on from severe malnutrition and vitamin B1 deficiency. Please ask the doctors about this. Also here are some foods with high B1 content:
Top 10 Foods Highest in Thiamin (Vitamin B1)
Again I am sorry this is happening - please take care of yourself.
I follow a lot of naturopathic medicine protocols for some physical issues I have and it helps. Has the doctors discussed what your father should eat in order to halt this disease? This comes on from severe malnutrition and vitamin B1 deficiency. Please ask the doctors about this. Also here are some foods with high B1 content:
Top 10 Foods Highest in Thiamin (Vitamin B1)
Again I am sorry this is happening - please take care of yourself.
Let Go or Be Dragged
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 44
Welcome to you and Im so very sorry for what u are going thru. I understand your pain. I watched my Dad go thru many alcohol related medical issues from TIAs to full blown strokes, to enlarged heart, to disabling gout, to numerous near death DT's while being hospitalized following surgery for colon cancer. He drank himself to the grave and NOTHING I tried to do stopped it. I loved him and clung to him as he died in the ER following a stoke. He smelled of alcohol. I dont mean to sound cold - but the best thing u can do for your Dad rite now is to take very good care of yourself. Hugs and prayers for you and your Dad. We are all here for you...keep posting.
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