Curtis

Hello, my name is Curtis, and this morning I decided I needed to stop drinking before it totally ruins my life. I'm just so tired of waking up feeling awful, and guilty. I just want back those days when I would embrace the new morning and everything the day had to offer. I feel really bad right now- want a drink- and the sides of my head feel kinda fuzzy and achey and stuff. I also have issues with bulimia and self injury (yeah, I'm pretty crazy, I know..), but I'd rather binge, purge and/or cut any day if I didn't have to deal with the booze. I just gotta get through today. Thanks for reading, and I wish you all well in sobriety. You inspire me.

DisplacedGRITS

Welcome Curtis. I suffer from bulimia as well. I'm 4 months sober today and i'll tell you the first couple of weeks are the roughest but you have to knuckle down and power through them. Concentrate on staying sober hour by hour and day by day. Don't worry about the long term. As long as you stay sober today you'll be fine. Have you seen your doctor? Are you seeing a therapist? Are you considering AA or another 12 step program? These are all things that many members of the boards here have done and found helpful. It took me a while to walk through the doors of AA but when i did and committed myself to the meetings and the program i found that it worked for me. I hope you find the support and advice to get and stay sober here.

CarolD

Welcome...

This really can be your last de tox...and I too think seeing your
doctor about how best to proceed is a wise idea...

Curtis

Yeah, I go to therapy, and my therapist has suggested I talk to my doc, or a psycharitist about meds for depression and anxiety. Thanks for the kind words.

Curtis

yeah, I just feel so embarrased telling my doc all this stuff. I've been seeing him since highschool, before all of these problems, and now I just feel like my life is getting more and more out of control.

hypochondriac

Just binge Curtis, we all end up doing that a bit when getting sober. I'm a self harmer and an alcoholic, and although I hadn't cut for 13 years it was the first thing I wanted to do when I quit drinking. These things require a lot of effort to break free from. I hope you find the help that you need and that you feel better soon x

Welcome to SR x

DisplacedGRITS

Don't worry about coming clean to your doc. He/she'll be proud of you for making the decision to turn your life around and glad to be a part of it. Getting with a psych is a great idea. I'm on a few mood stabilizers and they've helped a great deal. Use all the tools you can. They're there for a reason.

Hevyn

Hi Curtis! Good for you for reaching out for help. You'll find plenty of it here - we all understand what you're going through. It feels good not to be alone anymore.

I wish I'd done what you are, before I became totally dependent on alcohol. You'll never regret reclaiming your life and health. We're with you - and want to help. Congratulations on making this important, life-changing decision.

Curtis

Thank you for all your kind words. I work as a firefighter and paramedic and I KNOW that all the bad stuff from drugs and alcohol are real and affect real people. Just last week I saw, and had to try and keep alive a male under 30 who had passed out at home, had the veins in his esophogus rupture and bleed into his stomach until he vomited up the bloody food mixture and which promptly went into his lungs. So young. So much potential killed. Bad news for the whole family. Addiction will get you and try to hang on until it kills you. I see it all the time- Ironicly, I still crave the booze. :-(

sugarbear1

Some of my friends in AA are doctors who love(d) to drink or do other "things."

Come clean with your doctor and be truthful. It's nothing s/he hasn't heard before. I'm sure they'll be happy to help you out.

Hugs,

Curtis

True. We are all human, after all.

artsoul

Welcome Curtis!

It's really hard to do this without support, so I'm glad you've decided to join us! There were times in those first couple days when I had to stay sober one minute at a time - I stayed on this forum and just kept reading. It really helped.....

It gets easier over time and you really will get those mornings back!

Curtis

Thank you, Artsoul. I feel very welcomed here.

Inca

Welcome! This place is awesome and you'll find so many kind people on this site that understand exactly where you're coming from. Post often!

Dee74

Welcome to SR Curtis

D