soberbrooke

I just posted about going to one of my old hangouts on July 4th.

What I just realized is something else.

Yesterday when I called my sponsor, I knew tat I was going to go to that bar, I knew what her response was going to be. Yet, I went anyway. I even posted on here about going before I went just to get yalls replies. I already knew that I was going to go, so why did I do all of those preparations before?

Was it to just tell everyone I am going?
Was it to listen? I don't think so, because I didn't listen to anyone.
Was it to feel ok about going??

I am so confused about alcoholism right now. I do not want to drink, I know I won't drink today, but these roller coaster of emotions are driving me crazy. I am sitting in my new duplex, typing on the internet to people I don't even know, missing my kids, missing the fun I use to have.....

I have been invited to go out with the girl I went to the bar with yesterday, they are all going out on the lake today, and I am feeling that I need to get to a meeting.

I am going to be that boring mom that I have been worried about, aren't I??

I am trying to do this right, am I??

I can be so positive one day, and then sink into the lowest levels of confusion and depression in a second, that's all it takes, in one second I can sink.

I guess I am going to the noon meeting....... I need some clarity.

wow04

Was it to just tell everyone I am going?
Was it to listen? I don't think so, because I didn't listen to anyone.
Was it to feel ok about going??

You were reaching out. You might have known you were going, but you still wanted people to tell you that you shouldn't. I did the same thing early in recovery. Looking back I wanted to know people cared about me being sober.

I have been invited to go out with the girl I went to the bar with yesterday, they are all going out on the lake today, and I am feeling that I need to get to a meeting.

Then you need to go to a meeting. Don't ignore those feelings

I am going to be that boring mom that I have been worried about, aren't I??

No way! I am such a better mom sober. We have fun now. I get to enjoy all the little things with my kids.

IndaMiricale

Thats great that you will hit the meeting. Works for me gets me out of my own head.

Stay on the beam, and do the next right thing. Best wishes.

Sapling

No you're not...Right now it may seem like that...You are working on your recovery...I hope. It about going to any lengths right now....I hope you are putting as much time into step work as you are here soberbrooke....That has to be what you work on right now...When you have done 1 through 9 and you are living in 10 through 12...Those things promised in the book will happen...If you work it...When they say...It works if you work it...There is a reason for that. It's truth...You want to be able to enjoy the wonderful things that book tells you that you can have....Work the program of recovery...That's as simple as I can make it. The program of recovery...Is the 12 steps. You know what I do when I need to go to a meeting?...I go to a meeting.