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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 216
Checking in
Hi to all my FF family: (esp TJP613-just read "feel like I'm dying post)
Been off the board awhile, moved to a new place and now it's time to come back "home" to the board.
It's been quite a whirl wind with moving, cutting apron strings and finding lots of time alone to be with myself (hardest part). I'm still dealing with my adult children, but less frequently. One of my AS came over yesterday to wash clothes and for the second time, I had to take the wet clothes out of the washer and send him on his way. I don't know if it's drug addiction behavior or mental illness. All I know is, I am not going to be the one to save him. Hurts down to the core to do this, but now that I have had some semblance of peace, I just can't go there anymore. I had a few friends over for a simple July 4th dinner and after he left, I just broke down and cried. They all know my situation, so I felt comfortable to sit with them while I cried over all the dreams that I must let go of, concerning my adult children. It's kinda hard when thier children are all married and are functioning, but they understand.
TJP- I know exactly how you feel when you see young children that reminds you of what used to be! I can't even go to church without crying when I see young adults with their children and realize that my two adult sons cannot even manage to have 1 friend, much less have their own family.
My other 2 adult daughters have one child a piece, but I don't get to see them much anymore because of thier lifestyles keep them away from me. I made it quite clear to all when I sold my home and moved that I if they could not come visit without being high, stay away. I guess it's a blessing in a way, but to think out of 4 children, none would escape the darkness of addiction.
The holidays are also difficult, because families gather and I just can't go around that sort of thing right now. But truth be known, they were difficult in the recent past when my adult children were around because it would hit me full force (once again) how dysfunctional everyone was, including me!
Starting over with boundaries is so new and alien to me. I am lonely at night, but I sooth myself by remembering the prison I was living in. I have started going places with friends and trying to recover from what I feel like has been front line war action. I have a lot more time to read on codependency issues and work on myself (and all my codie issues).
Big huggs to all (esp you Moms)..
Hope
Been off the board awhile, moved to a new place and now it's time to come back "home" to the board.
It's been quite a whirl wind with moving, cutting apron strings and finding lots of time alone to be with myself (hardest part). I'm still dealing with my adult children, but less frequently. One of my AS came over yesterday to wash clothes and for the second time, I had to take the wet clothes out of the washer and send him on his way. I don't know if it's drug addiction behavior or mental illness. All I know is, I am not going to be the one to save him. Hurts down to the core to do this, but now that I have had some semblance of peace, I just can't go there anymore. I had a few friends over for a simple July 4th dinner and after he left, I just broke down and cried. They all know my situation, so I felt comfortable to sit with them while I cried over all the dreams that I must let go of, concerning my adult children. It's kinda hard when thier children are all married and are functioning, but they understand.
TJP- I know exactly how you feel when you see young children that reminds you of what used to be! I can't even go to church without crying when I see young adults with their children and realize that my two adult sons cannot even manage to have 1 friend, much less have their own family.
My other 2 adult daughters have one child a piece, but I don't get to see them much anymore because of thier lifestyles keep them away from me. I made it quite clear to all when I sold my home and moved that I if they could not come visit without being high, stay away. I guess it's a blessing in a way, but to think out of 4 children, none would escape the darkness of addiction.
The holidays are also difficult, because families gather and I just can't go around that sort of thing right now. But truth be known, they were difficult in the recent past when my adult children were around because it would hit me full force (once again) how dysfunctional everyone was, including me!
Starting over with boundaries is so new and alien to me. I am lonely at night, but I sooth myself by remembering the prison I was living in. I have started going places with friends and trying to recover from what I feel like has been front line war action. I have a lot more time to read on codependency issues and work on myself (and all my codie issues).
Big huggs to all (esp you Moms)..
Hope
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
Hope
Good to hear from you again! It sounds like you are doing generally pretty good! Glad to hear that you are doing things with friends and settling in.
It's nice to be out of chaosville and living a peaceful life, isn't it?
gentle hugs
ke
Good to hear from you again! It sounds like you are doing generally pretty good! Glad to hear that you are doing things with friends and settling in.
It's nice to be out of chaosville and living a peaceful life, isn't it?
gentle hugs
ke
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 213
welcome back,
I know the serenity you are talking about I had it for about 5 weeks, you go girl , you deserve peace and serenity . I used to sit and wonder and look at other families and we think why cant my son be like them , but hes not, that does not mean that he or any other addict out there wont find there happiness one day , take care and hugs
I know the serenity you are talking about I had it for about 5 weeks, you go girl , you deserve peace and serenity . I used to sit and wonder and look at other families and we think why cant my son be like them , but hes not, that does not mean that he or any other addict out there wont find there happiness one day , take care and hugs
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Land of Cotton
Posts: 3,433
SO good to hear from you, Hope! I've been wondering how things were going. My house is pretty quiet these last couple of days, too. I almost hate to admit that I'm enjoying it. Daughter is out learning some painful lessons that she needs to learn and my son is, too. I had a rough day or two but I'm on the mend. Sounds like you are, too. It takes awhile, especially when we've been thru so much...to suddenly have peace in our living space...it's awkward. But then you wouldn't have it any other way...and we deserve peace in our old age...LOL! I FEEL old that's for sure. Hope that will get better, too.
So, tell me...how's the house? If I remember correctly it sounded as though it was situated perfectly. And your kids?...I assume they all managed to find a place to lay their heads at night? Funny how they do manage when push comes to shove.
Please don't be a stranger now that the dust has settled. Keep us posted, ok? ((((Hugs))))
So, tell me...how's the house? If I remember correctly it sounded as though it was situated perfectly. And your kids?...I assume they all managed to find a place to lay their heads at night? Funny how they do manage when push comes to shove.
Please don't be a stranger now that the dust has settled. Keep us posted, ok? ((((Hugs))))
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