aeo1313

I always thought my husband acted the same drunk and sober (even wrote that here before). Well, I must have always been drunk as well, bc he is so annoying tonight.

He isn't an alcoholic, I don't think, but he does like to drink. We go on vaca next week and he usually spends most of the time at the lake with a drink in his hand.

This sucks

Sapling

I know they are aeo...I spent most of my life drunk.

aeo1313

I was always drunk at social gatherings. People must have thought this of me. Hubby and I will need to talk tomorrow.

Sapling

I used to annoy myself.

aeo1313

I'm getting the kids to bed and he is out introducing himself to new neighbors. Wow- it's different on this side of things.

Sapling

Lol

aeo1313

I'm not laughing though. I'm mad and getting madder. Why am I so mad? He hasn't done anything. He never got mad at me ever for drinking.

Sapling

I'll bet he had a boatload of chances.

DisplacedGRITS

Some people can hold their liquor ok and not irritate me while their drunk and then there's the other half. When i was at the party last night there were plenty of drinks and no one got on my nerves until the argument occured. Arguing drunk people pretending to be sober just drive me nuts. I'm just glad they were strangers so i wasn't involved at all. All this also makes me so grateful to be in complete control of my mind and body. It's a great relief.

aeo1313

Ok- I am in my head...Sapling, you are outside my head...what is going on? Please share with me what you think...

Sapling

Cut him some slack...It's the fourth...Even earth people deserve a chance to cut loose now and then...Just because we can't.....You know what I mean?...If it wasn't the fourth you and I would be drunk because it was Wednesday.

DisplacedGRITS

It sounds like it's an issue or at least becoming one. Perhaps he would be willing to cut back a little for you or at least while you're in early recovery? If my husband was getting drunk around me and leaving "sober duties" like putting the kids to bed while he lolligaged around meeting the new neighbors i'd feel quite put out. I know that's me putting my feelings on you but i'm just sayin'. Perhaps your anger is justified. Sit down with yourself and think about what you really want from him on your path of sobriety. Like it or not, he's a partner in that path as well. He has a part to play. Y'all just have to figure out where he fits in. If he doesn't want any part of it, then that's his part but then at least it's clear.

aeo1313

I haven't prayed in quite a while. Maybe it's time bc my head is chattering and yapping at me.

Sapling

It's always a good time for that aeo.

DisplacedGRITS

When i first started out i thought i would eventually get sick of the Serenity Prayer. Lol....darn thing just keeps getting better every time i say it. So funny that a prayer i've known since my childhood could suddenly hold so much power over my life. Amazing thing.

aeo1313

He came home at 2:30 am last weekend drunk. Maybe his drinking has increased this year and I've been too into my pill popping to notice. I just don't see our conversation going well.

Sapling

Pray tonight...Talk tomorrow,

jstar

You may be on to something aeo....mine started ignoring me, distancing himself both physically and mentally from me as my drinking progressed. I was too busy drinking all the time to realize I had been hurting him with my behavior. Also mine did the opposite with drinking...he hardly ever drank but cut it out completely as my drinking progressed. I guess I drank enough for us both...

Try to be a little understanding...we put them through the ringer, then we start to feel better & automatically think they should be 100% on our side. For me, I think I have to "earn" that back...

MrsKing

Argh, I totally understand how you're feeling. I have no issue with my husband or my friends drinking - in fact, I think that if they want to have fun, why shouldn't they? They don't go overboard and they drink rarely. So once in a while, why not? And at the beginning, when they're all just in that chatty and excited mood, it's all good. I feel fine. It's when they start going on and on and on about the same things, as though it's THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN THE WORLD, that I start getting irritable. I know that I was exactly the same when I was drunk, and I probably annoyed SO, SO, SO many people. But it's annoying nonetheless! Also, it always gets to that point where those who are drunk start talking about me not drinking - saying "oh, I'm so proud of you," which isn't actually so bad, it's just the ADVICE they try and give, and stuff like that. I don't mind so much when it's my husband, because he knows me and I am comfortable with him having an opinion on how I should live my life etc, etc, but when it's people who I don't really know all too well, I can't handle it. It's always after they've had LOTS to drink and I just find it so... I don't know, patronising.

But yeah. I try not to actually show my annoyance. They're not ever half as drunk as I used to get, and if they can handle their alcohol and enjoy it once in a while, I don't really feel as though I have a right to get annoyed just because they're drunk.

soberbrooke

I had to leave my relationship because of that. I forget what movie this was from, but Will - the guy from Elf was in it and he was an alcoholic that had been kicked out of his house and was living in his front yard.
His sponsor said in it that how many people in a relationship survive when only one of them get sober? The answer was 0.

Just keep focusing on yourself, and I didn't go ANYWHERE where I knew alcohol was going to be. Being sober this time was more important to me than going anywhere that I might be tempted.

I had to change my friends, places and environments for it to work for me. It is MY life, and i don't care what anyone else does or says about MY life. It was a biggie for me to hear "It is none of my business what others think of my life."

I just went to a place on the lake yesterday for the first time in my 6 months to be a little social with another friend in the program. We went to Wolfies, it was an old drinking place I use to frequent. I kept my guard up, and had a great time. I only stayed an hour, but I know that I can't do that often. One day if my guard is not up, or if my spirituality is not strong, then I will give in and take that first drink.

I can't do it often, right now in early sobriety, but I will be able to do that one day. I went from the party animal mom to a dud. However, I know that I will be a great mom soon, and my kids will start to look at me as a responsible mom.

I am thinking now, that if I do get invited to go places like that, I am going to have people around me that have more sobriety than me. I think that will work for me, if I do end up going like yesterday.

All I do know is that I really want this sobriety for myself and my life. Alcohol has been so cunning, baffling and powerful to me that I just can't take a step that will lead me down that path again. I have got to keep my guard up and keep my sobriety in the front of my mind.