jennikate

So I'm on day 40 sober. And everything has been going pretty well so far. But....today I am feeling super irritable. Everything my husband does or says is hitting me like nails on a chalkboard. I am trying to relax and go with the flow but it's not working.
I haven't been to a meeting since Monday (I usually go to one or two a day) for reasons beyond my control and i think that is contributing. I plan to go to a meeting tomorrow at 7:30 a.m. I think that will help.
I think that maybe I did too much in the last day or so. Oddly, I would have described it as the best day in a long time. I went to breakfast with my best friend who I haven't really reconnected with in a while. Then got a pedi with my daughter. Then coffee with another friend. Last, I went over to some former drinking buddy's house (they didn't drink with me there). Maybe too much social time.
Something I need to work on- giving myself down time and learning to say no.

sugarbear1

xa-speakers.org has speaker meetings recorded. Today, we're a few clicks away from a meeting! Also search for online meetings, they do exist! aa online chatroom has scheduled meetings regularly!

Hugs,

Sapling

I'm sure it will...Here are the two sites sugarbear mentioned if you are ever in a jam.

AAOnline.net--Realtime Open AA Meetings on the Internet

XA-Speakers - The lights are on!

fairenough

Congrats on 40 days. And I do understand the mood swings/irritability. Been there a whole lot lately. I hear it will pass. After ask, we're actually dealing with life these days. I'm not sure what I'd call before. Even between days I drank, although I thought I was sober, I now see my mind wasn't coping with things too well. Takes time. Hope you find something online, like mentioned above, and have a good mtg tmw.

jennikate

Thanks! I had that link to xa but didn't really understand what it was. Seems like a really valuable resource when I'm feeling down/anxious/irritable. I'm gonna go listen to one now. Any recommendations for a particularly good one? Also will check out the other link tonight or in the morning.

Sapling

It's a great site....Here is another one...Not just for speakers...But for all kinds of cool AA stuff.

Welcome to Silkworth.net -Alcoholics Anonymous . . . experience the history . . . lest we forget!

CarolD

Prayer helps me keep in emotional balance....
You can't wear out the Serenity Prayer ..just for starters.

Also...be aware of HALT. Don't allow yourself to become overly
Hungry AAngry Lonely or Tired.

Good to know your progress continues...

Sapling

Recommendations...

Chuck C.
Clancy I.
Paul L.
Don C.
Clarence S.
Sandy B.

Tons of them.

neferkamichael

Jennikate, 40 days? You are FANTASTIC. Congratulations.

Steve07

Congrats on 40 days. Look at finding some time to be low key and recharge your battery and see if that doesn't help.

jennikate

Thanks fairenough! I was always on the moody side...I guess I was hoping that that wouldn't reemerge. Crazy thought, huh? I'm probably more likely to be that way at this point in my recovery.
I also have a hard time letting things go. Something that is mildly annoying to others will make me angry for a looong time. Like hours. I can't seem to get unstuck, iykwim.

jennikate

Hi all,

Thanks for all the encouragement and support. This is an amazing site filled with amazing and inspirational people. I have bookmarked all of the suggestions and will check them out tomorrow.

I feel better already; having gotten some of this off my chest. I need to keep telling myself that these feelings are normal. My dh hates emotion and implies that I am abnormal for getting angry, anxious, sad, etc. My mom was the same way.

Note to self: It's ok to feel. Numbing feelings with alcohol is not a good or healthy choice. I will acknowledge my feelings not stuff them down.

Thanks again- you are all the best. It's nice to know that you can count on someone to listen and give support and suggestions.

Sapling

It's all in the solution. You want what those promises promise?...Work the steps. That is the program of recovery. A new freedom and a new happiness....That's what I'm talking about. Notice the word new.

fairenough

What? You mean you married your mom, just like I did? Lol, just joking. My ex-dh sounds like yours. And my mom. I used to joke that instead of marrying a guy like dad, I picked one like mom. You keep up the good work! This, too, shall pass.

Sapling

Bookmark that....That's probably the wisest thing I'll hear all day.

soberbrooke

I have 6 months of sobriety, have been numbing my feelings since I was 15, now I am 42. I don't even know what I am feeling more than half the time. Am I happy? Am I sad? Am I frustrated? I almost need a list of emotions with me to figure them out sometimes. I am numb to feeling the feelings!

I am in the right place though. I am suppose to be feeling this way. I will get in touch with them one day. My mood swings have already started to diminish in intensity, and I don't really feel like I am "lying" about my feelings anymore. I am talking in my meetings about this.
I have lied about my feelings for so long, that it became a habit. Right now I just go into a meeting and say I am not sure how I feel right now. I don't know if I am happy or sad, etc....
I feel relieved that I am not having to deal with my ex's problems anymore though. I know that feeling and I am aware of it!!