ChasingJme03

So I am on Day 2 after relapsing one day after five days of sobriety. I am terrified of July 4th, especially because my roommates are throwing a party at my house all day Is there any tips or tricks that people use to get through the holidays. Thanks so much.

aeo1313

Is there any other place you can go that day? A house party at 3 days sober would be difficult.

duane1

I started my sobriety on a 4 day weekend. I just made it be known that I was the one drinking water. Amazing how fast people can come around to this idea when they realize they have a possible designated driver.
Once I settled in my mind that I had drank my last drink, it didn't matter if it was a holiday or not. Before I settled that, holidays, weekends or just about any day became a reason to drink.

Dee74

Hi Jme

we don't have the 4th in this country but I've been here on SR in previous years - there's always a lot of other people around...

And although this is written for Thanksgiving there's some really good ideas in this link too:
Crying Out Now: Thanksgiving Survival Guide

you can do this
D

ChasingJme03

Thanks Dee!

Galita

I'm sorry .. Sound like my Abf ... You can make it ... Find somebody you can trust and hang out that day ... Good luck..

DisplacedGRITS

I keep a wide variety of nonalcoholic drinks on ice at all times. Sparkling juices, mineral water, crazy specialty sodas i find at Whole Foods and would normally never indulge in, water, water, water. Have you confided in anyone who's going to be there about your decision to stay sober? Maybe have an accountability buddy. Someone who knows you're not going to drink and can be supportive of you. Remember, if worst comes to worst it's ok to remove yourself from a stressful situation. Your sobriety is the most important thing. A simple "sorry, i'm not feeling very well" is true enough and can get you the reprieve you may need. Take care of yourself first. Don't worry about what others may think. They'll be too busy to give your absence a second thought if you need some alone time.

ChasingJme03

My roommates know I am trying to be sober now but they also dont know how deep the problem is and always try to get me to have a beer with them on the weekends and whatnot. We are having a BIG party tomorrow as I live in a house that are mid-twenties and plan on buying lots of fruity drinks and whatnot. They are making me virgin jello shots which is nice of them but I have a feeling they will try to pressure me. Sitting in my room the whole day does not sound like a social thing to do but might be what is needed at the time.

CAGED04

i can tell you this i had a bbq sat at my house for our fourth cause we always go to the outings on the 4th anyway a couple people was drinking and it was so hot like 104 i was offered so many drinks,that i declined about 4ish i had no desire and was glad i was drinking water long story short no hangover or dehydration and i still had a blast just an experience i had

pauladmits

I'm the last person who should be giving advice but one thing I've noticed is that when I have doubts about something 9 out of 10 times I end up breaking down and drinking. It's like these doubts are setting yourself up for failure. Tell yourself you aren't going to drink and take it head on. Tell your friends you aren't drinking this weekend and prove to them you mean what you say! It will make you feel really empowered if you take it on with confidence. And just imagine how you will feel in the morning while your friends are picking themselves up to get coffee and cure their hangovers!!

Amy2011

I partied in my 20's and 30's. I was the queen of bbq's and house parties, which were really just excuses for me to drink. When I decided to stop drinking I stopped going to parties and I stopped throwing them. Was I bored at first? Absolutely because drinking was my main hobby and pasttime. I knew I wanted to be sober more than I wanted to drink. I also knew I could not be around alcohol and partying in early sobriety, so I stayed away. I suggest you find something else to do or somewhere else to go. Why make yourself uncomfortable early sobriety is already hard enough. Recovery is work and isn't always fun, but I can look at myself in the morning without feelings of guilt, shame, embarrassement, and remorse. Nothing changes if nothing changes. Good luck.

ACT10Npack

Go to a different place for 4th of July that does not involve alcohol. You could go to the movies and see 3 to 4 movies.

Stevie1

That's sweet that your roomies are making you virgin Jello shots. Can you impress on them that you're very determined to stay sober for that one day and ask for their undivided support? Feeling accountable to others will help. Leaving the house and doing something else sober would be good too.

lillyknitting

Can't u stay with someone on thT day who doesn't drink, do anything but don't hang around the party it would hellish for me, good luck, stay strong

Lenina

chasingJ,

can you plan a bolt hole just in case it gets to be too much? maybe making ice runs or just slipping out to a coffee shop or safe place? I find it helpful to carry my own glass with iced and iced tea or other non alcohol drink. maybe make a water bottle with flavored powdered mix? That way you have Somethng in your hand at all times. as one of the hostesses, maybe you can stay busy with pick up and keeping the buffet area tidy and replenished.

can you use your phone to check in with SR from time to time during the party?

Love from Lenina

ChasingJme03

I plan on making trips to SR throughout the day on my laptop. Just call me social J.

ImagineMe

I agree with not being around on that date. Your sobriety should come first and if you are ready and willing, you will do whatever it takes to keep yourself out of danger.
Can't wait to hear what you do for the 4th and see how you overcome this. You can do it.

jennikate

I am 39 days sober and there is nothing in this world that would get me to a party such as you are describing. I remember too well that kind of scene. I know I would start feeling sorry for myself, why can't I be normal?, one won't hurt, etc. I would go anywhere else instead; the mall, hiking, the movies, someone else's house, the beach, dog park, AA meeting or Alkathon etc. As for the virgin jello shots, that is considerate of your friends but....it's kinda like drinking non-alcoholic beer. I don't miss the taste as much as the effect.

Anyway, that's JMHO. I know I could not handle it at this point. If you can, that's great. I wish you the best.

Jennikate

GiGi13

Keep reading your own tag line by "author unknown"... and remember how it feels to wake up in that veritable fog feeling like poop! You dont need it to be a holiday or special occasion for the urge of drinking to eat away at you...we as a people just automatically associate holidays with drinking.... you can thank the alcohol companies for that one!!... stick to water, or juices..whatever you prefer..and then just sit back..have a good time and laugh at everyone.. however stupid they act..just remember...thats the type of person you USED to be..but your better than that now...

stay strong, stay sober, keep the faith! i believe in you!!

Notmyrealname

My tip is not hanging out with drunk people and plentiful free booze. Sort of like my tip for quitting drugs: don't hang out with drug users and drug dealers.

If you don't have friends who are either sober or understanding enough to not drink when they are with you, you might want to add some new friends to the rolodex, or get into online gaming, like an MMO or something, it's kind of a friend substitute in that you get socializing with other people but without the stress of having to um . . shower, or um . . wear clean clothes (or any clothes at all, I suppose).

But it depends. I think I can hang out with people who are drinking with no issues. I don't, generally, because an ounce of prevention is much better than ten pounds of the cure, but I think it'd go fine. The thought of drinking again scares me, makes me a bit ill, and I don't think I could take the five-fingered death punch to my self-esteem that drinking again would be. Yuck.

Babbling, must be the dark chocolate taking hold. Good luck today! Make sure you have an exit strategy, the going-to-a-movie idea was pretty good. Drink a lot of water, too, keep well-fed. Hell, I'd splurge a little on food, have a decadent meal or something to reward yourself for keeping it on the straight-and-narrow. Any excuse for surf and turf is a good one!

PS in my house we simply call "virgin" jello shots "jello"
usually serve it in a bowl