Boo314

As stated in the title, my boyfriend and father of my 9 month old daughter has recently admitted an addiction to pain killers, oxy and basically any drug put in front of him. We've been together 3+ years and the fIrst year and a half we were in and off, his doing. Prior to that we had been friends/best friends for 6 years. I did come recreationally and drank as did he for the first year and a half. I always had the ability to use drugs recreationally and nothIng more. He admitted to me numerous times he had a drug problem and I told him I would support him and do anything he needed to help him through this rough time. I kept thinking it was over but learned 7 months into my pregnancy it was never over and he spent most of his money on oxy. I did everything I could and continue to to keep us aflOat. He's said multiple times he's done, doesn't want to live this way and our daughter and I are what's important. His actions have said something else. We are now moving out of our home and in with his mother to catc up on our finances because I can't take care of us an he makes twice what I make. He's made vast improvements and has been taking suboxen for the last couPle of months to help with withdrawals. That's the short version. I'm looking for guidance and advice fm ppl in similar situations as. I don't know what it's like to be addicted to something and all I do is nag him for his behavior and lack of being here with his family. I grew uP the second I fond out I was pregnant and did a whole 180 on my lifestyle, he didn't and it constantly hurts. I'm not interested in someone telling me to leave because I won't, I'm in it for the ling haul and need to know how to be supportive in this.

Jody675

although i have not been in your position, you have come to the right place for support and advise. the only i can offer you, is to do what is right for you and your daughter for you can't help your partner until he wants it. many more people will be able to share with you with what they have gone through while in your situation, and there are many posts here already about exactly this.

good luck and i wish the best for you and your daughter and hope your partner finds the want to get into recovery.

EnglishGarden

A good start is going to Al-Anon or Nar-Anon at least once a week, even if it's boring to you, even if you think no one there is like you, even if you think you don't need it. Get your butt to a meeting every week, if you want to help your addict. Bring home doubles of all the pamphlets there, and you and his mother sit down and read every single word of them. Every day.

One of the first things you'll learn in your recovery is to stop nagging the addict.

It's good you will be living with his mother, as you do need help with the baby; it will be good for the baby as long as the grandmother is not a substance abuser. She will look after the baby, you will go to Al-Anon. That is what you can do to help your addict.

Farfalla

I lived in active addiction with my qualifier who is my husband for 20 years. Addiction is a progressive disease. It can only be arrested not cured. As a mother, my primary role is to make sure my children are safe. I left my home with the clothes on my back and my kids because living in active addiction was toxic. As a mother, you must put your children first. It isn't easy but necessary.