tpoint

The bad news is that I’ve been trying to quit drinking for a year and half now.

The good news is that today, I am nearly 30 days sober and after several failed attempts at quitting, my latest attempt feels like I may be on the way to finally defeating this awful disease, although I am desperate not to become complacent in any way.

Since my first post all those months ago I’ve tried quite a few things to get sober, like counselling, set drinking rules (e.g. only drink at weekends) and AA. AA was kind of my last hope but unfortunately didn’t work for me. Being the youngest at the group didn’t help, and I hate the thought of being tarnished with being an alcoholic for the rest of my life, even though I am one.

So what has worked for me to get me to one month (almost) sober, which will be my longest bout of sobriety in over 10 years! Reaching rock bottom seems to be a major factor - it now seems that every time I drink it ends in a massive drinking binge, blackouts have become the norm every time I drink. I’ve actually felt close to death after many drinking binges, not because I am suicidal but it’s like my mind & body is crying out for me to stop this hell before I kill myself.

In the last 30 days I’ve been trying to force my brain to change the way I think. Before I was always fearful about quitting because of what I was missing out on: the lifestyle change, the great nights & friends I would miss out on if I didn’t drink. Now I feel almost exhilarated about the benefits of life without booze: increased self-respect, happiness, health, well-being and no more terrible hangovers or brain fog.

Thank you to every one posting on this forum, you’ve all been a massive help and inspiration – I’ve been reading daily in the last 30 days and hope to continue to post in the future to aid my recovery. To anyone in the early stages of sobriety please DO NOT give up or lose faith, you’ve already made a huge step by identifying that you have a problem and are making steps to address your problem – please keep on going, we can beat this awful disease together.

Dee74

congrats on 30 day tpoint

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Notmyrealname

You've been trying to quit for a year and a half? That's GREAT news! And you have almost thirty sober days in a row? That's even BETTER news! Means all that hard work you put in over the past year and a half is finally paying off

Congratulations!

artsoul

Congratulations, tpoint! Glad you're already experiencing some of the positive results of getting sober - lots more to come!!

freshstart57

Congratulations, TPoint, I love that. Like you, I changed my thinking about drinking by thinking about it, by being mindful of I wanted to happen, and imagining the life I wanted. It is a great feeling of power, of accomplishment, satisfaction, a feeling of pride to see that commitment in action. Well done!

instant

Well done. I found forcing my mind to change impossible. What I could do was just accept things for what they are, let it wash over me without active resistance and wait for the urges, AV or whatever to pass.

With time it all fades,but it does take time. Hang in there

MrsKing

Congratulations on your 30 days. That's so fantastic. I'm really pleased for you.

Every time I drank, no matter where it was or who it was with or what the reason was, it always ended in bad binges. I felt the same the next day too. My body was really, really struggling with me and my mental health was just ruined. I think you're right with what you say - reaching a rock bottom is so, so important in forcing us to really see what we've become and that we have to change before it's too late. I don't know what clicked the day I decided I was done for good, but something did, and I think that's because I couldn't see how my life could actually get any worse.

You're right about changing how we think, too. The missing out on a social life, etc, is really just a way of justifying our drinking - we can do all the things we did before (and more) sober, and we can better friends/partners/family members as sober people. Nobody judges us for being sober, but they sure as hell do for being a drunk.

I'm so glad that you feel all those benefits. They definitely keep us going, hey?

Congrats again and I'm looking forward to seeing you around the boards.

KnowHope

Congratulations on getting sober! I remember the same feelings of relief and exhilaration when I got sober because I had tried and failed for so long and felt exhausted, frightened and desperate when I looked at how serious the situation had become. What a gift it is to be sober. When I reached out for help, others in recovery began to share their collective experience. They told me that getting sober was different from staying sober. When I could see that just not drinking wasn't enough to show me how to live a sober life, I became willing to let them show me exactly what they did to recover. I was finally willing to go to any lengths to get well and did the same as they did to get the same results. I didn't want to be an alcoholic or go to AA either. I did it because I understood I had to find a better way, and frankly my way based on my own thinking had nearly killed me. Today I absolutely love it and can't believe how blessed I am to have such an amazing program in my life with such amazing people. I am wishing you the very best on your journey and hope that you will accept the help that's out there. Once we've been there and have truly gotten free, we know the way out and the way forward.

Sapling

Congrats on your 30 days....I never had much luck with forcing my mind to change either...I guess I was kind of an alcoholic in that way...Stubborn and self centered. I always like when people say AA didn't work for them...Just curious how many times did you go to that meeting you were the youngest one there?...Did you try any other meetings at different places?...Probably never got a sponsor or read the Big Book...I'm sure you never started working the steps....I went into AA as a last hope for me too...But I did the things that were suggested to do and just got a year without a drink....So sometimes I have to wonder if it would be more fair to say...I didn't work for AA...Rather than AA didn't work for me. Good luck with your journey...I wish you the best. Be sure and read and post a lot...And let us know how you are doing.

devotchka

Grats on your 30!

I am surprised to hear you were the youngest one in AA, maybe you live in a rural area? There are many early 20s and some teenagers in my meetings. Either way I know you can find a lot of support in these forums

tpoint

Thanks for you replies everyone. It's 09:30 here in the UK and even though I had a bad nights sleep last night, it is such a good feeling waking up without a hangover. I only went to AA once, so may be it's unfair to say it didn't work for me. Everyone there was really nice and supporting, I guess the thought of having to go to AA regularly filled me with dread.

Some other things that have helped me get to 30 days that I didn't mention in my original post:

- Volunteering once a week (I feel like I've been take, take take whilst drinking for the last 10 years, so it's time go give something back)

- The last time I went on a drinking binge I hurt and pushed someone away from my life. I realise if I keep drinking I will end up very sad and lonely.

- Self-help books, especially Allen Carr's book.

- Checking my bank balance to see how much debt I'm in which is mostly down to the poison.

Sapling

One meeting isn't exactly giving it a fair shot...Those things you are doing sound good...My advice....Do whatever you have to do...To get alcohol out of your life for good...If what you are doing isn't enough...Do more. Glad you are here.

Anna

I love that you're volunteering. That's such a good way to get outside of your head and to give back. And, I depended on books a lot, too. I seemed to find the right book at the right time to answer my questions.

And, don't forget you can always find lots of support here, too.

Zencat

Well done on your 30 days tpoint.

IMO it takes a courage to stay sober outside the AA way. Finding what works for you can be an extra challenge when not having the larger more availability of recovery AA can offer. I have a somewhat similar challenge and through my own resourcefulness (like you) I now have a treatment plan that works best for my needs.

Thanks for your post, I feel less alone in recovery choices this morning

tpoint

Just checking in to say I am still still sober (nearly three months now). I am proud of what I've achieved, to be honest I can't believe I've gone so long without a vice I relied on for so long. By no means has the journey been easy, a 28 year old that doesn't drink Is sadly seen as odd by some of my peers. The UK has a huge drinking culture (or should I say problem) so its a fact I'm going to have to get use to.

Alcohol still consumes my daily thoughts. I'm not sure if these are cravings as such. I have a reoccurring nightmare of getting wasted and being so ashamed of myself. Waking up realising its just a dream is such a relief, does anyone else experience similar dreams/nightmares?

For anyone reading this that is just starting in their path to sobriety, please keep going, the rewards of sobriety are amazing, you deserve a life without the booze.

Dee74

wow congratulations tpoint

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tpoint

Thanks Anna, your posts since I joined the site have been a huge inspiration & help for me. I think it's amazing that you and others are giving so much of your precious time to help others.

copperfield

Thank you Tpoint!!!!
I really needed to hear this. I've been trying too now for a while. Good for you - so great! Thank you for sharing your success!!!

IndaMiricale

This is just me , but after I have been around the rooms of AA,

I now would dread the day that I stop meetings .

That is me but I gave it a fair assesment I went daily for months.. Oh and 15 months later I still do..

blueshades

Congrats on 30 days! For what it's worth, AA is not for everyone. I disagree with their approach myself, but respect that it works for some people. Do what works for you and stick with it!