Painful
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 237
Painful
I'm going on holiday next week with my mum. To a wine region in France, something I couldnt have done with xABF. I've been really looking forward to it and it's kept me going through a rough week at work.
But with all the prep, it's just reminding me of all the excitement and optimism I had two months ago before I went away with my x. I know things weren't good and looking back I was kidding myself but I had such hopes for our break, spending time together, going walking, just relaxing. It started so well but it was the first holiday after giving up alcohol and he couldn't do it. Day two he drank and my hopes of holiday and relationship ended. I flew home and ended it a few days later.
Now when I got my currency, booked hire car, it all flashes me back and I feel physically sick, winded and cant stop crying. Embarrassingly walking down street or on train. I know I will be ok when I get there and there's no point wishing things were different but they are such painful memories.
Anyway, just having rough day. Thanks for reading - just posting helps.
But with all the prep, it's just reminding me of all the excitement and optimism I had two months ago before I went away with my x. I know things weren't good and looking back I was kidding myself but I had such hopes for our break, spending time together, going walking, just relaxing. It started so well but it was the first holiday after giving up alcohol and he couldn't do it. Day two he drank and my hopes of holiday and relationship ended. I flew home and ended it a few days later.
Now when I got my currency, booked hire car, it all flashes me back and I feel physically sick, winded and cant stop crying. Embarrassingly walking down street or on train. I know I will be ok when I get there and there's no point wishing things were different but they are such painful memories.
Anyway, just having rough day. Thanks for reading - just posting helps.
Survivor
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Proud Upstate New Yorker
Posts: 869
Many 
to you Anon.
If I am not mistaken, you were with your ex for 6 months right? I can understand why it hurts sometimes. I think you did an awesome job breaking away and doing what is right for you.
Try to stay in the moment. It helps to recognize that things are okay right now. Right now, you are safe, you have your basic needs met, you have a support system and you are going to a wine region in FRANCE!! How exciting?? I hope to be able to see France someday. That would be awesome.
I hope you get through this hard time and enjoy your holiday with your mom. Let the tears flow, but don't forget to smile and enjoy life. You deserve to be happy.
Love and Light,
Lily
to you Anon.If I am not mistaken, you were with your ex for 6 months right? I can understand why it hurts sometimes. I think you did an awesome job breaking away and doing what is right for you.
Try to stay in the moment. It helps to recognize that things are okay right now. Right now, you are safe, you have your basic needs met, you have a support system and you are going to a wine region in FRANCE!! How exciting?? I hope to be able to see France someday. That would be awesome.
I hope you get through this hard time and enjoy your holiday with your mom. Let the tears flow, but don't forget to smile and enjoy life. You deserve to be happy.
Love and Light,
Lily
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 237
Thanks for uplifting messages.
We were together for just under six years. The last year or so has been difficult. I sometimes think the last two months haven't happened, too unreal. I hate feeling sad but Im also scared to feel numb. I hate addiction. I hate the waste.
I know I am lucky to be able to go away though and I'm not going to waste that precious time with my mum.
We were together for just under six years. The last year or so has been difficult. I sometimes think the last two months haven't happened, too unreal. I hate feeling sad but Im also scared to feel numb. I hate addiction. I hate the waste.
I know I am lucky to be able to go away though and I'm not going to waste that precious time with my mum.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Sussex, England
Posts: 945
If you haven't already been before. You'll love France, such a beautiful place 
Have a lovely time with your mum x
Ps. The Euro is going down the pan, so you'll probably get a good exchange rate!
Have a lovely time with your mum xPs. The Euro is going down the pan, so you'll probably get a good exchange rate!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
