jessiec

... my relationship with ABF that was dragging me down way more than lifting me up. We don't live together but have done so this week as my new place is being finished. Spending so much time together, I saw more of the addiction (which appears to be getting worse). It has taken me a long time to really get it ( new to alcoholism), but I'm finally realizing the only thing I can fix is me and the situation. It pains me because I love him dearly. My therapist said something that resonated yesterday: There is nothing loving about sitting around and watching someone self-destruct." The most loving thing I can do for him and me is let go.

Part of me is so sad.

And part of me is so relieved.

Thanks for listening!

Impurrfect

((jessiec)) - good for you!! I know it's hard, been there done that, but when we focus on what is best for US? It's a really good thing

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

Sungrl

I wish I had your strength. I can't seem to let go of my AB of almost two years. He is going to be spending a short amount of time in jail soon for probation violation, due to his excessive drinking. I am glad of that, which is pretty sad. At least I will not have to worry about him and I can spend some time working on myself and my kids. He says he wants to stop the madness but his actions do not show me that. He is a terrible binge drinker and an unemployed daily drinker. It's sooooo sad to watch. I'm hanging in there for now and I hope to god he thinks enough of himself to recover from this hell

Carol Star

Yep- on the tv show intervention- Candy Finnigan, a counselor asked a girl- "What part about loving that man makes you happy ?" The Zen quote helped me "Let go or be dragged."

PeacefulMe

[QUOTE=jessiec There is nothing loving about sitting around and watching someone self-[/QUOTE]

I love this!!! have to remember that.

Cyranoak

...a therapist who isn't a complete moron about addiction.

As for you Jessie, congratulations and my condolences.

Take care,

Cyranoak

Bluebonnet1

Kudos for being so brave. I kicked ABF out 2 weeks ago but he's been sober and going to recovery groups, which makes me even more confused. Sad, yet relieved, I know thos two emotions well.
Good for you for putting yourself first.

marie1960

He is dragging you down way more than lifting you up, By george, I think you got it!!! When times get tough just keep telling yourself this.

Wishing you all good things.