BunnyDale

So I was thinking today of how much I want a beer. Not that I wanted it today, but that I just know that I don't want to give it up. And I find myself thinking, a beer here or there isn't too bad. Stay away from the liquor, stay away from the drinking parties and maybe I can handle myself with a beer when I want one. When I want a beer is pretty rare anyway, and it is one drink I have always been able to start and stop when I want (unlike liquor or wine, where I drink too fast, get drunk and then it is no holds bar). So I was having trouble justifying to myself why I have to give up all alcohol.

I know that isn't really the best thinking, but could it be true? Aren't there people out there that need to abstain from liquor, but can enjoy a beer once in a while? I know I shouldn't even be having these thoughts, but I am. And it made me sad. I don't know if it is making me sad because it makes me feel weak, or sad because I don't want to give up being able to enjoy a beer when I want one.

Anna

Well, first of all, alcohol is alcohol and your body doesn't differentiate between beer, wine or whatever else. If you can control your drinking, then you're not an alcoholic. If you're an alcoholic, then your mind is playing games with you trying to have you believe that you can drink.

Elisabeth888

NO!

Substituting alcohol type is one of our tricks and it always ends up bad.

Don't do it!!!!!!

I would drink like 5 beers and be like screw it, I want a liquor drink.

Misguidedsoul

Hi BunnyDale

Thank you for your post, it kinda made me think about myself , like you I thought a beer here and there wouldn't hurt...over time the odd beer here and there became more and more.... then i thought I could just cut down and have the one or two... just last night I found out that I can't.. I ended up drinking 9 cans and felt really bad about myself... Now I know.. I need to stop completely..so I'm accepting all the support from as many places as I can get it...in order to achieve that goal....

I have been going through a range of emotions too...sadness being one of them ... to me it's all part of the process I have to go through to finally not be a slave to the drink !!

This site has a lot of good advice and heaps of support... please use it as much as you need

Susan53

I could not agree more

Live2Run25

Yeah. don't do it. I think what you really need to be thinking about is the reason BEHIND the drink? What makes you want to have that drink? You don't need it. That's a alcoholic mentalilty. You got this!

BunnyDale

Thanks, guys. I know there isn't a difference between alcohols, and I know that beer does have the possibility to lead to liquor, which is my trouble drug. I work at an Irish Pub and they were sampling a new Chocolate Stoudt today (I did NOT take a sample, though), but I thought how much I'd like to have one some time, like on vacation. I just wish I never had problems with alcohol so I didn't have to be like this.

I appreciate the support!

BunnyDale

I guess my other question is, if you are not an alcoholic, do you HAVE to control your drinking? Or does it just happen naturally? Because I do have the ability to control my drinking when I think of it, but I sometimes just don't think about it and that is when the possibility of problems arise.

I'm still in a very thoughtful stage about myself and what role alcohol has played in my life. I have friends that have made some bad decisions and drank too much, but I wouldn't consider them alcoholics (for any number of reasons), so I guess I'm just figuring out where I fit in.

Sapling

I'll tell you what BunnyDale....Beer was my trouble drug....And I can't remember ever having one....Ever.

BunnyDale

That's probably part of why I am confused. Beer is something I have always been able to drink moderately. Liquor is where I have problems because one shot turns into more. I know that mentality of thinking isn't exactly good because it sounds like making excuses, but, like I said, I am still trying to figure myself out and where I fit in as far as alcohol is a problem for me.

Anyway, I hope I am not upsetting anyone with this thread. I just am very confused right now. It's been a long week with a lot of thoughts and few answers :/

Sapling

If you really want to figure it out....Stop completely for 90 days....If you can do that without a problem....Alcohol is not a problem for you...If you can't do that...Or you become irritable, restless and discontent without it....Then alcohol is a problem...And it is progressive....It gets worse....Never better.

BunnyDale

I definitely understand that it only gets worse. I have attended a few AA meetings and it is truly heartbreaking listening to some of the stories. I will continue to abstain, regardless, while I get my head straight about a lot of things. I definitely don't want to rush into a decision about this, since it is my life and health that I want to maintain.

Thanks again for all the comments and support!

Sapling

See if you can find some meetings where they talk about solving the problem...The solution is the 12 steps...I have my own war stories...I can't listen to other peoples problems for an hour...I go to listen and talk about how to get better.

serious

your mind is playing tricks on you.
having one beer is pointless really. if you are after that "good" feeling, one beer may not satisfy you. maybe you'll have one a few times... and falsely assume that you've got it under control. then it will become 2, then harder liquor because you were controlling beer so well. maybe one shot or one stiff drink will be ok too.

the thing is you probably wouldn't be so conflicted if you were completely in control of your drinking.

MalkavianEmily

Honestly, I have no idea whether 'normal' drinkers need to control their drinking or not. I've never asked any. I can... sorry could, past tense. I've quit. I could stop at one, if I made sure I have to be somewhere else fairly quickly, or if I was sneaking one on my way back from the shops.
[Some strange people can sit in a pub for half an hour and make a pint last that long, even when they're on their own. I'm guessing those are the normal drinkers we're talking about?]

Elisabeth888

Be careful. You are seeing the differences instead of the similarities. Trust me. I thought it was sad to hear the stories and I kept on relapsing and added onto my story so that I was ONE of the sad stories that lost their job because of alcohol. I would not have believed you if you told me that would happen a year prior to that.

Sapling

I've heard them called "Earth People."

sober4myboys

I found myself justifying drinking, rationalizing it, trying to control it, setting rules. It all lead to the same place, I just got worse and worse. If you have one "problem" drink than any drink is a problem.

freshstart57

I feel that urge, I hear that same voice, but I can distance myself from the source of that voice. It comes from the part of me that I hate, I truly do, but that part of me has now all but disappeared.

Dee74

There were times I could stop at just one or two...I wasn't happy about it but I did it...then I would usually buy some more on the way home or the next day, and have a 'proper' drink.

What's worse is I'd look at those times I conrtrolled myself and think - well there you go it's possible...

I'd forget totally about those binges after...

I'd also forget about those times when I needed to control myself and I didn't...
I can't remember either my brothers or my sisters weddings for example.

I look back now and I had no control...not really just some times I got lucky and managed not to lose it entirely.

As for different drinks - it all ends up the same, believe me Bunny...I've tried them all.

D