How close are you to a relapse.......honestly.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Staffordshire UK
Posts: 514
How close are you to a relapse.......honestly.
Hi guys,
I've had a decent day at work today and I've been seriously tempted to have a beer to celebrate.
We have won a new contract which will keep us busy for the forseeable future, immediately on finding out that we had won it my mind took over and I straight away accepted that I'd be toasting the news with a drink. This obviously is an automatic reaction that is natural.
On the other end of the scale if I had received some devastating news for example that a loved one had died then I would probably be going through the same process within my mind albeit commiserating not celebrating.
Will we ever get over this mindset do you think or is it here to stay?
Afterall we are all addicts. :-/
Bruno.
I've had a decent day at work today and I've been seriously tempted to have a beer to celebrate.
We have won a new contract which will keep us busy for the forseeable future, immediately on finding out that we had won it my mind took over and I straight away accepted that I'd be toasting the news with a drink. This obviously is an automatic reaction that is natural.
On the other end of the scale if I had received some devastating news for example that a loved one had died then I would probably be going through the same process within my mind albeit commiserating not celebrating.
Will we ever get over this mindset do you think or is it here to stay?
Afterall we are all addicts. :-/
Bruno.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Rocky Mountains, USA
Posts: 344
Bruno, the mindset can go away. I believe it has for me... after many stops and starts that were ruined by thinking I could have "just one" or just for a "special occasion" or "rough day."
Stronger than the myth of using drink to celebrate or mourn is the absolute proof that drinking creates a hell for me that I no longer wish to be part of, ever again.
Stronger than the myth of using drink to celebrate or mourn is the absolute proof that drinking creates a hell for me that I no longer wish to be part of, ever again.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
That's good news to hear that your job may
possibly secure you financially into the future.
However, returning to a drink or drug or your
addiction can ultimately destroy that foundation
for you, especially the way the economy is today
and those wilthout jobs to support them and their
families.
Your health and job are awesome gifts in recovery
to not take lightly but to be grateful for. Hold on
to both with much appreciation.
With 21 yrs sober, I haven't had to deal with
much death close to me, except for a few birds.
And I have no clue as to how death will affect
me when the time comes. Hopefully, with my strong
foundation in recovery, I will be able to emmediately
reach for those important tools to help me thru
whatever emotions I will have to deal with at that
time instead of reaching for a drink or wanting to just
die.
Same thing for you.
possibly secure you financially into the future.
However, returning to a drink or drug or your
addiction can ultimately destroy that foundation
for you, especially the way the economy is today
and those wilthout jobs to support them and their
families.
Your health and job are awesome gifts in recovery
to not take lightly but to be grateful for. Hold on
to both with much appreciation.
With 21 yrs sober, I haven't had to deal with
much death close to me, except for a few birds.
And I have no clue as to how death will affect
me when the time comes. Hopefully, with my strong
foundation in recovery, I will be able to emmediately
reach for those important tools to help me thru
whatever emotions I will have to deal with at that
time instead of reaching for a drink or wanting to just
die.
Same thing for you.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Anchorage, AK
Posts: 391
I share the same problem as you do but not everyone here has this problem. We still in our minds associate drinking with activities that we usually use alcohol to enhance or subdue the feelings. Like you are talking about a successful business day and associating drinking with that success. I may be wrong, but based on some of the successful people around this forum, they no longer associate alcohol with anything other than making a situation worse whether it be a bad day or a good day.
When I think of the upcoming football season I instantly think about drinking. My birthday party tonight with people over here, I can't stop thinking about drinking because I associate parties with alcohol and having "fun". I know it seems like I'm getting to some point, but I'm not... because I personally also have no clue how to break that association. I can't even fathom watching college football with out a drink, but now I'm realizing that is the problem.
Anyways, good luck!
When I think of the upcoming football season I instantly think about drinking. My birthday party tonight with people over here, I can't stop thinking about drinking because I associate parties with alcohol and having "fun". I know it seems like I'm getting to some point, but I'm not... because I personally also have no clue how to break that association. I can't even fathom watching college football with out a drink, but now I'm realizing that is the problem.
Anyways, good luck!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: CA
Posts: 3,360
I choose not to drink on a daily basis...for me the thought of a drink does arrive, often for no good reason...I realize it is a thought and let it pass...I try never to enlarge the thought...a thought is a thought...picking up a drink is an action...
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: London, England
Posts: 724
How close am I to a relapse? I feel like I've been within a hair's breadth of one for a week now. But I've picked up the phone instead of a drink. Knowing how it will end helps keep me away from the drink. That, and guilt for being so weak. I'm not the only one with problems after all.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 526
Bruno, what possible good can come out of you having that beer? What does your rational thinking tell you?.. probably: "nothing good". You wouldn't be here if you didn't want to change your life for the better.
Chances are even if you have that beer the only thing that will happen is an increased false sense of control, that will eventually lead to 2, 6, 20 beers... that's the reality.
Celebrate by doing something good for yourself.. Have some ice cream, go for a run, drink some tea. Beer is clearly not your friend.
The thought will pass... it may appear again, but you are the one in control. Do not be afraid of it, do not act on it. Every time you win this little battle with your addiction you get stronger, you get more in control. And you feel more and more fantastic in the long run.
Chances are even if you have that beer the only thing that will happen is an increased false sense of control, that will eventually lead to 2, 6, 20 beers... that's the reality.
Celebrate by doing something good for yourself.. Have some ice cream, go for a run, drink some tea. Beer is clearly not your friend.
The thought will pass... it may appear again, but you are the one in control. Do not be afraid of it, do not act on it. Every time you win this little battle with your addiction you get stronger, you get more in control. And you feel more and more fantastic in the long run.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,145
Yes, we are addicts. But I have (slowly) come to terms with the fact that I will never drink again. Ever. At the beginning I was the same - I would associate certain activities/feelings with the need to drink, but after coming so far I would never, ever ruin that now. It's not worth it, not one little bit. Now I do all the things that I used to do with a glass of sparkling water in my hand. Time has taught me that whatever bad/good thing is going on in my life that for a split second I think would be made better with alcohol, I push it to one side immediately. My future is going to be a sober one, end of! So... how close am I to a relapse? It's not going to happen. My future doesn't allow for it.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Europe
Posts: 159
Hi,
I stopped drinking over 4 months ago (had 8 months in 2010).
At the moment the real "win" for me is sobriety in itself.
It's sobriety that allowed me to have worked up to jogging 35 minutes at a time. My natural highes are really high now, for instance when I listen to music I discover accents and nuances that I never heard before (especially not all drunk and whiny) and I really feel my emotions, I can embrace them and go like "wow what was that" in amazement. I love going on long bike-rides with my 7 year-old now, sightseeing, breathing in and out all that fresh forest air...
Every morning when I walk my little route to work, I can greet the people from the neighbourhood feeling "fresh and clean", I enjoy that soooo much. It's all that little-big stuff, a sense of being at peace.
I don't know if or when the devil of booze will come knocking again, but for now every inch of my body & soul realizes that this IS the celebration. :-))
I stopped drinking over 4 months ago (had 8 months in 2010).
At the moment the real "win" for me is sobriety in itself.
It's sobriety that allowed me to have worked up to jogging 35 minutes at a time. My natural highes are really high now, for instance when I listen to music I discover accents and nuances that I never heard before (especially not all drunk and whiny) and I really feel my emotions, I can embrace them and go like "wow what was that" in amazement. I love going on long bike-rides with my 7 year-old now, sightseeing, breathing in and out all that fresh forest air...
Every morning when I walk my little route to work, I can greet the people from the neighbourhood feeling "fresh and clean", I enjoy that soooo much. It's all that little-big stuff, a sense of being at peace.
I don't know if or when the devil of booze will come knocking again, but for now every inch of my body & soul realizes that this IS the celebration. :-))
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 128
I was much closer to a relapse when I was focusing on what my ego wanted rather than letting go of my own thoughts and ideas about what was needed in my life. Those thoughts were not helpful to me, ever. They only took me right back to drink. I had to learn that it isn't my place to try to control everything. That helped immensely.
A girl can dream...
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Recovery Road
Posts: 388
Hi Bruno,
I'm on Day 8 and my mind too associates alcohol with 'events' (good or bad). I HAVE to go to a big business 'do' today where there will be alcohol. I'm already anxious about it but am telling myself I'll get through it.
I've quit often but never long enough to know if the mindset of drinking on occasion ever goes away. I only ever quit for six months straight once in 10 years and during that time it did get easier as time went by. Then I used my 40th birthday party as an excuse to have a drink and it went south from there. Six years later, here I am again but this time I believe I can do this for good.
Take heed to SR members who have been sober for some time. I believe their experience will help us through this.
I'm on Day 8 and my mind too associates alcohol with 'events' (good or bad). I HAVE to go to a big business 'do' today where there will be alcohol. I'm already anxious about it but am telling myself I'll get through it.
I've quit often but never long enough to know if the mindset of drinking on occasion ever goes away. I only ever quit for six months straight once in 10 years and during that time it did get easier as time went by. Then I used my 40th birthday party as an excuse to have a drink and it went south from there. Six years later, here I am again but this time I believe I can do this for good.
Take heed to SR members who have been sober for some time. I believe their experience will help us through this.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
AA says "What we have is a daily reprieve contingent upon the maintenance of our spiritual condition".
I believe that to be true.
I know I got another drunk in me and I'm quite sure I don’t have another recovery.
All the best.
Bob R
I believe that to be true.
I know I got another drunk in me and I'm quite sure I don’t have another recovery.
All the best.
Bob R
A girl can dream...
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Recovery Road
Posts: 388
Thank you!
Originally Posted by 2granddaughters 
I know I got another drunk in me and I'm quite sure I don’t have another recovery.
New to Real Life
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: I come in Peaces
Posts: 2,071
I'm nowhere near relapse honestly. At the start (almost 2 years ago) when I would be tempted I would remind myself that it was my alcoholic voice. I have absolutely trained myself to ignore that voice. I killed it. I am never tempted to drink now.
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