My breakup letter to my addiction...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: New York
Posts: 96
My breakup letter to my addiction...
Dear Vodka,
I know you may think I was rude not contacting you, or hanging out with you for 10 days but i will not apologize for it. You see the thing is... I felt it best to make a clean break without discussing it with you first because you would only try to convince me of how much i really need you in my Life. You will remind of all the times you made me laugh...made me relax...allowed me to cry on your shoulder when i was sad...heightened my personality... and have generally always been there.
The truth of the matter however, is this... Oh yes..i cannot deny the fact that you HAVE been there for me for the better part of 6 years, each and every day without fail...you've been a real trooper, i'll give you that... but in retrospect...now that you are no longer in my life..here is how I see thing...so listen to my side of the argument for a moment...
You say you made me laugh?... sure at times...but laughing like a moron just made me look stupid AND feel stupid...your not that humorous so stop flattering yourself.
You say you made me relax?... relax?? RELAX???... all you did was dangle a carrot in front of my face!... you didnt help me relax! you helped me delude myself into "feeling" like i was relaxed, all you did was numb me to the point of where i would pass out and then wake up needing you even more!.... your a crafty thing arent you?
You say you let me cry on your shoulder.... The truth of the matter is... when you were around...i know now..that all the emotions i would feel..and all the tears I shed were BECAUSE of you..though you tricked my mind into thinking that "I" was hopeless and "YOU" were a true friend.. YOU WERE THE REASON I WAS CRYING SO MUCH!!!!
You say you heightened my personality... Actually...you caused me to wear a mask for 6 years..being something I'm not.. not allowing those people around me who i love to even be able to recognize me anymore... even " I " myself didn't recognize who I was when i looked in the mirror.... so cunning you are that after time even I, began to believe the mask i was wearing...
You see Vodka... It's like this... we are done..we are through...I made a decision 10 days ago to break up with you and see If i can get on without you.. you know what? For the first time since you barged into my life with your lies and empty promises... I actually feel relieved that your gone! I feel a small semblance of ME again!! .. When i look in the mirror now, guess what? Im slowly seeing that girl I once new... the REAL ME!
The girl who laughs because she has a happy song in her heart or hears something TRULY humorous..
The girl who can actually RELAX with a smile on her face...meditate..become centered again... and sleep deeply, instead of passing out...
The girl who can express true emotion through true tears because at times life does get hard and we need to let it out... I no longer convince myself of false sadness. I can also now..cry when im happy...something I haven't done since we got together...
The girl who's TRUE personality is coming back with a vengeance! Not only did everyone around me LOVE the true me....guess what? I did too!... Im sorry i neglected her for so long...
The girl who can now wake up early and do the "little" things that bring me true peace... sitting out on my deck with a cup of coffee..just after the sun comes up... enjoying the sun on my face (without fear of it hurting my eyes)..the wind through my hair, and listening to the song of the birds and doves chirping and cooing instead of cursing their song because it would make my head pound...
I could go on and on about all the major changes that have occurred in such a short period of time since i left you without a word, but i know you wont listen... either way....its over for good i assure you!!! My strength and resolve is stronger then you will ever be...true of the matter is...im way too good for you! you have nothing to offer me and try your best to convince me that your giving me a lifeline while in reality you have pushed me further into the ground... we are done!
Please stop begging to come by even for a short visit... I'll simply slam the door in your face.... Dont call, dont write..dont respond... and there is no need to send your friends to try to speak for you either..i dont want to hear from Mr. beer, Miss wine, or your other friends or relatives... you and your clan can just move on because i dont need any of you... I have the best friend in the world right here....
ME!...
Goodbye forever and good riddance!!!
I know you may think I was rude not contacting you, or hanging out with you for 10 days but i will not apologize for it. You see the thing is... I felt it best to make a clean break without discussing it with you first because you would only try to convince me of how much i really need you in my Life. You will remind of all the times you made me laugh...made me relax...allowed me to cry on your shoulder when i was sad...heightened my personality... and have generally always been there.
The truth of the matter however, is this... Oh yes..i cannot deny the fact that you HAVE been there for me for the better part of 6 years, each and every day without fail...you've been a real trooper, i'll give you that... but in retrospect...now that you are no longer in my life..here is how I see thing...so listen to my side of the argument for a moment...
You say you made me laugh?... sure at times...but laughing like a moron just made me look stupid AND feel stupid...your not that humorous so stop flattering yourself.
You say you made me relax?... relax?? RELAX???... all you did was dangle a carrot in front of my face!... you didnt help me relax! you helped me delude myself into "feeling" like i was relaxed, all you did was numb me to the point of where i would pass out and then wake up needing you even more!.... your a crafty thing arent you?
You say you let me cry on your shoulder.... The truth of the matter is... when you were around...i know now..that all the emotions i would feel..and all the tears I shed were BECAUSE of you..though you tricked my mind into thinking that "I" was hopeless and "YOU" were a true friend.. YOU WERE THE REASON I WAS CRYING SO MUCH!!!!
You say you heightened my personality... Actually...you caused me to wear a mask for 6 years..being something I'm not.. not allowing those people around me who i love to even be able to recognize me anymore... even " I " myself didn't recognize who I was when i looked in the mirror.... so cunning you are that after time even I, began to believe the mask i was wearing...
You see Vodka... It's like this... we are done..we are through...I made a decision 10 days ago to break up with you and see If i can get on without you.. you know what? For the first time since you barged into my life with your lies and empty promises... I actually feel relieved that your gone! I feel a small semblance of ME again!! .. When i look in the mirror now, guess what? Im slowly seeing that girl I once new... the REAL ME!
The girl who laughs because she has a happy song in her heart or hears something TRULY humorous..
The girl who can actually RELAX with a smile on her face...meditate..become centered again... and sleep deeply, instead of passing out...
The girl who can express true emotion through true tears because at times life does get hard and we need to let it out... I no longer convince myself of false sadness. I can also now..cry when im happy...something I haven't done since we got together...
The girl who's TRUE personality is coming back with a vengeance! Not only did everyone around me LOVE the true me....guess what? I did too!... Im sorry i neglected her for so long...
The girl who can now wake up early and do the "little" things that bring me true peace... sitting out on my deck with a cup of coffee..just after the sun comes up... enjoying the sun on my face (without fear of it hurting my eyes)..the wind through my hair, and listening to the song of the birds and doves chirping and cooing instead of cursing their song because it would make my head pound...
I could go on and on about all the major changes that have occurred in such a short period of time since i left you without a word, but i know you wont listen... either way....its over for good i assure you!!! My strength and resolve is stronger then you will ever be...true of the matter is...im way too good for you! you have nothing to offer me and try your best to convince me that your giving me a lifeline while in reality you have pushed me further into the ground... we are done!
Please stop begging to come by even for a short visit... I'll simply slam the door in your face.... Dont call, dont write..dont respond... and there is no need to send your friends to try to speak for you either..i dont want to hear from Mr. beer, Miss wine, or your other friends or relatives... you and your clan can just move on because i dont need any of you... I have the best friend in the world right here....
ME!...
Goodbye forever and good riddance!!!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,145
Wow, wow, wow! Thank you so much for sharing this. I feel like I could have written EXACTLY the same thing (to Wine). Since I've been sober, the real me comes back stronger as each day goes by. It's amazing to get to know her again. She's really not bad, at all.
This is so, so, so, so, true.
It's amazing, isn't it? SUCH a great feeling!
Me too 
Thanks so much for sharing this. I love it.
You say you let me cry on your shoulder.... The truth of the matter is... when you were around...i know now..that all the emotions i would feel..and all the tears I shed were BECAUSE of you..though you tricked my mind into thinking that "I" was hopeless and "YOU" were a true friend.. YOU WERE THE REASON I WAS CRYING SO MUCH!!!!
I feel a small semblance of ME again!! .. When i look in the mirror now, guess what? Im slowly seeing that girl I once new... the REAL ME!
The girl who's TRUE personality is coming back with a vengeance! Not only did everyone around me LOVE the true me....guess what? I did too!... Im sorry i neglected her for so long...
Thanks so much for sharing this. I love it.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Toronto ON
Posts: 1,180
Nice letter GiGi...very well done!
Congratulations on your 10 days of freedom...sounds to me like you're off to a great start!
Sounds like you'd be a good fit for AVRT...you've done a great job of identifying and disassociating from your addictive voice here. If you're interested, take a peak at the Secular Connections forum.
Peace and love.
Congratulations on your 10 days of freedom...sounds to me like you're off to a great start!
Sounds like you'd be a good fit for AVRT...you've done a great job of identifying and disassociating from your addictive voice here. If you're interested, take a peak at the Secular Connections forum.
Peace and love.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 87
GiGi that letter was amazing! I wish I had your clarity in my communications. Mine usually sound rather like a crude form of Caveman speach...
"UGH... Beer bad...get out! Don not need you no more!"
Keep up the good work and Thank You. Your post made my day so far.
"UGH... Beer bad...get out! Don not need you no more!"
Keep up the good work and Thank You. Your post made my day so far.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
