What made you alcoholic?
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Join Date: Jun 2012
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What made you alcoholic?
I went to high school in USA & I was a straight A student because I tried really hard to be a good student. After I graduated from high school I came home to Japan to receive a surgery on my spine. Then later that year I attended a college in Japan.
The experience at the Japanese college was kind of horrible. Most students had no respect for the professors. I was called dumb just because I didn't go to high school in Japan. I decided to quit the university.
I started to drink heavily because I now believed that no matter how hard I tried to make things better, it didn't work.
I would like to ask people on this site, was there a particular event that made you abuse alcohol?
The experience at the Japanese college was kind of horrible. Most students had no respect for the professors. I was called dumb just because I didn't go to high school in Japan. I decided to quit the university.
I started to drink heavily because I now believed that no matter how hard I tried to make things better, it didn't work.
I would like to ask people on this site, was there a particular event that made you abuse alcohol?
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: East Coast, The States
Posts: 12,162
Alcoholism made me alcoholic. Not being facetious. I had my share of things go bad. Things that shook me to the core like everyone else. But drinking to deal with them is what started it and drinking made me alcoholic.
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,047
I think the need and desire to fit into society when I was "of age" made me an alcoholic. I drank before age 21, but not much, but in my mind it made me feel like an adult. Little did I know that would turn into alcohol abuse and years of being stupid.
I'm glad I'm sober.
I'm glad I'm sober.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Oregon
Posts: 328
Hi Flowers -- there were a lot of events that led to the abuse of alcohol in my life. Are you asking whether there was a turning point where consumption increased to the point where alcohol was in control? Where we realized we had a problem? Whatever your question may be, years ago when I realized alcohol allowed me to be the person others expected me to be, or whom I wanted to be, was when I understood alcohol was a problem in my life. Alcohol allowed me to theoretically be who everyone, including myself, expected me to be.
It took me decades to figure out that it was ok to simply be me. So to answer your original question, I'll give you an example of life as I know it. I, too, was a straight A student. But unlike you, I didn't have to work for it. It just came to me. So this points out both a similarity and a difference, but other than simply recognizing that, I don't think any of that matters. What really matters is that we drink! I think we drink to cope, to change into something we aren't, to bury things we probably shouldn't, to have courage to do things we think we should be doing.
I don't see anything more beautiful in this world than authenticity. It's impossible to be the authentic you (or me) when we are drunk.
Your subject title was What made you alcoholic? I don't have an answer, but try to forget for a second or two the specific events and look towards how you feel about yourself and the perception you make think others have of you. There may be an answer in there.
It took me decades to figure out that it was ok to simply be me. So to answer your original question, I'll give you an example of life as I know it. I, too, was a straight A student. But unlike you, I didn't have to work for it. It just came to me. So this points out both a similarity and a difference, but other than simply recognizing that, I don't think any of that matters. What really matters is that we drink! I think we drink to cope, to change into something we aren't, to bury things we probably shouldn't, to have courage to do things we think we should be doing.
I don't see anything more beautiful in this world than authenticity. It's impossible to be the authentic you (or me) when we are drunk.
Your subject title was What made you alcoholic? I don't have an answer, but try to forget for a second or two the specific events and look towards how you feel about yourself and the perception you make think others have of you. There may be an answer in there.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: hertfordshire
Posts: 34
Hi there i suppose it was in my teens 13/14 then i joined the navy things got out of hand then , learned at 16 the pick me up in the morning , and it snowballed from there , In the gutter at 29 lost the lot !!! now i know about the first drink , been sober a few days now , a day at a time , by the grace of GOD go I
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
I think I was an alcoholic before I picked up my first beer...I stole one at the age of 12 and didn't even like the taste but ended up having three I think...I knew I was made to drink...My parents drank...Aunts and Uncles drank...Brothers and sisters drank...At 15 I was drinking alcoholically...I drank to get drunk...Plain and simple....I wasn't around many normal drinkers...They still kind of freak me out.
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 526
i was always out having a good time, drinking socially then stopping, then drinking ... not really thinking about the consequences.
it wasn't until i realized that if i have a crappy day/morning (usually from drinking) i could just "cure" myself by having more to drink. i was self-medicating my anxiety and hangovers.
some days i really loved that feeling of being hungover and then miraculously feeling in this silly/hazed yet happy state of mind. all the while realizing that i have a problem, but hey it's just the weekend who cares.
by the time i admitted to myself that i have a serious problem it was too late. i became a drunk. even then i was drinking on impulses... i couldn't stand feeling all sad and in pain, so i would just drink more. then drinking during the week... rarely, but more and more. every occasion good or bad meant that i will reward or cure myself with a drink.
i'm glad i will never have to do that again. i don't have that option anymore
it wasn't until i realized that if i have a crappy day/morning (usually from drinking) i could just "cure" myself by having more to drink. i was self-medicating my anxiety and hangovers.
some days i really loved that feeling of being hungover and then miraculously feeling in this silly/hazed yet happy state of mind. all the while realizing that i have a problem, but hey it's just the weekend who cares.
by the time i admitted to myself that i have a serious problem it was too late. i became a drunk. even then i was drinking on impulses... i couldn't stand feeling all sad and in pain, so i would just drink more. then drinking during the week... rarely, but more and more. every occasion good or bad meant that i will reward or cure myself with a drink.
i'm glad i will never have to do that again. i don't have that option anymore
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Take a few minutes and read this...This made sense to me why I drank like I did.
The Doctor's Opinion
The Doctor's Opinion
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Houston, Texas
Posts: 568
It wasn't an event for me either. I drank way too much the first time I ever had a drink. I didn't drink often, but whenever I did it was too much. Gradually I started binge drinking once a weekend. Then both Friday and Saturday nights. Then the weekend started on Thursday and extended to Sunday night. Eventually I was drinking every single night.
No trauma or anything for me, I just loved to drink.
No trauma or anything for me, I just loved to drink.
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
I drank for the buzz, for the euphoria, to self medicate. I drank for my depression and anxiety - that worked great because drinking was causing the depression and anxiety after a while. A nice tidy self perpetuating system, right? There wasn't one particular event, it just sorta grew that way.
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 181
i start drinking in my teens because i used to get emabrassed so easily and would go red for anything, even if someone else farted i would go red and people would think it was me because i would sit there like a beetroot. i found i couldnt talk to many people or make many friends so the second i would talk to them id go bright red and id cut the converstaion short. people thought i was miserable and stuck up but it was because i couldnt interact with people without going red, i even left a course i wanted to do because people would remark on my blushing so i left. so i would drink so i could actually gain confidence to talk to people without blushing and it felt fantastic being able to engage in conversations with people without blushing so when i was drunk i would gob on so much to get everything out that i was bottling up when sober. people used to say they prefferred me drunk cos i opened up. when drunk i was laid, had fun, basically done everything i wish i had the courage to do sober. then i lost my father in a road accident which wasnt his fault and 3 month later whilst still grieving i fell pregnant and my boyfriend left me so when my son was born i start drinking to takeaway the pain i was feeling. through my dads death i would fret about every little thing, and i mean everything, i always thought something bad was looming round the corner so i drank as all my worrying went away. whe my dad died i argued with myself about"what if he pulled over for a few seconds longer, what if he slept in, what if this what if that" so i lived my life around thinking that a few seconds can make the difference between life and death so i got so bad that if i needed to travel in the car but needed the toilet before i left i would think "what if i got to the toilet and then something bad happens which may have been avoided if i didnt go" and then i would think "well if i dont go to the toilet then something bad might happen that could have been avoided if i did go" and that would go through my mind eveytime i needed to go anywhere and drink took all these stupid thoughts out of my mind
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