lhenderson

Hello Everybody, Just wanted to know if anybody out there has the same fear that I have as far as getting in front of people and telling my story. I now have a year clean and my sponsor feels it is time that I start speaking at meetings and I am petrified. Because of my addiction I do not remember a lot of what happened to me. I have such a huge fear of making a fool of myself up there. And just wanted to know am I the only one that feels this way. I have been to a lot of meetings where people are so smooth up there. I just know I am going to be all over the place. Need advice.

Dee74

I know a lot of people have a fear of public speaking, lh.

I'm not in AA but it's not like you're being judged is it? People genuinely want to hear your story?

I hope other AA members will be along to help

D

onlythetruth

Of course, many others feel as you do. One of the most common fears among ALL humans is the fear of public speaking! Some people are able to get over this, but many others are not. If it is terribly anxiety producing for you, then either you are not yet ready to speak publicly, or you are one of those folks for whom public speaking is not destined to be in your future. In either case, that's okay. The point is to quit drinking and lead a relatively happy life, not suffer through agonies to speak in front of a group. I am sure you are able to share your point of view in other ways.

Itchy

I am the opposite, and glad they have rules that all must be quiet, as I see many wanting to jump in and comment, as I do when another speaks. I would never have learned as much without all that listening. Lots of times folks will tell their story just after a meeting when they are touched by another, and give them some support. You can start that way, or never. See you are now feeling pressured by what you think are the expectations of others. And those only sting when we feel the same way. If you are going to speak, you will, when you are ready. I wasn't ready until my third or fourth meeting, and I am one of those never met a stranger public speaker and educator types.

Take what you can use, and leave the rest.

Tom88

I've been planning on attending meetings but am also scared of telling my story. I figured I would go and listen. I'm also afraid of seeing people I know there too but I guess its called narcotics anonymous for a reason

Sapling

You don't have to tell your story...You can introduce yourself and say you are new if you want...I'd recommend it. I just got asked to speak on Saturday night by somebody this afternoon lhenderson...And I've only done this once before. I'm going to do the same thing I did last time....Pray for the right words throughout the day...Start with what it was like when I got started and what happened as it progressed....What happened that made me finally stop...And how I ended up in AA and how I've made it a year sober. No notes...No nothing..Just speak from your heart lhenderson...You'll be awesome.

Sapling

Welcome to SR by the way Tom88....Start a New Thread and introduce yourself here.

tomsteve

yup. i had that fear when i was asked to do my1st open talk. my sponsor suggested sharing not what i did when i was drining/duggin, but what i used to be like, what happened,and what i'm like now and ask God to help me do it. i didnt puke or pass out, so it went good.

Dee74

welcome to SR Tom - good to have you here
read around and post as little or as much as you like

D

Sapling

That's always a good sign. I had an old timer tell me...You know you did it right when you can't remember anything you said...I guess I did it right.

Hevyn

I definitely have a problem with being self-conscious. My shyness is one of the reasons I drank. I hid from these situations - when what I needed to do was practice talking to people so I'd feel more comfortable. When I attended meetings and they'd go around the table asking everyone to introduce themselves - I'd usually choke up and cry. I was so emotional because I was newly sober and very shaky.

I listened for a long time, but the stronger I became I felt ready to share what I'd been through. It was just a little at first, but finally I was contributing quite a bit, and it was good to let it out and maybe help others not feel alone and scared. When you feel ready, I hope you share what you know and what you've been through. It'll do you good.

Hevyn

Welcome Tom88! Glad to see you here.

grateful850

I have the same problem! It's awful, I am 7 months sober and last week was at a meeting with only 5 ppl so they decided to go around the room and each of us tell our story. When my turn came I had so much anxiety I could barely speak or think. I'm starting to wonder now if I have clinical anxiety. I just dnt see it getting any better and its absolutely debilitating. I feel your pain. But the ones who have no problem talking say it gets better with practice

IndaMiricale

Well done, just in case you do it again maybe this might help . Here we say simply use the 3 B's when giving a lead. Be honest , Be brief, and Be seated. Its just something to take your mind off it, and just let your god do the work.

DisplacedGRITS

Do your journal, lhenderson? Try writing our your story or just parts of it that you would want to share or you think others could benefit from hearing. I don't mind speaking in public but i get scrambles and tend to wander when i speak so i'm not a good public speaker. I find making notes with specific points to keep myself on track help. Also, the more you share and speak in public the better you'll get. Just keep it short at first, don't get off topic and get your main point across. Hit all that and you can consider it a success. You can't succeed unless you give it a shot.

Zencat

I have that fear of speaking in front of a group of AA/NA people. I've done it before where there is a podium at the front of the room. I end up rambling in a circular way, lose my concentration and cut my talk short. That's whats happens when a panic attack hits me up there. But that's just me.

Fortunately there round table (square actually) discussions in my locality where I get to share where I sit. Maybe that kind of setting would be better for you.

How about practicing your talk in front of friends and family? That might help before you have to share your ES&H at a meeting. Like a rehearsal first to work out the kinks.

ACT10Npack

If you have 1 year of sobriety and don't feel the need to speak then why would you. Seem to me that your doing okay without talking in meetings. Never take sponsors advice to heart but by suggestion.

bryangt

It's often natural to feel a little uneasy about speaking in front of others. All I can tell you is that if you get up there & get started (talking) you will start to feel more at ease. And the feeling you feel after (at least for me) was one of great release. I get butterflies prior, but feel invigorated afterwards. And it gets easier as you continue. Plus, you've heard others speak, we all have a similar story to tell. Best of luck to you and know that you can do it!