Hooped

Don't really know where I am going with this.
Been a member here for a while, had some good sober time in the bank too.
For a while
I've lately fallen back into the void.
So I guess if you want to quit drinking , the first thing is...you have to want to?
I dont know what to do...AA meetings, Counselling, done them all yeah they all helped but now what?
How do you get back your self esteem where you want to help yourself cuz lately I really dont care?

doggonecarl

Seems like a part of you wants to get sober...you're here, reaching out.

You say you went to AA meetings. Did you get a sponsor? Work the steps?

How about other recovery methods? SMART, Rational Recovery? Rehab?

desertsong

Hey Hooped,

I'm sorry you're struggling. I know how that is. I tried to quit sooooo many times before I finally realized that all of my failed attempts had one thing in common .... I wasn't ready to totally give it up yet. I had to get to a horrible place where I was sick, demoralized, hopeless, and desperate. In the Big Book of AA, it says that "most alcoholics have to be pretty badly mangled" before they're ready to seek help and really do the work. That was definitely true for me.

You obviously want to stop or you wouldn't be here. What worked last time you got sober? If AA was working, go back. You said it helped ... when did it stop helping and why? Did you stop going to meetings? Stop doing the step work? The meetings are great and they do help, but the meetings aren't the program ... the step work and meeting with a sponsor are the program. If you liked AA and it was helping you, then go back, do the work, and stick with it. "It works if you work it."

If not, then maybe it's time to look into other options. But first, you need to ask yourself if you're really ready to stop. That's going to require some real honesty on your part. If you're not ready to stop, you won't. And if you're not ready to stop, then you also have to ask yourself .... what needs to happen to me before I AM ready? Jail? Hospital? Losing job and important relationships?

I feel for you, friend. I've been there. That "I don't care anymore" feeling is awful, but I think you really DO care. You're here. You're asking for our help. That says volumes.

If you want a better life (which I think you do), and if you are willing to do the work (which I think you are, since you've done it in the past), there is always hope. Don't give up. We're here to help. You can get this train back on the rails.

Elisabeth888

Go to a meeting and tell them you are a newcomer. You will have people helping you out like crazy.

pinkdog

I am sorry you are having a rough time. I do think the first step is admitting that it is a problem that you don't want. Think about the bad times it has caused you. Choose a life without those problems. You can do it. Try urge surfing to deal with the anxiety. I love it! Hugs.:ghug3

Anna

I'm sorry you're struggling and I remember how it felt when I really didn't care. For me, I had to take a leap of faith and just know that I had to do something. I wasn't going to survive if I didn't.

ReadyAndAble

Hey there, Hooped. Really good to see you posting here, my friend.

Does it help to turn the question around—why would you want to keep drinking? God knows I spent years putting it off. I knew what I should do, but I was afraid of what life would be like without alcohol. But you've already been there, you've seen how good it can feel, especially about yourself. Even when times are hard. Maybe especially when times are hard.

So why not quit?

I feel for you, man. I remember that feeling like it was yesterday.

endlesspatience

In terms of the don't care thing..... my observation is this. When I am on a spree or a bender or whatever you want to call it, I don't care. And you know what? I sort of don't care immediately afterwards about the consequences. Then, slowly, my body and brain start to function more normally and I realise I do care and just as importantly other people care. That's why I'm here tonight and that's why I went to a meeting. Trust me, my friend, I know that **** feeling you are going through right now. But if you can, please try to reach out (using the Forum if necessary), get a lot of water down your neck and if you possibly can, don't take a drink just for today. Then have a look at how things are tomorrow. There will still be problems but I suspect that you will care a little more than you do right now.

Dee74

When my addiction told me I didn't care, I still cared, Hooped.

Otherwise why would I spend hours dreaming of the life I should be living and the man I wanted to be?

differentiate what you want from what the disease is telling you you want.

The shortest answer I can give you man - is what to do?
Everything.

Fight this with everything you've got - leave no stone unturned.

Fight this like your life depends on it - cos it does, mate.
D

SASA

I know how it feels. I was there many times. Maybe setting some goals help? They helped me. I made a list of things I want to achieve and how I can contribute to the world in a good way. I know have it on my list to help at least one person per day with something. MAkes me feel good and important