change in perspective changes everything
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: CA
Posts: 317
change in perspective changes everything
I am proud of myself! I know my posts over the past 2 months have been sad because I have been sad...But tonight, as I lay here with my kids watching a movie I am so happy! For the first time since AH walked out on me I laughed with the kids...laughed hard from my gut type of laugh! I am peaceful. Sometimes Ill work myself up during the day or at night and then I use my newfound coping tools and the storm passes.
Of course everyday, all day I miss AH from the depth of my soul and it is right to do so...I am mourning the man he used to be and the man I hoped he'd become again. I can't engage and I just pray and love him from a distance. I don't know what will ever come of our marriage but for the first time in a long time, I'm making my own rules and not reacting to him and it feels so liberating!
Feels so good to have just let it go and realize I am powerless and sit back...not control anything! Hence, Step 1! Its not much but its something so I am going to pat myself on the back because no one else is going to do that for me. I am proud of myself. Thank you SR!
Of course everyday, all day I miss AH from the depth of my soul and it is right to do so...I am mourning the man he used to be and the man I hoped he'd become again. I can't engage and I just pray and love him from a distance. I don't know what will ever come of our marriage but for the first time in a long time, I'm making my own rules and not reacting to him and it feels so liberating!
Feels so good to have just let it go and realize I am powerless and sit back...not control anything! Hence, Step 1! Its not much but its something so I am going to pat myself on the back because no one else is going to do that for me. I am proud of myself. Thank you SR!
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: behind the viewfinder...
Posts: 6,278
I remember, a couple months after separating from my AH, my kids and I watched "Little Miss Sunshine." We all laughed so hard. And I remember thinking to myself later that night that I hadn't laughed out loud with abandon for years. It was a turning point for me, too. And even when I downsize, and purge all my DVD's, I will keep that one because it is a symbol of my recovery.
Go ahead and congratulate yourself. You deserve it!
L
Go ahead and congratulate yourself. You deserve it!
L
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: new moon road
Posts: 1,545
Great post, SW! It made me smile!
In a recent Al-Anon meeting I attended, one member said that Step One of the Twelve Steps ("We admitted we were powerless over alcohol and that our lives had become unmanageable") takes her out of the picture.
I loved that.
When we are out of the picture, the alcohol problem is all up to the alcoholic.
We have a life to get back to.
Good going, SW, and God bless your babies.
In a recent Al-Anon meeting I attended, one member said that Step One of the Twelve Steps ("We admitted we were powerless over alcohol and that our lives had become unmanageable") takes her out of the picture.
I loved that.
When we are out of the picture, the alcohol problem is all up to the alcoholic.
We have a life to get back to.
Good going, SW, and God bless your babies.
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Join Date: May 2006
Location: UK
Posts: 1,149
fabulous post, thank you so much for sharing it with us.
In the beginning of coming here when I was hurt and lost and confused and angry and didn't know which way was up, it felt sometimes like people were speaking a foreign language, I could just not get what people were talking about. My world-view was an oil tanker that had been developing and heading in one direction my whole life, and suddenly I was supposed to do an about turn, with no clue how to steer the darn thing.
Those first changes, which seemed to have small results took herculean effort because they required me to question and re-assess everything I thought I knew.
the first steps are the hardest, however small they seem: you're doing great
In the beginning of coming here when I was hurt and lost and confused and angry and didn't know which way was up, it felt sometimes like people were speaking a foreign language, I could just not get what people were talking about. My world-view was an oil tanker that had been developing and heading in one direction my whole life, and suddenly I was supposed to do an about turn, with no clue how to steer the darn thing.
Those first changes, which seemed to have small results took herculean effort because they required me to question and re-assess everything I thought I knew.
the first steps are the hardest, however small they seem: you're doing great
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