Back and Ashamed of myself...I did it again

Old 06-20-2012, 06:30 AM
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Back and Ashamed of myself...I did it again

Hi everyone....I've not been here in close to a yr

What brought me here was being in a string of dysfunctional relationships after my 11 yr marriage ended 12 yrs ago.
I was with 3 men since and all are addicts.

My ex from 2005 to 2010 is an alcoholic. I never knew he was since he was a responsible Dad, worker and had his life together (or so it seemed), I was with him a yr before I discovered his addictions.
In any case, being with him was brutal and what brought me to Al Anon (still in Al Anon 3 yrs later) and what brought me to this site.
I left him close to 2 yrs ago because I finally caught him cheating. I say finally cause I had suspected for 2 yrs before I caught him. I left him right away, but still spoke to him here and there (never saw him).
Then cut off all contact, but a yr ago, brought him back into my life as a friend (nothing physical at all) and he made a pathetic amends to me. I never had real closure, but the 'friendship" only lasted a month when I realized he was just a crazy as when I left him. So cut him off again and never spoke to him and never will.
After this guy, I swore I would never go with another addict who was abusive. I had al anon under my belt, a great therapist and was moving on.....

But it didn't work.....

My reasons for being back here are, back 17 months ago, I met a guy who was a total and insane mess. In the first week I met him, he told me he was in and out or prison, committed crimes for most of his life (bank robbery and murdered a guy in a bad drug deal), was in anger management in prison, had a seriously abusive upbringing, had a string of failed relationships and here is the kicker, he told me he was diagnosed in prison with Anti Social Personality disorder.
With all of this info, I was NOT interested in associating with this guy, but he would call me daily and he seemed so far from the person he admitted to. He was sweet, calm and just seemed like a lost soul.
When I told him that Anti Social Personality disorder meant a "Sociopath" he said he knew but didn't get it cause he felt remorse and guilt.
He also moved to my city 10 yrs ago to change his life. He had not done any crime, got a trade, a great job, had a nice place and was trying to change his life.
I felt for it hook, line and sinker cause I am raging codie and thought I could help him
Not to mention, he is the hottest man I've ever seen,
We had a friendship that got intimate and the sex was amazing. I was lonely and went into denial about who this person was or is

He would admit so much about who he was and every time he did, I was turned off and wanted to be away, but could not.
This went on for 5 months, then I found out, the entire time he was seeing me, he had a GF. I freaked out!
He added me to FB and I would post stuff and I would see other women post stuff, so had no idea he had a GF. She was on his FB and never made a peep
When I found out, I ended all physical contact with him. He stuck around, continued to call me and we stay friends.
The old me who had integrity would have told this ahole to get lost and never speak to him again.

Then one day I realized I could not do this to me or his GF, so I ended all contact with him. Two days after that, he told me she found all our txt msg'es we shared, she freaked and he dumper her.
He came to me days later to tell me and told me he had strong feelings for me and wanted to be with me.
There was NO WAY in hell I was going to be in a relationship with this guy, but over days he convinced me, or rather I convinced myself. And there it was, we were together.
Every single day I knew it was wrong, but stayed.
And if anyone knows anything about a Sociopath, they are notorious pathological liars. I was always catching him in dumb lies. They are also notorious cheaters, but convinced me he only cheated on this last girl. He admitted to cheating on her 4 times. With women he would just meet on the street and go have sex with. I was shocked, cause he didn't behave that way.
I knew I was in trouble but was scared to leave cause I didn't want to be away from him or be alone

Anyway, he was becoming verbally abusive, telling me "You just need to shut your f*ucking mouth" or "I'm one bad day away from going back to jail or punching you"
"Everything bad about us is your fault"

Of course I knew this was NUTS, but still clung on. Then one day I told him we need a few days to calm down and then talk. Next day, he dumps me (he's never been dumped), but insists we stay friends.
He called me and talked to me every day like nothing changed.
And yet, I still pleaded with him to not do this. I was beside myself with my own stupidity!

Anyway, there is more, but 3 weeks ago, he got so verbally abusive with me on the phone because he was telling me the day before he still loved me and missed me, but I found out he was seeing someone else. When I gently asked him about it, he called me a moron, told me to shut my mouth, told me to go f myself etc
I cut him off totally from there.
Now 3 weeks later, I still feel so destroyed and not cause I lost him, but because after 3 yrs of al anon, tons of previous heartache and lots of therapy, I still CHOSE to be with a person like him

In what alternate universe did I think being with a person like this was a good idea??
I've never sunk so low
The mental part, he gets TONS Of women and he tells all of them the same things he told me. Are women that weak!? Do we want to fix these sick men that badly?

I don't come from this. I have no addiction in my family, my parents are happily married after 55 yrs and I have tons of great friends and have so many good things in my life....

I've never been more depressed in my life.....I told all my friends and family this truth and my parents PLEADED with me to stop this, to get help and just please never see this person again.
Seeing my 80 yr old Dad, shake and cry and plead with me was more than I could take.

I'm so ashamed
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Old 06-20-2012, 07:11 AM
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Breathe.

You are not alone. You are so not alone. There are so many people out there who repeat the behaviors you describe. Going back, against all logic.
I am especially familiar with the verbal abuse you describe, and the cheating. I had to put a stop to my shame, it was consuming me, but not before I allowed the anger of it to well up, because the anger is what enabled me to move out of that space.

One method that worked and still does: See yourself as a friend of yourself. Tell yourself what a friend would say. Another take on this: See yourself as a child, the child that does not want to be alone. GIve that child the reassurance and love that you fear losing from the abusive person.
HEaling the child that is afraid to leave is where I am right now.

As far as being involved with a Narcissist or sociopath, please look up personality disorders, search a website called OutoftheFog.com.
Read up on NPD, and make the resolve to heal the elements of yourself who still tend to get involved in these types of dynamics.

Narcissists do not feel remorse, they see life as a constant stream of sources of supply. They have poor impulse control, cannot maintain intimacy. They aggress upon people who love them, because they make no sense to them, but they need the supply, so they keep hooking you back in.

The only way to solve the issue, as you have done with someone like this is NO COntact.
HE sounds kind of extreme. He sounds like mor ethan an A, or even a dry drunk or whatever.
Protect yourself.
I know how hard it is to feel like alanoan isnt 'working', or that you are not learning.
For me, it was about not APPLYING what I learned. I got so much information and I got it, intelectually, but did not apply it for a long time.

Reading about personality disorder in your case I think would really help you. But, in no way take this as an excuse for his treatment of you.

As they say on that site, outofthefog, "There are very few people who actually do not know what they are doing is wrong, or hurtful. With personality disordered people, you have someone who knows it, but does not have the ability to care about it."

Please keep posting. ANother great resource is "the Stop Walking on Eggshells Workbook".

This is for people who deal with a Borderline personality,but I find it is extremely helpful in all my relationships. And it really is a hands on step by step processing of the main points of Alanon: The three Cs, and detaching with Love, and identifying and making boundaries. It is helping me IMMENSELY. (Amazon, like 12 bucks).

Thats all I got, hope it helps you
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Old 06-20-2012, 07:14 AM
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Hey peach, not sure what to say but man I feel for you. Mel had an effect on me that was beyond reason so I can relate. I did some stupid things. I'll never forgive myself for the exposure to toxicity risk I put my kids at.
Originally Posted by Summerpeach View Post
Seeing my 80 yr old Dad, shake and cry and plead with me was more than I could take.
Wow... that would be a big motivator for me.
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Old 06-20-2012, 07:24 AM
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I could say alot here right, all the stuff you are saying to yourself, beating yourself up, it does no good.

What courage it must have taken you to post this.

It happens honey, some things we have to learn a couple of times, and I am sure you have grown from this. Your parents clearly love you, we do too. Time to pick up and move forward. Please don't beat yourself up, keep working your recovery, forgive yourself, seek the lessons , there is nothing any of us can do to change what has already happened, it's only the next minute that we can look at with more healthy eyes. And stay away from that guy

It's okay, it really is, Keep posting, get it all out. We are here to listen.

sending you lots of love and continued healing to you.

Katie :ghug3
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Old 06-20-2012, 07:53 AM
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Thanks everyone
Buffalo, he's a drug addict and not an alcoholic, but same deal right?!
Since my ex before him (the one I was with for 5 yrs) was a Narc (I wrote about this when I was last here) I've read so many books, sites and talked to my therapist about personality disorders, I can write book on them. I also made a thread a long time ago about how I believe all addictions are symptoms of emotional and personality disorders.....but that's another topic

I was diagnosed with PTSD back 2 yrs ago from something that occurred with my ex back 12 yr ago. My therapist felt this was the cause of much of my bad choices and actions.
I'm returning to therapy in 2 weeks
All the healing tools I've used in the past to overcome are not working this time

Anvil, the thing is, all responses of flight were in full gear, I thought this guy was such a loser, but then when we would meet to hang or talk, he was different than what he talked about. I was in denial to the fact that he was really a sick person.
But there is some sensors off in me from all these 12 yrs of trouble I've created for myself.

Katie, it took me courage to tell my family and friends since I knew what their reaction would be. And the irony, is I am a Naturopathic Practitioner in full swing in my practice and I heal others for a living. Great job for a codie, so feel SO humiliated that I lowered myself to be with this guy.
I'm having a TOUGH time with forgiving myself this time. It's not like he hid his insanity from me, he told me all about it in the first week I knew him.

My pain is greater now than ever...not from not being around him, but from my own failures.
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Old 06-20-2012, 07:57 AM
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Originally Posted by Jazzman View Post
Hey peach, not sure what to say but man I feel for you. Mel had an effect on me that was beyond reason so I can relate. I did some stupid things. I'll never forgive myself for the exposure to toxicity risk I put my kids at.

Wow... that would be a big motivator for me.
It's now my main motivation since it killed me to see my strong, well put together distinguished Dad crying to me.
I do not want my parents to die without seeing me happy.
I was happy many years ago with my ex of 11 yrs. Then life came crashing down.....

Not sure how I'll heal this time.....I feel dead...really
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Old 06-20-2012, 08:21 AM
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fter 3 yrs of al anon, tons of previous heartache and lots of therapy, I still CHOSE to be with a person like him

In what alternate universe did I think being with a person like this was a good idea??
Recovery is a life-long thing, friend.
Let me tell you a story from my life.

I was invited to a dinner party at friends' house. One of the people at the party was an obnoxious loudmouth guy who dominated the conversation, took over all conversation threads, and made it about HIM. And his excellence and awards and how he won Best Salesman of the Year five years in a row. Etc., etc., etc. It was embarrassing. You know how someone can be so clueless that you get embarrassed for them? Yeah.

I helped the hostess clear the table before dessert, and mentioned something about this guy in the kitchen -- something like "wow that guy really has a lot of stories to tell huh?" intended to show sympathy with her for having the party ruined by this loudmouth. She responded by telling me that he was an old family friend whose wife had accused him of physically abusing her throughout their marriage; she had gotten a restraining order against him and he hadn't seen his kids in almost a year because of it -- and it was all just the wife making it up...

I returned to the table, and found to my immense shock that the annoying loudmouth all of a sudden had become almost irresistibly attractive to me. If I hadn't promised to be designated driver for two other friends, I would have gone home with him that night. Seriously.

I don't know where it is we're broken, but I know that being aware of it, and knowing that it's a pathological reaction that goes against our instincts for self-preservation makes all the difference in the world.

I like to think of it as those (very few) people who don't feel pain. They'll die an early death if they don't learn to work around their disability. Until you manage to identify those situations as danger zones, you just have to work around them.

I'm in a solid relationship with a solid man now. But I can still get attracted to dangerous slimeballs. I like to ridicule myself when it happens. Say things to myself like, "So -- you think you could fix this guy huh? You know, while you're at it, why don't you move Hawaii a little closer to the mainland and deal with the situation in the Middle East?" That's usually enough to wake me up...

We're not supposed to give advice here. But I will say one thing: Stop beating yourself up. That does no good. When you know better, you do better. Harsh lesson learned. Keep that in mind as you move forward. And keep working on recovery. Hugs!!!
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Old 06-20-2012, 08:22 AM
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Hi Peach,

glad to see you, sorry for the reason!

is blaming yourself and being ashamed helping you at all? if not, I'd try and dump it.

he found your hooks and he played you, your red flag triggers went off - but for whatever reason you didn't fully protect yourself from the risk any contact with him posed for you.

I've been known to do similar, and I realised there were a couple of subconcious core thoughts/beliefs I had going on - one was that it was childish and immature to cut all contact with someone, that "adults"" should be able to maintain an aquaintance/friendship no matter how unsuited they are romantically - which I'm told is rubbish, and that there are some people I should just stay the heck away from.

that and I forget/accept intolerable past behaviour too easily in a belief that everyone deserves a second chance/a chance to change/prove they've changed and that if I don't I'm not being fair. apparently that's rubbish too, I don't have to give anyone a first chance let alone a second or gazillionth.

these may not chime with you, but it was very illuminating (and freeing) to work that out about myself (with a therapist)
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Old 06-20-2012, 08:27 AM
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I am so sorry. I am guessing you are older (going by your parent's marriage term). I also had no experience with addiction and found out my BF had an alcohol history after 4 years. I do love him and have stuck by him through a couple relapses. But he is a kind, loving person who is successful and normally treats me like gold. I feel he is worth it. Having said that, though I am over 60 and actually still pretty desirable -- after this one, I am done. My daughter can't understand why I don't just go find some "great" guy. I happen to think mine is a great guy but nevertheless -- if something goes South with this one -- I do not plan to get in another relationship. I will try to fill up my need to be a helper type by making this world a better place in another way. I will help build community gardens, work at Habitat, help elect good reps -- you know the drill. Maybe even join an Intentional Community.

Don't be so hard on yourself -- it is really, really hard for nice women to find a suitable companion after a certain age. Any man over 50 that I would even consider dating (and have dated) left me for a woman in her thirties. It just seems to be biology. I love my guy, but even he is a pain in the ass. Women seem to think we are failures if we aren't "with" someone.

I know this sounds easy to say -- but my recommendation to you is just to swear off men for awhile. Get your own life in order, save some money, help small lost children -- find something that brings you passion beyond helping addicts who most probably have a personality disorder. Read up on Narcissism, Anti-Social, and Borderline Personality Disorder. Lately, my favorite read is Emotional Intelligence and Social Intelligence -- a real eye opener. Many alcoholics are just dealing with a disease process that once dealt with reveals a great worthwhile human being. But some addicts are simply too emotionally damaged to rescue. Don't waste your precious time.
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Old 06-20-2012, 08:27 AM
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Originally Posted by Summerpeach View Post
My pain is greater now than ever...not from not being around him, but from my own failures.
I think this is so important in your journey of recovery! My last "serious" relationship, where I was engaged for 15 months, was the one that brought me to my knees.

The pain was finally great enough that I knew I had to do something different.

Like you, I had warning bells going off all over, but I was at a very vulnerable place in my life (which was a pattern with me with men), and it was very "heady" for me to be charmed and adored. In looking back, I see the manipulations, and we were two sick people.

I completely understand the shame. It took me 12 long years after getting into long-term recovery from my addictions/alcoholism before I hit a bottom in codependency and men.

I am a very slow learner.

Sending you hugs of support!
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Old 06-20-2012, 08:55 AM
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Originally Posted by lillamy View Post
Recovery is a life-long thing, friend.
Let me tell you a story from my life.

I was invited to a dinner party at friends' house. One of the people at the party was an obnoxious loudmouth guy who dominated the conversation, took over all conversation threads, and made it about HIM. And his excellence and awards and how he won Best Salesman of the Year five years in a row. Etc., etc., etc. It was embarrassing. You know how someone can be so clueless that you get embarrassed for them? Yeah.

I helped the hostess clear the table before dessert, and mentioned something about this guy in the kitchen -- something like "wow that guy really has a lot of stories to tell huh?" intended to show sympathy with her for having the party ruined by this loudmouth. She responded by telling me that he was an old family friend whose wife had accused him of physically abusing her throughout their marriage; she had gotten a restraining order against him and he hadn't seen his kids in almost a year because of it -- and it was all just the wife making it up...

I returned to the table, and found to my immense shock that the annoying loudmouth all of a sudden had become almost irresistibly attractive to me. If I hadn't promised to be designated driver for two other friends, I would have gone home with him that night. Seriously.

I don't know where it is we're broken, but I know that being aware of it, and knowing that it's a pathological reaction that goes against our instincts for self-preservation makes all the difference in the world.

I like to think of it as those (very few) people who don't feel pain. They'll die an early death if they don't learn to work around their disability. Until you manage to identify those situations as danger zones, you just have to work around them.

I'm in a solid relationship with a solid man now. But I can still get attracted to dangerous slimeballs. I like to ridicule myself when it happens. Say things to myself like, "So -- you think you could fix this guy huh? You know, while you're at it, why don't you move Hawaii a little closer to the mainland and deal with the situation in the Middle East?" That's usually enough to wake me up...

We're not supposed to give advice here. But I will say one thing: Stop beating yourself up. That does no good. When you know better, you do better. Harsh lesson learned. Keep that in mind as you move forward. And keep working on recovery. Hugs!!!
Some great advice and I appreciate and welcome all advice.

In some way, I didn't want to fix him, but really think being with him was more a reflection of how I felt about myself at the time.
Even though I was away from the last ex, working my program and starting anew, some part of my trauma just brought me into his path.
I was SO NOT INTO this guy (even with his great looks) when I met him, he would call me and I would roll my eyes on the phone with his dumb stories. Or he would come to my house and tell me prison stories and I would think, poor dude!
Then it was just easy to slip into the role.......ugh!

I've never in my life been attracted to slim balls.....it's like I'm going lower and lower, even with all the al anon and help.

thanks so much
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Old 06-20-2012, 08:57 AM
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Originally Posted by JenT1968 View Post
Hi Peach,

glad to see you, sorry for the reason!

is blaming yourself and being ashamed helping you at all? if not, I'd try and dump it.

he found your hooks and he played you, your red flag triggers went off - but for whatever reason you didn't fully protect yourself from the risk any contact with him posed for you.

I've been known to do similar, and I realised there were a couple of subconcious core thoughts/beliefs I had going on - one was that it was childish and immature to cut all contact with someone, that "adults"" should be able to maintain an aquaintance/friendship no matter how unsuited they are romantically - which I'm told is rubbish, and that there are some people I should just stay the heck away from.

that and I forget/accept intolerable past behaviour too easily in a belief that everyone deserves a second chance/a chance to change/prove they've changed and that if I don't I'm not being fair. apparently that's rubbish too, I don't have to give anyone a first chance let alone a second or gazillionth.

these may not chime with you, but it was very illuminating (and freeing) to work that out about myself (with a therapist)
Love this...thank you.

I cannot or would not be friends with an ex. He wanted it, I didn't, he kept calling, I kept trying to convince him to change his mind. Then I cut him off when he really got verbal with me.

Why I even accepted the way he was in the first place is mind boggling
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Old 06-20-2012, 09:01 AM
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Originally Posted by LOVINGRA View Post
I am so sorry. I am guessing you are older (going by your parent's marriage term). I also had no experience with addiction and found out my BF had an alcohol history after 4 years. I do love him and have stuck by him through a couple relapses. But he is a kind, loving person who is successful and normally treats me like gold. I feel he is worth it. Having said that, though I am over 60 and actually still pretty desirable -- after this one, I am done. My daughter can't understand why I don't just go find some "great" guy. I happen to think mine is a great guy but nevertheless -- if something goes South with this one -- I do not plan to get in another relationship. I will try to fill up my need to be a helper type by making this world a better place in another way. I will help build community gardens, work at Habitat, help elect good reps -- you know the drill. Maybe even join an Intentional Community.

Don't be so hard on yourself -- it is really, really hard for nice women to find a suitable companion after a certain age. Any man over 50 that I would even consider dating (and have dated) left me for a woman in her thirties. It just seems to be biology. I love my guy, but even he is a pain in the ass. Women seem to think we are failures if we aren't "with" someone.

I know this sounds easy to say -- but my recommendation to you is just to swear off men for awhile. Get your own life in order, save some money, help small lost children -- find something that brings you passion beyond helping addicts who most probably have a personality disorder. Read up on Narcissism, Anti-Social, and Borderline Personality Disorder. Lately, my favorite read is Emotional Intelligence and Social Intelligence -- a real eye opener. Many alcoholics are just dealing with a disease process that once dealt with reveals a great worthwhile human being. But some addicts are simply too emotionally damaged to rescue. Don't waste your precious time.
I'm 46, but look younger so I have a few good years left yet to find a good man ;-)
The things is, I get hit on all the time by great men I am sure, but I despise being hit on. I run when a man hits on me.
I'm going to swear off men for a while, but I say that whenever I'm single, then there is always someone that comes along.
I need to face this part of my recovery in much different ways.
Like I said above, I've read up on PD's for years so know a lot about them,.....can't even look at another morsel of info on it or I'll scream.

This ex and my last cannot be fixed. AA or not, they are broken for life.

I don't feel like a failure being single again, but I do want to have a happy relationship and find a great guy for sure.
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Old 06-20-2012, 09:03 AM
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Originally Posted by Freedom1990 View Post
I think this is so important in your journey of recovery! My last "serious" relationship, where I was engaged for 15 months, was the one that brought me to my knees.

The pain was finally great enough that I knew I had to do something different.

Like you, I had warning bells going off all over, but I was at a very vulnerable place in my life (which was a pattern with me with men), and it was very "heady" for me to be charmed and adored. In looking back, I see the manipulations, and we were two sick people.

I completely understand the shame. It took me 12 long years after getting into long-term recovery from my addictions/alcoholism before I hit a bottom in codependency and men.

I am a very slow learner.

Sending you hugs of support!
this brought me to my knees.....no doubt. I thought the last guy was rock bottom, but this one takes the cake. I've never had so much depression and pain.
For sure I was SUPER vulnerable when he came around.
I seem to be a slower learner as well.......bleh!
Thanks for your suppport
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Old 06-20-2012, 09:28 AM
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Well, I see all of the three A's going on here (awareness, acceptance, action) so I'd say you are back on track and headed in a much healthier direction already! So I agree with lillamy, don't beat yourself up over it. Just brush the dust off your feet and move on to greener pastures. You are doing good already, feel proud of yourself for that!

We can be so darn hard on ourselves sometimes. I am thankful I have some solid family and friends around to remind me when I am falling into that trap. I did the best I could at the time, I assume you were, as well.

Stay strong!
~T
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Old 06-20-2012, 09:44 AM
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Summerpeach,

I completely identify with you. You are not alone. I am learning to forgive myself for dating a series of men who I KNEW were not good for me. I dated and gave so much of myself to men who did not make sense because I am a true Codie (thinking I can help/fix them) and because I am afraid of being alone forever.

I TOTALLY understand dating someone like this insane, hot mess, you described because I convinced myself he was something he was not.

I try to remember the quote by Maya Angelou, "when someone tells you about themselves...believe them." So, I try to pay more attention when someone basically tells me they are a loser. As much as the Codie in me wants to convince me and that person that he is not...it is usually true. This is because people live up to their expectations of themselves. So, when a man tells me, "Well, I am pretty lazy. I mean, I kinda make an effort to go to work everyday, to wash my dishes and keep my apartment clean, I slack off." That is not a queue for me to correct him and say, "oh you are not a lazy so and so." That is a queue for me to nod my head and make a mental to note to run far, far way. Crawl, walk, run, jump, and fly from dysfunctional people who tell me they are dysfunctional!

I am rambling now, but don't feel alone. And don't feel bad for making mistakes that you know are wrong. Sometimes our slip-ups just reinforce what we already know.

Take care of yourself and be sweet to yourself.

Many

Love,

~Lily
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Old 06-20-2012, 10:09 AM
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I agree -- I don't think it is until we don't really need to be with anyone (financially or emotionally) that we are able to be cautious and decipher warning signals in the wrong person. I am 60 and also look much younger (about 45) -- my BF is 15 years younger. He pursued me; I did not pursue him. Nothing changes much with time or age.

I don't need anyone financially, thank goodness. It was always that I felt like my life wasn't worthwhile without someone. I was married for 25 years and have been in about 5 serious long term relationships since. I really don't have that much time left at this point, but again, if this one ends -- I think I will find some other way to make my life worthwhile rather than some man I am constantly catering to -- with or without an addiction. And I do adore this one -- I just don't want my very happiness or sense of self-worth to depend on any man.
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Old 06-20-2012, 10:10 AM
  # 18 (permalink)  
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I was working my own recovery from an eating disorder when I met, fell in love and married my exAH.

I have been angry recently like that relationship in some way set my recovery back.

Honestly I think it just scraped away at another layer of healing that I might not have been able to get to without it. I don't want to do it again, so am trying to heal not just myself, but myself in relationships now. Not saying it is easy, but it feels more gentle with myself. Yes I need to heal, but that in and of itself shifts my relationship choices...and I was not at that point when I met my exAH.

Good for you for continuing your recovery.
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Old 06-20-2012, 10:12 AM
  # 19 (permalink)  
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I'm 46, but look younger so I have a few good years left yet to find a good man ;-)
I met a lady in Al-Anon years ago whose abusive AH died when they were in their 50s.
She met the love of her life when she was 75.
So there's no hurry.
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Old 06-20-2012, 11:30 AM
  # 20 (permalink)  
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Summerpeach until you can find happiness and security within yourself, you won't find it in a relationship. I'm just wondering where you are going to meet such a person?
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