Hello! Introduction from me :)
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,359
Hello! Introduction from me :)
Good morning everybody 
I have been thinking for a long time now about quitting my destructive drinking habit. I had taken steps to cut down and was drinking 3/4 times a week instead of 7... basically every other day. Where did this leave me? With a hangover every other day!
I'm 36 now and aside from 2 pregnancies I have been drinking pretty much since I was 17. It's really starting to take it's toll now. I feel tired constantly, grumpy, my skin looks awful, I'm overweight, I have stomach problems...
2 weeks ago I was on holiday and my drinking really escalated again and rather than the usual wine I pretty much survived my time on vodka. This continued on my return and I was seriously worried about how I was going to come down from this... Well I've managed to lower and lower my units by switching to a few glasses of wine instead. Last night I didn't even finish what I had just thought pfffft do I really want to feel bad AGAIN tomorrow?
As a result I feel ok this morning. So I guess day 1 for me.
I'm under no illusion as to how hard this is going to be. I haven't managed a week sober in over 2 years. I often get to day 3 or 4 and cave in. Anxiety is my main problem - I know it's a vicious circle with that one.
All I can do is give it a go. If I slip up, I start again, try try again, and try some more until I get there I guess. Never give up giving up!
Meetings are out of the question for me for many personal reasons I dont really wish to discuss. Hoping to find some lovely support here and an outlet for me to waffle away about how I am feeling.
Thanks for reading!
MTN xx
I have been thinking for a long time now about quitting my destructive drinking habit. I had taken steps to cut down and was drinking 3/4 times a week instead of 7... basically every other day. Where did this leave me? With a hangover every other day!
I'm 36 now and aside from 2 pregnancies I have been drinking pretty much since I was 17. It's really starting to take it's toll now. I feel tired constantly, grumpy, my skin looks awful, I'm overweight, I have stomach problems...
2 weeks ago I was on holiday and my drinking really escalated again and rather than the usual wine I pretty much survived my time on vodka. This continued on my return and I was seriously worried about how I was going to come down from this... Well I've managed to lower and lower my units by switching to a few glasses of wine instead. Last night I didn't even finish what I had just thought pfffft do I really want to feel bad AGAIN tomorrow?
As a result I feel ok this morning. So I guess day 1 for me.
I'm under no illusion as to how hard this is going to be. I haven't managed a week sober in over 2 years. I often get to day 3 or 4 and cave in. Anxiety is my main problem - I know it's a vicious circle with that one.
All I can do is give it a go. If I slip up, I start again, try try again, and try some more until I get there I guess. Never give up giving up!
Meetings are out of the question for me for many personal reasons I dont really wish to discuss. Hoping to find some lovely support here and an outlet for me to waffle away about how I am feeling.
Thanks for reading!
MTN xx
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: The Sooner State
Posts: 1,725
Welcome to day 1 and SR! You will love it hear. There are tons of long time sobers that lend alot of support & wisdom. Its exhausting going back and forth...Im sober..today I darank...this is day...crap I drank again. It took forever for me to understand the only time Im not miserable & exhausted is when Im sober. Im a slow learner though
Recovering
Join Date: May 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,361
Hey there MyTimeNow
Glad you're here starting a new life. I'm new (60 days) to this. I found the first couple of weeks utterly miserable, but then things really improved over the next few weeks. At 60 days I'm now having difficulty remembering the last craving. That could of course simply mean my memory is shot ;-)
God bless you.
Glad you're here starting a new life. I'm new (60 days) to this. I found the first couple of weeks utterly miserable, but then things really improved over the next few weeks. At 60 days I'm now having difficulty remembering the last craving. That could of course simply mean my memory is shot ;-)
God bless you.
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: London
Posts: 1,384
Hi and welcome ! I am at a 160 days today, and I can honestly say its the best thing I have ever done. Yes at times its tough and cravings can be relentless but after a while things will improve , I now feel things I have not felt for over 30 years. Great support and people on this site. You are missing nothing by stopping and gaining everything.
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: UK
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Thanks for the kind welcome everybody Well done on 60 days Michael and you too Dark Days on 160 - great stuff! If I can break this 3/4 day cycle then I know I can make it to a week and then onto another week...
I'm going to have to put some plans in place and get busy. I do find it difficult in the evenings as I am alone once the kids are in bed and that's always my downtime phew... and relax...
and feel rubbish and grumpy in the morning
I've been reading round the rest of the site, so much great information on here. Certainly lots to think about and take on board!
Catch you all later
MTN xx
Well done on 60 days Michael and you too Dark Days on 160 - great stuff! If I can break this 3/4 day cycle then I know I can make it to a week and then onto another week...I'm going to have to put some plans in place and get busy. I do find it difficult in the evenings as I am alone once the kids are in bed and that's always my downtime phew... and relax...
and feel rubbish and grumpy in the morning
I've been reading round the rest of the site, so much great information on here. Certainly lots to think about and take on board!
Catch you all later
MTN xx
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,145
Welcome to SR! You'll find endless amounts of information and advice here, should you need it. I am also new to sobriety (almost three months now) so I'm still finding my feet, but I can say that as time passes, and you have that under your belt, things do get so much easier. Once you start passing milestones, for some one day, for some one week, or for some one month, you start feeling that you really CAN do this. All you have to do is get through those days... however hard it may be... and remember that, at some point in the future, it could be you saying "I've been sober for a year" - it takes a lot of determination and will power, and much telling ourselves we CAN do this, but it is worth it... so very worth it... in the end. Good luck to you and congratulations on making this decision!
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: UK
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Thank you MrsKing and Live2Run 
Today has been difficult! Normally on a day 1 I'd be fine solely due to the fact that i'd have a raging hangover, so wouldn't want to drink.
It started ok, quite a lazy day with my youngest, she fell asleep on the sofa so peace, quiet and book time for me Then I started getting a little antsy about 3 so cooked an early dinner when eldest came back from school.
More antsy-ness so decided to mow the back garden - big garden, almost big mistake! I got so stressed doing it as it has gotten so long with the rain in the UK that I just thought Aaaargh I want a drink!!! Finshed off, came in, saw the half bottle of wine on the side from last night, picked it up and tipped it down the sink!!! Yay!
I'm sitting with a sugary cup of tea counting down to 7pm when both me and my 3 year old will be going to bed.
Tomorrow is going to be tough as I know the anxiety will kick in
Thanks again for all the kind welcoming messages. Sorry for waffling on!
Today has been difficult! Normally on a day 1 I'd be fine solely due to the fact that i'd have a raging hangover, so wouldn't want to drink.
It started ok, quite a lazy day with my youngest, she fell asleep on the sofa so peace, quiet and book time for me
Then I started getting a little antsy about 3 so cooked an early dinner when eldest came back from school.More antsy-ness so decided to mow the back garden - big garden, almost big mistake! I got so stressed doing it as it has gotten so long with the rain in the UK that I just thought Aaaargh I want a drink!!! Finshed off, came in, saw the half bottle of wine on the side from last night, picked it up and tipped it down the sink!!! Yay!
I'm sitting with a sugary cup of tea counting down to 7pm when both me and my 3 year old will be going to bed.
Tomorrow is going to be tough as I know the anxiety will kick in
Thanks again for all the kind welcoming messages. Sorry for waffling on!
Run to live... live to run
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Western Maryland
Posts: 1,091
Originally Posted by MyTimeNow 
Thank you MrsKing and Live2Run
Today has been difficult! Normally on a day 1 I'd be fine solely due to the fact that i'd have a raging hangover, so wouldn't want to drink.
It started ok, quite a lazy day with my youngest, she fell asleep on the sofa so peace, quiet and book time for me Then I started getting a little antsy about 3 so cooked an early dinner when eldest came back from school.
More antsy-ness so decided to mow the back garden - big garden, almost big mistake! I got so stressed doing it as it has gotten so long with the rain in the UK that I just thought Aaaargh I want a drink!!! Finshed off, came in, saw the half bottle of wine on the side from last night, picked it up and tipped it down the sink!!! Yay!
I'm sitting with a sugary cup of tea counting down to 7pm when both me and my 3 year old will be going to bed.
Tomorrow is going to be tough as I know the anxiety will kick in
Thanks again for all the kind welcoming messages. Sorry for waffling on!
Today has been difficult! Normally on a day 1 I'd be fine solely due to the fact that i'd have a raging hangover, so wouldn't want to drink.
It started ok, quite a lazy day with my youngest, she fell asleep on the sofa so peace, quiet and book time for me
Then I started getting a little antsy about 3 so cooked an early dinner when eldest came back from school.More antsy-ness so decided to mow the back garden - big garden, almost big mistake! I got so stressed doing it as it has gotten so long with the rain in the UK that I just thought Aaaargh I want a drink!!! Finshed off, came in, saw the half bottle of wine on the side from last night, picked it up and tipped it down the sink!!! Yay!
I'm sitting with a sugary cup of tea counting down to 7pm when both me and my 3 year old will be going to bed.
Tomorrow is going to be tough as I know the anxiety will kick in
Thanks again for all the kind welcoming messages. Sorry for waffling on!
Sounds like you have the right idea!! Find somethign to do when you get ansty! Maybe even just take a stroll, or take the youngest to a nearby park! Whatever you do is better than picking up! You got this!
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,359
Originally Posted by Live2Run25
Sounds like you have the right idea!! Find somethign to do when you get ansty! Maybe even just take a stroll, or take the youngest to a nearby park! Whatever you do is better than picking up! You got this!
I've just noticed a whole lot more on the Class of June thread so I'll be joining in there tomorrow.
Just sitting looking out at the garden, not quite tennis court standard but looks good enough to me. I hate that job more than anything so have only ever done it with a drink on the go as a 'reward'
Catch you all tomorrow. Think we'll wind down for bed now
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome MyTimeNow!
Excellent job of pouring that wine down the sink! Get lots of vitamins (they say the B vitamins are what most drinkers are deficient in). Eating helps with the cravings, too.
The anxiety will subside, so hang in there. I'm glad you're here - we know what it's like and you don't have to go through this alone!
Excellent job of pouring that wine down the sink! Get lots of vitamins (they say the B vitamins are what most drinkers are deficient in). Eating helps with the cravings, too.
The anxiety will subside, so hang in there. I'm glad you're here - we know what it's like and you don't have to go through this alone!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 14
Did you know there are real on-line meetings you can attend? You don't have to go in person.
I strongly recommend some sort of support group. Also if you feel your cravings returning, maybe see a doc who can help you wean off? Alcoholism is not simply a matter of will power. You have been drinking for so long that your body, your brain, your liver, your organs (not just your mind) crave it. Alcohol will be your medicine for so long as your body craves it, and you may need help to get past that. That is the main people relapse -- not because they are "weak-willed."
I strongly recommend some sort of support group. Also if you feel your cravings returning, maybe see a doc who can help you wean off? Alcoholism is not simply a matter of will power. You have been drinking for so long that your body, your brain, your liver, your organs (not just your mind) crave it. Alcohol will be your medicine for so long as your body craves it, and you may need help to get past that. That is the main people relapse -- not because they are "weak-willed."
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 557
I'm not going to tell you anything that lots of others will as well. Get yourself to a group of like minded people that can help you through the tough spots. SR is great but there's no replacement for real face time with others that have gone through what you are/will
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Originally Posted by artsoul
Welcome MyTimeNow!
Excellent job of pouring that wine down the sink! Get lots of vitamins (they say the B vitamins are what most drinkers are deficient in). Eating helps with the cravings, too.
The anxiety will subside, so hang in there. I'm glad you're here - we know what it's like and you don't have to go through this alone!
Excellent job of pouring that wine down the sink! Get lots of vitamins (they say the B vitamins are what most drinkers are deficient in). Eating helps with the cravings, too.
The anxiety will subside, so hang in there. I'm glad you're here - we know what it's like and you don't have to go through this alone!
Thank you artsoul
I was sure I had some vitamin B in my cupboard... rootled through... turns out to be evening primrose oil - can't do any harm either I guess!I have to go to the supermarket today so I'll look out for a multivitamin and some extra vitamin B. I've looked at them before and thought crikey, they're expensive (because obvisouly wine and vodka are sooo cheap *sigh*)
I have some anti anxiety meds in the form of propanolol (sp?!) so will be taking those and hope it takes the edge off. Fingers crossed!
Originally Posted by LOVINGRA
Did you know there are real on-line meetings you can attend? You don't have to go in person.
I strongly recommend some sort of support group. Also if you feel your cravings returning, maybe see a doc who can help you wean off? Alcoholism is not simply a matter of will power. You have been drinking for so long that your body, your brain, your liver, your organs (not just your mind) crave it. Alcohol will be your medicine for so long as your body craves it, and you may need help to get past that. That is the main people relapse -- not because they are "weak-willed."
I strongly recommend some sort of support group. Also if you feel your cravings returning, maybe see a doc who can help you wean off? Alcoholism is not simply a matter of will power. You have been drinking for so long that your body, your brain, your liver, your organs (not just your mind) crave it. Alcohol will be your medicine for so long as your body craves it, and you may need help to get past that. That is the main people relapse -- not because they are "weak-willed."
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Join Date: Jun 2012
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Day 2
So it's day 2 for me. What would be my drinking day in the long established pattern of one on one off.
I'd always caved in on day 2 even if I knew I didn't really want to drink. However I was also choosing to drink and allowing myself to drink as I wasn't ready to admit that I wanted to quit and give up my old friend. So looking back, with perhaps a little effort, a little more forethought and some pre-planning then I could have made it through a lot more day 2's than I have done.
My plan for today is - breakfast! I rarely eat breakfast and can easily miss lunch which I know does not help my blood sugars at all and makes the cravings worse. I've been up for over 2 hours and realised I'm still to have breakfast - so that first!
Some bits in the house to do this morning and then youngest is off to nursery. Nursery days are always enforced sobriety as I would never drink knowing I had to collect her. However...as she is usually asleep by 6.30pm it was the perfect time to open the wine in peace afterwards. Looks like another early night on the cards for me to avoid all temptation! I have a new book to start to that will be me.
Whilst she is at nursery I have to do the weekly shop and I'll be making it a healthy one and bypassing that alcohol aisle! If it ever stops raining I'll try and get back out in the garden and do some chopping. It's a jungle out there!
I was thinking of going for a little walk, maybe... but... there are a total of 7 shops within 2 mins of me in whichever direction I walk that sell alcohol and I don't want to make it any harder on myself today than it has to be.
Oh and I'm going to weigh myself. I desperately want to lose weight so if I can see some benefits in that department I know that will spur me on.
Not a wholly exciting day but that's my plan to get through until bedtime. Oh dinner is included in there somewhere lol
I'm not sure whether I should be waffling away on here about my feelings or plans or starting a blog. So if you've taken the time to read this - well done and thank you!
MTN xx
I'd always caved in on day 2 even if I knew I didn't really want to drink. However I was also choosing to drink and allowing myself to drink as I wasn't ready to admit that I wanted to quit and give up my old friend. So looking back, with perhaps a little effort, a little more forethought and some pre-planning then I could have made it through a lot more day 2's than I have done.
My plan for today is - breakfast! I rarely eat breakfast and can easily miss lunch which I know does not help my blood sugars at all and makes the cravings worse. I've been up for over 2 hours and realised I'm still to have breakfast - so that first!
Some bits in the house to do this morning and then youngest is off to nursery. Nursery days are always enforced sobriety as I would never drink knowing I had to collect her. However...as she is usually asleep by 6.30pm it was the perfect time to open the wine in peace afterwards. Looks like another early night on the cards for me to avoid all temptation! I have a new book to start to that will be me.
Whilst she is at nursery I have to do the weekly shop and I'll be making it a healthy one and bypassing that alcohol aisle! If it ever stops raining I'll try and get back out in the garden and do some chopping. It's a jungle out there!
I was thinking of going for a little walk, maybe... but... there are a total of 7 shops within 2 mins of me in whichever direction I walk that sell alcohol and I don't want to make it any harder on myself today than it has to be.
Oh and I'm going to weigh myself. I desperately want to lose weight so if I can see some benefits in that department I know that will spur me on.
Not a wholly exciting day but that's my plan to get through until bedtime. Oh dinner is included in there somewhere lol
I'm not sure whether I should be waffling away on here about my feelings or plans or starting a blog. So if you've taken the time to read this - well done and thank you!
MTN xx
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Join Date: Jun 2012
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Originally Posted by ttbp
Good luck on day two :ghug3 and hello and welcome xxx
I'm actually ok at the moment, got my shopping done (note to self, check freezer before leaving - doh!) It was 3 for 2 on vitamins so I picked up a vitamin B complex, some multivitamins and.... something else... can't remember what it was called but it said for energy and wellbeing - oh yes, need some of that too!
Half way round I did think gah I really NEED a drink, but soon countered the thought with well you can't anyway as you need to pick LO up from nursery later. So that was that. I think i'm going to have some lazy book time to shut my mind down for a while...
Mxx
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Congratulations on all your hard work so far. Filling time that has previously been spent drinking is always difficult... and I hate that 'antsy' feeling you describe. It's hard to get through those hours, but once you've got through them enough times, you will very rarely have them - so remember that. You're on the right track, MyTimeNow, keep your mind focused on the positives that this change will bring, and every time your brain tells you that you NEED a drink, tell it back that you don't. Because you really, really don't. I've taken up baking since being sober, by the way. I love it! It totally takes my mind off everything because it's so accurate and you really have to concentrate. I've found that I'm pretty good at it and get lots of wonderful comments. Maybe you should give it a go? I know you mention a want for weight loss, but in those early days perhaps you shouldn't be so hard on yourself and go with what you want... the weight loss can come later, being sober is what is important for now. I ate and ate and ate the first month of recovery but in recent weeks I've been dieting and have lost all the weight I put on. Good luck for the rest of the day.
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