Sponsor?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,126
HayJack....why not ask for a temporary sponsor the next time? Many meetings have people that will gladly carry you through the first few steps.
I remember when I had been in the rooms a few weeks and shared in a meeting that I was looking for a sponsor to work the steps. Nary a soul stepped forward during or after the meeting. I seriously thought about drinking, but didn't.
I ended up at another meeting and a guy was willing to help. I eventally ended up with a second sponsor, then a third. My third sponsor is a woman with 31 years, I'm a dude, but it works out.
It works, but you have to be persistent.
I live in a culture where sponsorship is deemed a very personal thing. I think the way it should work is that you raise your hand, ask for help, and end up with a string of phone numbers from people willing to be a temporary sponsor.
I know in some of the rooms people are trolling for sponsees. I'm not sure that's healthy either, but I do know that the founders would have taken anyone with a desire to stop drinking under their wings.
Do hang in there. Do hit other meetings. Do gather the courage to say you are new, desperate for a temporary sponsor, and for God's sake, don't give up.
Sponsors are there to help you through the steps, and the steps aren't something to do alone. That said, that initial first sponsor might just be someone to talk to every day on the phone, someone to call when you are feeling like losing the fight, someone to just care.
Good luck.
I remember when I had been in the rooms a few weeks and shared in a meeting that I was looking for a sponsor to work the steps. Nary a soul stepped forward during or after the meeting. I seriously thought about drinking, but didn't.
I ended up at another meeting and a guy was willing to help. I eventally ended up with a second sponsor, then a third. My third sponsor is a woman with 31 years, I'm a dude, but it works out.
It works, but you have to be persistent.
I live in a culture where sponsorship is deemed a very personal thing. I think the way it should work is that you raise your hand, ask for help, and end up with a string of phone numbers from people willing to be a temporary sponsor.
I know in some of the rooms people are trolling for sponsees. I'm not sure that's healthy either, but I do know that the founders would have taken anyone with a desire to stop drinking under their wings.
Do hang in there. Do hit other meetings. Do gather the courage to say you are new, desperate for a temporary sponsor, and for God's sake, don't give up.
Sponsors are there to help you through the steps, and the steps aren't something to do alone. That said, that initial first sponsor might just be someone to talk to every day on the phone, someone to call when you are feeling like losing the fight, someone to just care.
Good luck.
Guest
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 3,452
Originally Posted by Hayjack 
I am seeking a sponsor. I have inquired at local AA meetings to no avail. Any advice?
In the meantime, try a new home group.
Listen for someone that you could ask after a meeting.
Lots of AA events happening in Texas this month.
Try to get involved in a service position. I am sure you will meet someone soon.
Recoveringed
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Thump
Posts: 409
yes definitely, I would google PPG AA Dallas, these are some of the most amazing alcoholics i've ever known and they are in your state, i would contact them today and ask for suggestions for groups in your area that have qualified sponsors. I would trust them with my recovery which really means i would trust them with my life. Good on you for wanting to recover, it works it really does. Good luck
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
As the others have suggested, check out some other meetings and see if at least you can get a temporary sponsor. The Primary Purpose Groups sound like a great idea too.
In addition I would suggest reading the Big Book starting with the chapter entitled "A Vision For You" Then go back and study the first 7 chapters. Buy the book Living Sober for practical day to day suggestions, and try and put them into practice. By the time you are halfway through, you will have found a good sponsor I bet.
In addition I would suggest reading the Big Book starting with the chapter entitled "A Vision For You" Then go back and study the first 7 chapters. Buy the book Living Sober for practical day to day suggestions, and try and put them into practice. By the time you are halfway through, you will have found a good sponsor I bet.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: The Sooner State
Posts: 1,725
Originally Posted by Hayjack
I am seeking a sponsor. I have inquired at local AA meetings to no avail. Any advice?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,095
Hi Haystack,
Simply put, if you are going to a meeting where there isn't active sponsorship going on, then you aren't in an AA meeting. It may say AA on the door, but it isn't practicing AA.
By active sponsorship, I mean guys coming up to you after the meeting and touching base and introducing themselves. And certainly if you've openly expressed that you're looking for a sponsor at a meeting. Look for a Big Book study meeting, a Primary Purpose meeting, or a meeting that takes its name from a phrase in the BB. The 5pm meeting named "Happy Hour" is just that, usually. Social club meetings are fine for what they are, but they usually aren't carrying the message of a spiritual awakening through taking the 12 Steps.
Simply put, if you are going to a meeting where there isn't active sponsorship going on, then you aren't in an AA meeting. It may say AA on the door, but it isn't practicing AA.
By active sponsorship, I mean guys coming up to you after the meeting and touching base and introducing themselves. And certainly if you've openly expressed that you're looking for a sponsor at a meeting. Look for a Big Book study meeting, a Primary Purpose meeting, or a meeting that takes its name from a phrase in the BB. The 5pm meeting named "Happy Hour" is just that, usually. Social club meetings are fine for what they are, but they usually aren't carrying the message of a spiritual awakening through taking the 12 Steps.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Miami, FL
Posts: 1,701
There is always a shortage of sponsors. That is just how it is. In Florida meetings they have a time when they ask anyone willing to be a temporary sponsor to raise their hands. And it is always two people who volunteer. In over seven years of going to meetings with as few as 3 people and as many as 50--whatever the meeting size, it was always 2 people.
It can be discouraging but everyone in a 12-step program has been through this. I lived in a sober house and getting sponsors was a lot of what we talked about. And then sometimes you go through an interview process and still get turned down. My first two attempts at getting a sponsor involved interviews and I got rejected. I would have given up completely if my rehab had not made getting a sponsor and a job conditions for discharge. But eventually, you can find someone.
Hang in there.
It can be discouraging but everyone in a 12-step program has been through this. I lived in a sober house and getting sponsors was a lot of what we talked about. And then sometimes you go through an interview process and still get turned down. My first two attempts at getting a sponsor involved interviews and I got rejected. I would have given up completely if my rehab had not made getting a sponsor and a job conditions for discharge. But eventually, you can find someone.
Hang in there.
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