Payton

I am lonely and I miss my mom and dad. I lived in the same place for my whole life and I was forced to leave everything when myhusband lost his job and we had to move 2000 miles away. I had such good friends and a happy life...I don't have anyone I can really rely on here. I am an introvert and having everyone you talk to be someone you don't know or barely know is so exhausting. My parents bought a house two streets from my Old house so we could all be close to each other, and then we had to leave. I feel so much grief over the loss of everything from my old life. Family, friends, neighbors, my modest, beautiful home that I never wanted to leave, the university I was enrolled in, our life savings, our retirement, it's all gone. It's hard to stay in contact as adults and I only really stay in touch with 2 or 3 people. All of my Old friends are having babies and they see each other Constantly. After all of this happened Is when i started drinking heavily. I just miss my Old life so much...and my parents so badly. My mom texted me a picture Of my dad sleeping in his recliner and I would do anything to be there. I'm not trying to be a drama queen... I just wanted to express my feelings instead of internalize them. I am trying to do this more because I have just been drinking them away recently. I am very grateful for my husband's job, this nice city, a happy and healthy child and a decent home. It just gets hard sometimes. My dad had to cancel his visit recently due to illness and it was hard being away on fathers day. He is older and I wonder ho much time we have left to spend together.

ACT10Npack

Life never stands still. You have to cope to the fact with that life/dream is over. Starting new leaf with your new life is the key. Getting back to a healthy life as in job, home and food is what's important. You can always go back to school, see your friends and family later but drinking will not help you, just make it worst. Stay sober and everything will fall in to place.

Past is the past! Focus on today and the future.

Anna

Payton, it's so good that you are posting these feelings, rather than numbing them away. I very much relate to your post and those feelings of loss after a move. I was a military wife for many years and sometimes it was terribly lonely. It forced me to become very independent and, in retrospect, I see that as a plus.

I think that holidays, like Father's Day, can add stress when you're already feeling the loss of loved ones around you.

Have you ever thought of volunteering? It's a great way to meet new people.

Payton

Action I have told myself all of those things and tried to be stoic. I don't cry, I don't talk about it because it just upsets my husband and make him feel guilty. It just feels bad to be away from my dad today. I haven't seen him or my mom since December. I am doing my best to move on - I've tried to throw myself into my new life and put on a happy face. I wish I could completely let go of it all. You are right that drinking will not help and sobriety will help. Thank you for the reassurance.

Anna, thank you. I have thought aboutvolunteering and it is something I want to do. I was thinking that maybe I could foster some animals. I'm sorry youhad to go through something similar. ((Anna))

katrinka

Keep posting and reading, Payton, it's so helpful.

Dee74

I'm sorry you feel low Payton.
I hope you get the opportunity to be closer to your folks again some day soon

D

Payton

Thank you guys! It has really been helping me to share my feelings with SR.

Anna

Fostering animals is such a great thing to do. There are never enough people to help. I hope that might work out for you.

artsoul

I can empathize....I'm feeling the distance from my family today, too. I usually see my parents twice a year. They're elderly now, and I'm so conscious of that. I was picking out a Father's Day card at WalMart and found myself wanting to sit down on the floor and just cry. (dang Prozac makes that hard, tho)! But that's OK, because I feel fortunate to have a loving relationship with both of my parents.

It does take time to get to know new people, but it will happen. :ghug3

NatalieN

I am glad you shared with us Payton. It's a good thing that you are aware of the blessings you do have. Millions are jobless and homeless these days. It's amazing what our ability to see the glass half-full will do for us.

Best wishes

Natalie

Payton

Art soul, thank you so much. I'm sorry you are away from your parents. It am be really hard. I'm glad you have a really nice relationship with them. I also feel fortunate for that.

Anna, I have two cats and have been thinking about adopting a third. I want to foster but concerned about getting attached. Have you fostered before?

DoinThis

Payton I could've written your post! I am in exactly the same boat. I feel so lonely so often as hubby works a lot too. We've been a 2 hour flight from my 'home' for 3 1/2 years now and it's also when my drinking escalated. It's sooooo hard I can totally empathize with how u feel. What helps me is to think it took my whole life to make those strong friendships at home so I can't expect it to happen here overnight. I've since had a baby so meet a lot of people through my daughter and through walking my dog. I actually know so many people here but on such a new level and it's so hard to hold back and not ring my new friends too often and scare them away with my desparate loneliness. I'm trying to be patient but it's so hard. At home friends would just pop in and out like family.

The worst part is that when I go home I don't feel 100% 'at home' there anymore either so I don't feel completely comfortable anywhere anymore. Makes drinking so much easier hey. What I have noticed tho since being sober I'm doing loads more with new friends instead of isolating myself by staying at home drinking. Know how u are feeling hon, I wish u well. Have u thought about AA? I've been thinking about it for too long but haven't been going. I think it would help my loneliness too being with people like me and finding a sponsor to off load with etc. I've been telling myself every week I need to go...this week hopefully! All the best Payton

Luling

Hey Payton, I've never been in your situation, but I can totally understand the pain this must cause you, especially on Father's Day.

My mother-in-law left England and went to South Africa many years ago. My husband said that he could always tell when she had just spoken on the phone to someone from home, because he could hear her crying from the next room. It's not because she didn't appreciate what she had, she was just working through a lot of feelings. She tells me that things improved over time, but of course she always missed home.

Sorry you're having a hard time. The advice about volunteering or going to AA is good -- anything to get you out talking to people and making friends. And I hope you get to arrange a visit with your parents soon. I bet they want to see you and your precious little girl as soon as possible.

Michael66

Payton,

I can hear the wonderful love you have for your family.

Keeping you in my prayers.

DefofLov

Just wanted to send love, light, and

Jeni26

Hi Payton.
Well done for posting. Sometimes it helps just writing your feelings down on paper...or typing them on a keyboard...whatever!
Try and tell yourself that you are in the right place for your husband and little girl. They need you and you are being a supportive wife and mum.
It's ok to miss your old life, what a wrench, but it's time to look after yourself and build a new one. Find people who you can relate to. I've found lots in AA meetings. Open yourself up to new experiences.
Keep posting here. Be proud of yourself for having the strength to face your addiction and build a better future for you and your family.
You're doing so well. Remember that xx

Sapling

Just want to say you're doing great Payton....And as long as you're not drinking things will get better! Look at the family you got here.