pixilation

I hate the position Stbxah has put me in. I hate that I always have to be the bad guy. I hate that i've had to tell my kids that they can't go visit their dad on father's day because he's having a problem law enforcement.
You know what else? I hate how everytime i discipline the kids, i hear 'i want my daddy' .

Ok, vent over.

sweetteewalls

I am having your day too...see my thread "special days are rough"...Holidays have a way of putting a magnifying glass on our As problems. My separated AH arrived here to pick up our child hungover. Makes me so angry...can't afford necessities but somehow he manages $ for alcohol. Just try to think ahead to how your kids will be grateful for you, that you were there...its a thankless job right now but I know in my heart they will tell you thank you for being there for them when their dad wasn't.

suki44883

And a worthy vent it is!

I remember when I was young, I would come back from a day at my dad's and his new girlfriends house and when my mom would have to discipline me or make me take a bath or whatever, I would say...I want to go live with my daddy! See, Daddy and Alice (his girlfriend) paid little attention to us. She had 4 kids of her own and her daughter was about a year older than me, so we got the run of the neighborhood. I remember once we walked about 2 miles on the railroad tracks that ran a block or so behind their house. We were gone for hours and when we returned, they never even knew we had been gone.

What I failed to realize is that my Mom did all the parenting and that sometimes meant that she had to make me do stuff I didn't want to do. Now that I'm grown, I realize that, while my Dad loved me, he wasn't a very good parent. My Mom was a great parent and I owe her such a debt of gratitude.

I'm sure your kids will figure all that out, but yeah, I can only imagine how much I hurt my Mom when I would say things like that.

pixilation

That's it too, he does very little actual patenting when they do go. 9yo stays up all night playing on the computer, 4yo runs outside whenever, neither gets bathed, etc. i've only let them go once in the last 3 months, and until there's a court order, they're not going back. As of right now he has two warrants out, he stopped paying his fines from his dui's, and that means that when he is brought in, his suspended sentences will get served. I didn't know about the warrants until after the last visit.

lillamy

Give. It. Time.
Mine are at the point of sighing and going "yeah, I guess we HAVE TO go see him since it's Fathers Day and all, but you know, Mom, it's really just a royal waste of time because he'll be passed out within an hour of us getting there. But hey, at least he has cable."

The kids will realize where their emotionally healthy home is. Until they do, just trust that they will.