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Join Date: Nov 2009
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Semi New Member
Hi everyone! I have been a member of sober recovery for a couple of years now. I haven't been on in while, but when I did visit I would post in the "family & friends" section of the forum.
I was in a very alcoholic abusive relationship, which I guess kept me from drinking. Now that I've gotten out of the relationship, I'm starting to drink...like wayyy too much...like every-night. I don't know what happened to me. I used to never drink and HATED it! My dad is an absent alcoholic and my ex was destroyed by it. Why can't I stop myself.
I can go most of the day without it, but at night I have to have a drink in my hand or I get irritated. I'm also smoking cigarettes way to much because I'm drinking. Another things I didn't do often until I start drinking more. On top of all of this I'm addicted to marijuana as well. It just makes life so much easier to cope with, or it's just something to do because I'm bored. My work suffers because of it..
I don't know what's wrong with me. I just don't have the motivation to do anything.
Anyway, I just thought I'd share and get some insight on what I should do? Is it a common thing for someone who was in a very abusive alcoholic relationship to start abusing as well? Just seems backwards...
I was in a very alcoholic abusive relationship, which I guess kept me from drinking. Now that I've gotten out of the relationship, I'm starting to drink...like wayyy too much...like every-night. I don't know what happened to me. I used to never drink and HATED it! My dad is an absent alcoholic and my ex was destroyed by it. Why can't I stop myself.
I can go most of the day without it, but at night I have to have a drink in my hand or I get irritated. I'm also smoking cigarettes way to much because I'm drinking. Another things I didn't do often until I start drinking more. On top of all of this I'm addicted to marijuana as well. It just makes life so much easier to cope with, or it's just something to do because I'm bored. My work suffers because of it..
I don't know what's wrong with me. I just don't have the motivation to do anything.
Anyway, I just thought I'd share and get some insight on what I should do? Is it a common thing for someone who was in a very abusive alcoholic relationship to start abusing as well? Just seems backwards...
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Up, Up and Away
Posts: 434
Originally Posted by Emeraldstorm 
Is it a common thing for someone who was in a very abusive alcoholic relationship to start abusing as well?
So please do something to quit drinking before it starts to mess up your life. Best wishes.
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Join Date: Nov 2009
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Oh yeah...just don't know the best way to approach it...AA wouldn't work for me. It's not my thing...so I'm not sure what to do. I don't have insurance so I don't know where to go for help. I mean if there is a book or something that is popular, I'm willing to give that a try?
Grateful to be free
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 3,680
Yes Emerald it is very very common for people who've been in abusive relationships and/or relationships with an addict or alcoholic to end up with a drinking problem themselves.
Codependency, which is common among those in relationships with abusers or addicts, is a sort of addiction itself, and has many of the underlying character/psychological tendencies as addiction.
Also, I think there can be a "can't beat'em? join'em" issue that goes on. It's easier to tolerate the situation when one is self medicated, it often seems less scary than walking away.
Welcome here, again.
I am sorry for the experiences you've been through, but at least you are recognizing your situation and addressing it earlier, rather than later.
Codependency, which is common among those in relationships with abusers or addicts, is a sort of addiction itself, and has many of the underlying character/psychological tendencies as addiction.
Also, I think there can be a "can't beat'em? join'em" issue that goes on. It's easier to tolerate the situation when one is self medicated, it often seems less scary than walking away.
Welcome here, again.
I am sorry for the experiences you've been through, but at least you are recognizing your situation and addressing it earlier, rather than later.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 2,707
I would recommend talking to your doctor to start. Does he know about your drinking problem?
Next: stop drinking. Just stop. Everything else will follow from there. Eat healthy, eat lots, exercise. You will be amazed how quickly things start to improve once you cut the booze out.
Posting on here is a great first step. It has gotten me through eight months. Keep sharing
Next: stop drinking. Just stop. Everything else will follow from there. Eat healthy, eat lots, exercise. You will be amazed how quickly things start to improve once you cut the booze out.
Posting on here is a great first step. It has gotten me through eight months. Keep sharing
Adventures In SpaceTime
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
Originally Posted by Threshold
Yes Emerald it is very very common for people who've been in abusive relationships and/or relationships with an addict or alcoholic to end up with a drinking problem themselves.
Codependency, which is common among those in relationships with abusers or addicts, is a sort of addiction itself, and has many of the underlying character/psychological tendencies as addiction.
Also, I think there can be a "can't beat'em? join'em" issue that goes on. It's easier to tolerate the situation when one is self medicated, it often seems less scary than walking away.
Welcome here, again.
I am sorry for the experiences you've been through, but at least you are recognizing your situation and addressing it earlier, rather than later.
Codependency, which is common among those in relationships with abusers or addicts, is a sort of addiction itself, and has many of the underlying character/psychological tendencies as addiction.
Also, I think there can be a "can't beat'em? join'em" issue that goes on. It's easier to tolerate the situation when one is self medicated, it often seems less scary than walking away.
Welcome here, again.
I am sorry for the experiences you've been through, but at least you are recognizing your situation and addressing it earlier, rather than later.
Emerald, so good to see you honestly sincerely struggling with doing what is right for you, and in your struggles you will discover your proper journey into resolving your challenges, believe it, thats how it works best.
You mentioned is there a book? Check out the AVRT discussion thread.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-4-a.html
Choosing Life
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Montana
Posts: 1,435
Nicely said, Threshold. That was definitely me. I was raised by two alcoholic parents and swore I'd never be like them. Then a few years into our marriage, my husband started drinking heavily and now he's a full blown alkie himself. I was a sporadically heavy drinker here and there, but a few years ago, I became an alcoholic too, which surprised the heck out of me. lol So yeah, I think we often drink because it makes difficult situations and people easier to tolerate.
I'm sorry you've been through what you have, but I'm glad you're here. Check out the AVRT thread that Robby posted the link to, and you could also try reading the book "Rational Recovery." Seems to work for a number of the people here, and although I do AA, I've also applied some of the RR principles to my recovery and they've been very helpful.
I'm sorry you've been through what you have, but I'm glad you're here. Check out the AVRT thread that Robby posted the link to, and you could also try reading the book "Rational Recovery." Seems to work for a number of the people here, and although I do AA, I've also applied some of the RR principles to my recovery and they've been very helpful.
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 83
Originally Posted by desertsong
So yeah, I think we often drink because it makes difficult situations and people easier to tolerate.
I guess I need to figure out better coping skills, because I do not want to lose control!
Thanks everyone for all the advice! I'm gonna start reading/researching!
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