Innerchild

Tomorrow my dad's best friends are having a father's day BBQ. So many people like family will be there but they will ALL be drinking and most will be drunk. Do I go and hope I dont have a reaction to being around a lot of alcohol or stay away. I dont want to be around alcohol but I hate not feeling included and have to stay away bc I cant drink. They all know I am in AA so no one will offer me a drink but I just dont know what to do. My sponsor and others in AA said to have an escape plan but I dont have a car and people may be too drunk to drive me home. I am so confused bc I dont want to stay home by myself either all day tom. either. Any suggestions?

Anna

That's a tough one, Innerchild.

If you feel uneasy about going and you don't have an escape plan, then maybe you might want to rethink it. Is there any way that you could spend part of the day with your Dad?

Sapling

Maybe you can take an AA friend with you...That doesn't have anywhere to go for Father's Day?...And has a car?

Innerchild

My dad is playing golf all day with his buddies then meeting for the BBQ he will be toasted already on that course..I wish I knew someone well enough in AA to come.

OklaBH

ya know..it's Fathers Day. See your Dad. Im going to see mine and my family (who drinks) cant stand the sight of me (rightfully so) Just be in the moment (without alcohol) you will never get the time back you avoided with your dad.

Sapling

Got any phone numbers?...Maybe your sponsor knows someone.

Innerchild

Ahhh, tough decision but I do have phone numbers and my sponsors number.

Sapling

It's worth a try...If I was going to what sounds like a drunk fest and I had no way out...Sorry dad...Another day.

Threshold

Tricky IC, is there any way you could schedule to have breakfast with Dad before he hits the golf course? Or schedule a dinner with him later this week, just you two?

Innerchild

They really make awesome food there too lol. I still have time to pray tonight and God will tell me

Innerchild

I can have fun watching people get drunk and tell myself I am grateful I wont have a hangover in the morning

Sapling

How long have you been sober IC?

Innerchild

Relapsed and bk almost three weeks but I am more ddicated and serious

ACT10Npack

I truly don't know how you would react around people who are drinking or better yet getting drunk. If you know you can go to it and not drink then do it if not then don't go. Just remember it's only a few hour event and in time you will have to learn to be around people who will drink. Alcohol is not like cocaine that it's a social thing. Not saying to go to a bar or anything but remember alcohol is everywhere.

Innerchild

Good point Actionpk

sugarbear1

We have to put in the footwork. Call your sponsor and let them know what is happening (remind them), then ask if there is someone they know who may not be busy tomorrow. One way to get to know someone in AA is to reach out, get the ride and hang out together.

Breakfast sounds like a grand idea, too!

Or just call and talk with dad for a while, let him know it's too early for you to be around alcohol in any form and that you are upset but you can't make it.

Big hugs to you,

Sapling

Your call...If you think you can handle that...Go for it...I know I was hanging onto my three weeks with my life...This wouldn't even be a consideration for me. If I had a way out maybe...But if I knew my dad was going to be drunk when he got there...I'd pass.

Innerchild

Ill pray maybe if I go I bring my BB and secretly read it but I have a few hours to decide maybe I can get a ride home after I eat and then I dont have to stay late when the Manhattans come out and everyone is toasted not that I am into Manhattans anyway.

Innerchild

My dad understands either way 90% of me tells me I am not ready bc I am too focused on my sobriety

sugarbear1

well, bring your phone list with you! call people! or call the WAIA hotline 202-966-9115 someone is scheduled all day long there!