Anna

I am so disappointed in the Newcomers Forum in the past couple of weeks. Things have deteriorated to members pushing their program and other members pushing back. It's such a shame to do this to newcomers who are joining us on a daily basis.

Last evening, another in a rash of program bashing threads was posted. I jumped in immediately with a warning and some members wondered why I would do that. Well, let's see. I've been around here for almost 10 years and I have seen the same old thing time and time again. I had to be out today and when I arrived back what do I find. Surprise, surprise.

This is the Newcomers Forum. Please post ONLY your own experience. Please do not post threads promoting one program as it only causes others to jump in justifying their own program.

RobbyRobot

Awesome.

hypochondriac

When I first got here I found the 'program bashing' really disheartening. It doesn't exactly promote a feeing of togetherness and can be a bit confusing for those of us who don't know which way to turn. It's not nice to feel like you need to 'pick a side' before you've even started.

Thanks for the reminder Anna x

Anna

Thank you for understanding.

Honestly, it makes me want to cry today. I am just so tired of all the in-fighting going on here.

Our members often care more about promoting their own program, than about the wonderful individuals who are arriving here today.

Itchy

Anna,
I agree. We are here to support each other against alcohol, not against each other's program of recovery. I have reacted a couple of times when one group made fun of the the other but I really don't have a dog in either fight anymore.

I try to live by this old quote attributed to Confucius, I sometimes stray, but not far, and not long:

"When you see a worthy person, endeavor to emulate him. When you see an unworthy person, then examine your inner self."

I emulated every worthy person I saw here and in my recovery locations.

It worked.

LoftyIdeals

Thank you, Anna. I have also been wary of this on newcomers, and it does seem to be a different place as of late. I was just today questioning whether I was ready to move on from my daily SR visits to Newcomers. But, I do gain quite a bit from the Newcomer's story, and remembering what it was like for me. And, at 10 months, I am a mere infant in this journey (as I was reminded in a conversation last week).

Sobriety is the means to a wonderful life. It matters not how it comes; just that it come. It doesn't solve everything, but, in my experience, nothing else good comes without it.

Thanks to SR for the immeasurable resource for support that it is, and has been for me over the last year+. Thanks to you, Anna.

Soberween

I didn't think it got that ugly on that thread. Somewhat divisive, but not a total disappointment. It doesn't really effect my recovery. I usually find another thread that suits me better.

Sapling

Sorry you feel that was a program bashing thread Anna.....But I don't feel it was. I just read it again...And I still see no bashing in that thread. I see one member here trying to turn it into one...I don't think he even succeeded at that. I don't think that thread is any different than a thread about how someone deals with their AV....I don't have an AV....I don't let that bother me though. I'm kind of disappointed myself.

OklaBH

Anna~ I agree. I do attend AA meetings. That being said I am getting so irritated with these threads. If I had saw all this when I started recovery last year I wouldve been instantly turned off. Im watching a show about alcoholism/addiction right now. They just said that 3 out of 10 in recovery WILL ACTUALLY MAKE IT. Lets focus on bettering those numbers.

Casmasta

... Just a question.. Where do you go when you're not a newcomer anymore? The alcoholic thread? I don't really see any new posts anywhere else..?
And when are you considered not a newcomer?

Also.. I'm new to these threads in the last week or so.. I have seen all of these program debates. I, for one, didn't know that there was more than one program like AA.. So it's been interesting to discover others.. I wouldn't have known about them if it weren't for the debates..
Though I understand that they get heated, and have to be shut down.
Ehh. I don't know. Just sayin'.

Opivotal

((Anna)) Thank you so very much for all you do here to keep peace. It's a challenging task at times. I truly hope everyone remembers your post and adheres to it accordingly.

This is one of the most supportive sites anywhere...Thanks again for trying to keep it that way.
:ghug3



My Best Wishes To You!

MycoolFitz

Thanks, I believe in recovery and that's a tough enough row for me to plow. Mule or tractor or anthing in between, if it helps me turn the soil I'm a happy farmer. All I know is that I can't do the chores alone. My best to all. Kansas roots must be coming out. I hope I am a part of the solution, not part of the problem. This is what I strive for. As always, peace and love.

OklaBH

I post on the alcoholics section....because I am a text book alkie. I dont pay attention to what forum Im readding (which has gotten me into trouble a couple times) I look under "new posts" about 500 times a day!

WritingFromLife

I think I will start all my posts with "this has been my experience...." and stick to that as best as I can! It can be easy to get off track, that's for sure..and end with Just My Opinion. Sounds like that's what SR is for? I think maybe that's where things get thrown off--regardless of what we think is a worthy subject or even a worthy debate, it is not the purpose of Sober Recovery. I forget this often.

WritingFromLife

And I might add no bashing of any kind! I guess that's obvious ;-)

OklaBH

Constructive caring critisizm is welcome though I have gotten alot of crap at AA for reguarly going to the Dr for my alcoholism. Waste of money, waste of time, just work the steps etc...

One day I said "some of you went to freaking jail ...is that better than the Dr" Not one of my finer moments.

RobbyRobot

Sure.

Most of my posts don't mention how exactly what methods i used, or am using, or no longer use, because all those choices are really only my business. My experiences with being past drunk, and my experiences with being now sober, are much more valuable than exactly what method I may or may not use.

At the end of the day, who cares? What ever works, you know...

Persons who are free and sober helping those who are wanting to be free and sober is where the real deal is.... no need to promote whatever ahead of what ever.

recoverywfaith

Anna,

Thank you...Matter fact thank you SR....you have helped this alkie to learn many things in living a better life. I am forever grateful.

kiki5711

I do the same thing. I just click on new posts and see which ones interest me, the rest I skip.

kiki5711

As a matter of fact, when I first joined it was before I went to rehab and every other post ticked me off for some reason or another. I was so out of it at that time, that I couldn't even find my way around the forum. I kept loosing places I posted, in fact I couldn't figure out what those "thanks" buttons were for, I kept thinking I had to respond to them. I was really wasted.

So, there it is. Everyone starts here at different level.