goat79

whassup

I was updating my day 1 thread for 9 days now,

but thought I need a new title, so will update my journey here.

so I am on my 9th day of soberity, and I went to 8 meetings I went to 9 but 1 was cancel, (but I went...but I wont count it.)

So I know its soppose to be 90 days 90 meetings. But I know myself and know that is unrealistic for me right now. I chose 30 days, I really want to know if my mind is strong enough to quit. (a little about me I am an addict and a alcoholic, used daily since I was 15 yrs old. 13/14 yrs old was experimenting during weekend/every other day (you know young kid shi et). then 15/16 got kicked out of school, became a ****** loser start abusing myself with poison for 17 yrs. I am now 32, and this is 1st time really putting effort to it. I have tried a lot of times to quit, but I guess I didnt really want to quit at those time and became a chronic relapser.)

gonna take it day by day, after 30 meetings I will decide if I am goin to continue the meetings or cut back or choose the ones I like. I dunno. I just have to do 30 days to give my mind and body a rest from all this toxic poison. Also want to know if I can do it. If I cant do 30 days then I have a real ****** problem.

I feel like **** everyday since I started this, but I have to be positive and confident and keep myself busy and not obsess about gettin loaded. I have to go to a meeting everyday so I can learn from others and listen to others that have recovered, so that it will give me hope and strength to continue.

so its my 9th day, been drinkin a lots of water pissin every hour, goin to the gym to get strength and motivation, goin to meetings to learn and listen, kickin with my dogs nonstop instead of goin out/gettin wasted. Everythin is changin, I really need to build my confidence back so I can go out and be confident not to drink or do drugs. (<<< I know this will take a long time for I have tried a few times)

So I know a lot of you know what I am sayin since you all been there. I am really begginning to recover. Am a true noob to all this. And I know I have to be strong and beat this ****.

Thanks for your support guys even tho your not there in person, it means a lot to me that you guys are cheerin me on.

have a good night eerbody........

peace

CaiHong

Hi and welcome Goat,
Good for you for the 9 days. you are still you g and can turn things around in your life, things never get better if you drink or use, we all know that for a fact.

How to stay sober and motivated, I think you are doing positive things and if you keep going as you are doing, it will get easier I promise.

This is the most important thing you are doing in your life, keep remembering that.
I wish you the very best

Love
CaiHong

Michael66

Hey Goat

I felt rubbish for the first 2-3 weeks. Doesn't seem fair does it?

Anyway, sounds a good 30 day plan to me, and sound like you you're getting some good momentum going.

Stick with it buddy.

CarolD

The idea of 90 meetings in 90 days is not from AA or NA.
The idea came from treatment centers who said bad habits take
about 3 months to get turned around into better ones..

Yes...AA and NA have urged members to do the 90&90 and it works
for many people...provides them a base
And you are correct....it's a good way to listen and learn about recovery.

Kinda like classrooms for clean and sober living...the more often you go..
the quicker you can learn...

Well done on your fresh start...

Sapling

Actually Carol...I've heard it takes 60 days of doing something to develop it into a habit...Since we are alcoholics...They recommend 90. You're doing great goat....Congrats on 9 days!...There are two words I don't see in your post...Sponsor and steps. You can go to 5000 meetings in 5000 days and that's still not the suggested program of recovery...The 12 steps are. Read the book...Understand it...Find someone with some years sober that has what you want..Knowledge of what he's talking about...The book and the steps...And looks happy and at peace....And ask him to take you through the steps. That's how it works. That's what the book suggests....It's also the only suggestion it has......Follow the path....Follow suggestions...And change your life...It's all about change.

IndaMiricale

I am not one to bitch but all I do know is being a Alkie takes a hell of lot longer to be free than 30,40,60 days . It is a way a of life.

tomsteve

glad to see ya going to meetings,but going to meetings and not drinking doesnt treat alcoholism.we are blessed to have em, but there is footwork. please get the big book, phone numbers, and a sponsor.
prayers yer way for another 24hrs.

goat79

thanks guys for the support and advices.

yes I have been reading the na book and big book. I had a sponser before earlier this year but it wasnt for me (but I will look into findin one soon, it takes me while to get to know peeps). and yes I am reading the 12 steps and goin over it. I know I am step 1 I admit I am powerless and I want to change this way of living while I am still kinda young.(I am goin to step study and big book studies too) I am doin it my way the way I see I can do, for I have tried different ways to quit. This plan is for me to make a commitment to myself to give myself a break and to see where my mental strentgh is at. Everybody is different and everyone can change if they want it 100%. I know I am stubborn and want to do things my way, but thats how I am, thats the way I really learn and sometimes it fails and sometimes it works.

but anyways I am listening to any advice and all your comments mean a lot to me so thank you.

ALSO I HAVE DOUBLE DIGITS TODAY HOLLA!

10 EFFIN DAY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HAVE A GOOD ONE SR!!!

PEACE

Sapling

I think the only reason it worked for me this time....Is I admitted to myself that my way didn't work....I hope you get to the time where your way works soon.