A question about stopping drinking
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Northern Ireland
Posts: 129
A question about stopping drinking
Hello everyone,
I've been lurking here reading for a while but am finally realising that I need to start posting again, I need help. I've been trying to stop drinking but nothing is working - my drinking is escalating and I'm just so fed up and exhausted about it, but can't seem to stop. For example, this morning I woke up, hungover and groggy, after drinking 2 bottles of wine and 2 beers last night. I felt disgusted with myself and hopeless about ever being able to stop. And I said, as I do almost every morning, 'That's it, I'm not drinking again'.
A few hours later and I'm fighting the urge to go and get some more wine and drink this evening. I just don't seem to be able to stay wanting to stop after the hangover eases off. It's crazy because I've started really hurting myself when I drink - falling, being sick, having blackouts - people are starting to suspect, I know it. There've been a few pointed comments! But still, even though I know rationally that drinking is costing me my health, my relationships, my happiness and my self-esteem, I can't seem to want to stop and stay stopped.
I suppose I'm asking for help and asking what worked for all of my fellow SR people who've managed to kick this. I realise now that I can't do this on my own. If I could I'd have done it by now. I did attempt to go to an AA meeting but as I was lurking about outside the hall trying to work up the courage to go in, my friend and her boyfriend walked past and saw me. I can't go back to that one as I'm afraid they'll see me. And there aren't any other ones nearby. Would it work to read the Big Book online and try to do it myself? Or if I'm doing this by myself, would I be better to try AVRT or something like that?
Apologies for the long post. I'm so consumed with the internal argument about whether to go get drink or not, it helps to keep writing! Thanks in advance for your help!
I've been lurking here reading for a while but am finally realising that I need to start posting again, I need help. I've been trying to stop drinking but nothing is working - my drinking is escalating and I'm just so fed up and exhausted about it, but can't seem to stop. For example, this morning I woke up, hungover and groggy, after drinking 2 bottles of wine and 2 beers last night. I felt disgusted with myself and hopeless about ever being able to stop. And I said, as I do almost every morning, 'That's it, I'm not drinking again'.
A few hours later and I'm fighting the urge to go and get some more wine and drink this evening. I just don't seem to be able to stay wanting to stop after the hangover eases off. It's crazy because I've started really hurting myself when I drink - falling, being sick, having blackouts - people are starting to suspect, I know it. There've been a few pointed comments! But still, even though I know rationally that drinking is costing me my health, my relationships, my happiness and my self-esteem, I can't seem to want to stop and stay stopped.
I suppose I'm asking for help and asking what worked for all of my fellow SR people who've managed to kick this. I realise now that I can't do this on my own. If I could I'd have done it by now. I did attempt to go to an AA meeting but as I was lurking about outside the hall trying to work up the courage to go in, my friend and her boyfriend walked past and saw me. I can't go back to that one as I'm afraid they'll see me. And there aren't any other ones nearby. Would it work to read the Big Book online and try to do it myself? Or if I'm doing this by myself, would I be better to try AVRT or something like that?
Apologies for the long post. I'm so consumed with the internal argument about whether to go get drink or not, it helps to keep writing! Thanks in advance for your help!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Originally Posted by Bombshell 
I did attempt to go to an AA meeting but as I was lurking about outside the hall trying to work up the courage to go in, my friend and her boyfriend walked past and saw me. I can't go back to that one as I'm afraid they'll see me.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: CA.....Hometown : Sioux Falls
Posts: 2,624
AVRT has worked for me ...2 months without alcohol on the 21st. I used the Rational Recovery site "crash course". It's free and focuses on the addictive voice. This is also working for my overeating and other undesireable habits. Best of luck to you 
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
Hi and Welcome,
There is lots of support here, and there are many ways to recover from alcoholism.
Take a look around and you will find lots of information and ideas from people who are working on recovery. I used books which I found to be invaluable for my journey and I've been here at SR for many years.
You can do this!
There is lots of support here, and there are many ways to recover from alcoholism.
Take a look around and you will find lots of information and ideas from people who are working on recovery. I used books which I found to be invaluable for my journey and I've been here at SR for many years.
You can do this!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Fort Wayne, IN
Posts: 3
I went into a formal month long detox program. The first 2 weeks were good as I was in a semi-controlled environment. The next 2 weeks were so much better because i got the needed rest I so needed. I had just about worked and drank myself to death.
I talked to some really nest people at a AAAA meeting. They were so nice. They told me to get plenty of rest and eat good food.
I will admit the first 3 months were the toughest.
The second 3 months were easier.
After a year, It's so much easier because people accept the fact that you choose not to drink and don't hassel you. Actually, I have found that most of my friends are really proud of me.
I talked to some really nest people at a AAAA meeting. They were so nice. They told me to get plenty of rest and eat good food.
I will admit the first 3 months were the toughest.
The second 3 months were easier.
After a year, It's so much easier because people accept the fact that you choose not to drink and don't hassel you. Actually, I have found that most of my friends are really proud of me.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome back, Bombshell!
I "knew" better, too. I'd been to treatment twice and spent years in AA. It's not like I didn't have the knowledge or tools to get sober again. I was just terrified to face life without drinking because I figured my depression and anxiety was so bad I had to have something to help me cope. Of course, alcohol was the cause of the anxiety and depression I was feeling - it started getting better within a week of getting sober.
The first days I stuck to this place like glue, staying sober one minute at a time. Do your best to stay in the moment...... the minute you start obsessing about the future or past you'll get overwhelmed. Give yourself lots of TLC and know that things will get better, even if you don't believe it now. Get all the support you can. See a doctor for help with withdrawals. I think that's enough for now!:ghug3
I "knew" better, too. I'd been to treatment twice and spent years in AA. It's not like I didn't have the knowledge or tools to get sober again. I was just terrified to face life without drinking because I figured my depression and anxiety was so bad I had to have something to help me cope. Of course, alcohol was the cause of the anxiety and depression I was feeling - it started getting better within a week of getting sober.
The first days I stuck to this place like glue, staying sober one minute at a time. Do your best to stay in the moment...... the minute you start obsessing about the future or past you'll get overwhelmed. Give yourself lots of TLC and know that things will get better, even if you don't believe it now. Get all the support you can. See a doctor for help with withdrawals. I think that's enough for now!:ghug3
non-drinker
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 13,841
If you really want to stop and stay stopped, there's lots of wonderful programs out there. Lots of great support/advice here, too. I know in my case, no matter how many people gave me advice, begged me to quit, I couldn't (or wouldn't) do it until I was ready. Don't give up on yourself. You can do this! The benefits of living sober are waiting for you.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Welcome back Bombshell.
I know I would never been able to stop without the support on this site. AVRT really helped me take that leap into sobriety too. Google the crash course. Don't rule out AA either though. Do online meetings. Just keep working through the list of options. Get all the help you can, join the class of June, post here often, but above all put down the drink. I know how hard it is to just stop but no one can do that bit for you.
Glad you're reaching out x
I know I would never been able to stop without the support on this site. AVRT really helped me take that leap into sobriety too. Google the crash course. Don't rule out AA either though. Do online meetings. Just keep working through the list of options. Get all the help you can, join the class of June, post here often, but above all put down the drink. I know how hard it is to just stop but no one can do that bit for you.
Glad you're reaching out x
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Northern Ireland
Posts: 129
Thanks so much for all your responses and support It feels good to be reaching out and trying to do something about this. Posting here tonight gave me a the feeling that I'm not alone and meant that I didn't drink tonight and I'm SO GLAD I didn't!
I'm going to google the AVRT crash course now as suggested and also read the AA big book online too. I haven't ruled out meetings, I just won't go back to that one that my friend and her boyfriend live near. There will be other ones. Basically I'm going to try everything I can that helps, try to keep in the moment and not worry about the future, and keep on reading and posting here.
I feel more hopeful and positive than I have for ages. Thank you all 
It feels good to be reaching out and trying to do something about this. Posting here tonight gave me a the feeling that I'm not alone and meant that I didn't drink tonight and I'm SO GLAD I didn't!I'm going to google the AVRT crash course now as suggested and also read the AA big book online too. I haven't ruled out meetings, I just won't go back to that one that my friend and her boyfriend live near. There will be other ones. Basically I'm going to try everything I can that helps, try to keep in the moment and not worry about the future, and keep on reading and posting here.
I feel more hopeful and positive than I have for ages. Thank you all
The Little Alcoholic Monstress That Could
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Northern California
Posts: 1,159
Not to cross talk but thank you Nacho I needed to hear this: "After a year, It's so much easier because people accept the fact that you choose not to drink and don't hassel you. Actually, I have found that most of my friends are really proud of me."
Bombshell, I do AA. I think there is a secular program called women in recovery. This is all I know, best of luck!
Bombshell, I do AA. I think there is a secular program called women in recovery. This is all I know, best of luck!
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,954
Here's a bunch of links to secular recovery programs.
Women for Sobriety, Inc.
SOS Recovery and LifeRing Recovery
SMART Tools and SMART Articles
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Addiction Recovery Tools
DBT Life Skills For Emotional Health Great tools for maintaining sobriety as well.
Free Google book preview The New Cure for Substance Addiction. By Jack Trimpey. (The Advanced Addiction Voice Recognition Technique or the AVRT)
SOS Recovery and LifeRing Recovery
SMART Tools and SMART Articles
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Addiction Recovery Tools
DBT Life Skills For Emotional Health Great tools for maintaining sobriety as well.
Free Google book preview The New Cure for Substance Addiction. By Jack Trimpey. (The Advanced Addiction Voice Recognition Technique or the AVRT)
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,954
Originally Posted by sharp75
whats avrt?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
in the early days of AA, after the big book was published, there were poeple that got sober by doing what the big book said and no meetings.HOWEVER that was because they didnt have the luxury we have of meetings everywhere. that is how meetings sprung up all over the world.
if ya broke yer leg and needed it fixed, would you avoid the hospital where there are people experienced at fixing a broken leg or would ya go online and go the DIY way?
AA has worked for me for a few 24 hrs. it has been a blessing to have the people at meetings that have worked the program to teach me. all it took was some courage to walk into that 1st meeting.
if ya broke yer leg and needed it fixed, would you avoid the hospital where there are people experienced at fixing a broken leg or would ya go online and go the DIY way?
AA has worked for me for a few 24 hrs. it has been a blessing to have the people at meetings that have worked the program to teach me. all it took was some courage to walk into that 1st meeting.
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