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It seems so simple

Old 06-15-2012, 08:55 AM
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It seems so simple

As I slowly begin to clear out of the fog of alcohol, I can almost feel my mind and my thoughts lift ..things become more clear, I begin to think a little more positively, things seem more manageable. It's so blatantly obvious the damage alcohol does to my mind, body, and soul- and rather quickly. It robs me of self-confidence,clarity,optimism, and motivation. My whole outlook on life changes when alcohol is in the picture: I begin to obsess over the past, over people, over things I have no control over. I desparately want my ex in my life, and can't imagine ever meeting someone I will love again, and then worry about being alone forever. Yet once alcohol is out of the picture, things become manageable again, I feel happy about my life the way it is, and looking forward to my journey ahead, whatever it brings. It doesn't happen right away, but each day gets better and better.

So back to my original point...it just seems so simple: why drink when all it does is create negativity and pain in my life. It's like a simple math equation: Drinking = pain/Sobriety=peace of mind. Why would one choose the former? Why have I for so long? And since it's so obvious to me now, why should it even be a struggle?

I consider myself a smart woman and I have a good head on my shoulders. I've been through a lot in my life, but I've stayed strong and managed to create a wonderful life for myself and my children through it all. Clearly, somewhere along the line I let alcohol get the better of me.

I know the answer must be that this is the power of addiction. And if that is the case, then it truly is utterly baffling and controlling. I'm at the point where I dont' think I benefit from drinking or get any pleasure out of it anymore. Bottom line, I am way happier without it.

It should be so simple.
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Old 06-15-2012, 08:58 AM
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Originally Posted by forabetterlife View Post
It should be so simple.
It is....But not easy.
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Old 06-15-2012, 09:08 AM
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It is simple...and as was mentioned it is not easy...We are fear based and we are trained to go with the flow rather than to listen to our hearts..

On this journey of recovery the most important lesson I have learned is to listen to my heart.. "To thine own self be true"
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Old 06-15-2012, 09:25 AM
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Let me ask you forabetterlife...If I told you....That if you do these 12 things...With an open mind...And as honestly as you are capable of being...That you could live a life you would never have dreamed possible....And you would never drink again......Would you do it?....And here is the kicker...Somebody that has already done it...Will show you how...For nothing. Yes or no?
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Old 06-15-2012, 09:25 AM
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For me sobriety = serenity and peace of mind
While drug and alcohol use = excitement followed by hangovers, risk of being arrested (for drug use/purchase or DUI), strained relationships with family friends and loved ones, and eventually health problems.
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Old 06-15-2012, 09:29 AM
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Originally Posted by DAB View Post
While drug and alcohol use = excitement followed by hangovers, risk of being arrested (for drug use/purchase or DUI), strained relationships with family friends and loved ones, and eventually health problems.
Don't forget death.
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Old 06-15-2012, 09:36 AM
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It IS simple - but NOT easy
It's my understanding, that for alcoholics, to be drunk is a natural state of being. To be sober is not.

When I decided to get sober I had to change habits. Putting on a coat is easy, but if you have been putting it on all your life by putting your right arm in first, try, for one week to put your coat on, left arm first. After you untangle yourself you'll see what I mean. Now for the next week, again left arm first, but ask someone to help you get it on.
....ahhhhh much easier
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Old 06-15-2012, 09:46 AM
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Sapling/Fred: As one who often misses the distinction between "simple" and "easy" - thank you for the reminder that it's ok for this to be hard; we don't have to beat ourselves up when we struggle with a "simple" task. It's NOT easy.

Forabetterlife, a recovered alcoholic told me recently not to trouble myself with the why's and the should's - it's a dead end. We drink because we have an obsession with alcohol. That's it. Simple and hard!
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Old 06-15-2012, 09:47 AM
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I agree with you completely! Honestly, once I came to the conclusion that I had no interest in drinking and that it was only my addiction that wanted to, I was able to compartmentalize and be done with it. Drinking is not what I want and my addiction can kick and scream all it wants. Now I'm punishing it like it used to punish me. You go girl! You can do this!
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Old 06-15-2012, 09:52 AM
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Originally Posted by WineOhNo View Post
I agree with you completely! Honestly, once I came to the conclusion that I had no interest in drinking and that it was only my addiction that wanted to, I was able to compartmentalize and be done with it. Drinking is not what I want and my addiction can kick and scream all it wants. Now I'm punishing it like it used to punish me. You go girl! You can do this!
You mind if I ask..How long that's worked for you? How long have you been sober?
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Old 06-15-2012, 10:05 AM
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The beginning of April. It was so hard in the beginning, but I learned a lot this month (I haven't stopped reading since I stopped drinking) and then,early this month, it all started to make sense.

I drank daily for 15 years and this is the only time I ever tried to quit. I other than during pregnancies, which was always easy. I am very lucky. Now, I'll never go back. I'm certain of that. My children deserve to be raised by their mother, not her addiction. I'd bet my life on those words. I love them more than drinking. My addiction does not run the show anymore. Things can only get better!
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Old 06-15-2012, 10:13 AM
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Originally Posted by WineOhNo View Post
The beginning of April. It was so hard in the beginning, but I learned a lot this month (I haven't stopped reading since I stopped drinking) and then,early this month, it all started to make sense.

I drank daily for 15 years and this is the only time I ever tried to quit. I other than during pregnancies, which was always easy. I am very lucky. Now, I'll never go back. I'm certain of that. My children deserve to be raised by their mother, not her addiction. I'd bet my life on those words. I love them more than drinking. My addiction does not run the show anymore. Things can only get better!
That's good...You have over a couple months..I'm one of those alcoholics that couldn't do it on my own...I could a get some months together and always end up back where I left off...Or worse. Left to my own devices...I'm in trouble. Be vigilant with what you are doing....I never knew what cunnimg baffling and powerful meant till I got into AA...Then I understood why I had so many problems quitting on my own. If it's working for you...That's great...Not for me...And judging by the amount of people I see in the rooms of AA... I know I'm not alone. Best of luck to you....Like I said....Remain vigilant.
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Old 06-15-2012, 10:25 AM
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Originally Posted by Sapling View Post
That's good...You have over a couple months..I'm one of those alcoholics that couldn't do it on my own...I could a get some months together and always end up back where I left off...Or worse. Left to my own devices...I'm in trouble. Be vigilant with what you are doing....I never knew what cunnimg baffling and powerful meant till I got into AA...Then I understood why I had so many problems quitting on my own. If it's working for you...That's great...Not for me...And judging by the amount of people I see in the rooms of AA... I know I'm not alone. Best of luck to you....Like I said....Remain vigilant.

Thank you. I have always been very strong willed, I just thought that my addiction WAS my will. Now that I know that it's not, when it starts acting up i just roll my eyes at it. LOL. I torture it! I keep two bottles of my favorite wine in the rack and whenever my addiction considers tempting me to open them, I ask myself if that's what I really want. The answer is always Yes - My addiction wants this / but i do NOT!

I know it's a strange way to go about things, but it works for me. I'm done with drinking and my addiction can kiss my tush! Horray!
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Old 06-15-2012, 10:30 AM
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I like to think of it in terms of time frame. The lure of a drink is in the short term time frame. The short term might be only for several minutes, when my thinking can tell me that alcohol may make me “feel” “better”. Perhaps this is only to relieve withdrawal symptoms, but let’s be honest, most of us drank because of alcohols effect.

The problems, from that drink, come in the long(er) term time frame. So the battle becomes one between the time frames. Generally, (with the exception of detoxing) the farther from the last drink that you get, the easier it is to make the better choice. A “program” like AA helps me cope with “life”, and has made this day to day, (sometimes moment to moment) choice not to drink, just that much easier.
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Old 06-15-2012, 10:37 AM
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Originally Posted by awuh1 View Post
I like to think of it in terms of time frame. The lure of a drink is in the short term time frame. The short term might be only for several minutes, when my thinking can tell me that alcohol may make me “feel” “better”. Perhaps this is only to relieve withdrawal symptoms, but let’s be honest, most of us drank because of alcohols effect.

The problems, from that drink, come in the long(er) term time frame. So the battle becomes one between the time frames. Generally, (with the exception of detoxing) the farther from the last drink that you get, the easier it is to make the better choice. A “program” like AA helps me cope with “life”, and has made this day to day, (sometimes moment to moment) choice not to drink, just that much easier.
As long as we stop drinking, the how isn't important. Whatever works!
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Old 06-15-2012, 11:48 AM
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I was a weekly binge drinker for 20 years and a daily drunk for the 10 years after that. It finally got to the point where it was adversely effecting my mental and physical well-being. So I quit and I've never regretted that decision. I'm now nearly 3 years sober and I've never been more happy and content in my adult life
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Old 06-15-2012, 11:53 AM
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Originally Posted by FormerBeerLover View Post
I was a weekly binge drinker for 20 years and a daily drunk for the 10 years after that. It finally got to the point where it was adversely effecting my mental and physical well-being. So I quit and I've never regretted that decision. I'm now nearly 3 years sober and I've never been more happy and content in my adult life
That's good...Some people can do that...Some people can't...I would imagine that if everyone could just say I quit...And that's it....This site wouldn't be here. More power to you!
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Old 06-15-2012, 12:04 PM
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I think it is simple and easy today because
I've been living a recovery life for 21 yrs.
now with tools and knowledge of a recovery
program to help me. As long as I don't take
that first drink today and don't fix what aint
broken, then im in good shape to continue
living a happy, grateful and blessed life.

It can be for you too. : )
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Old 06-15-2012, 12:16 PM
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True...simple is not always easy. I guess I was adding to my list of things to beat myself up about by wondering why something so "simple" is so "hard". It seemingly defies logic.

Today..I'm trying to be aware of what feelings lead to a possible trigger or craving (or, worst of all relapse). Usually, I'm noticing it's some feeling of either emptiness (within myself/my life) or frustration (with someone or something). Automatically, I think alcohol will fill the emptiness or cease the frustration. But if it does, it is SO short term (like an hour!) and then I have to deal with about 48 hours of considerably more emptiness and frustration than I started out with- that is providing I don't continue to drink, which of course would probably not be the case.

So, while I don't want to invest too much time in the "whys" and "hows", I do want to understand myself and how it got to this point, so that I can be prepared and ready to fight the battle when I need to.

Today, there is no fighting. Today I hate alcohol and all it does to me and others. And I mean I HATE it.
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Old 06-15-2012, 12:26 PM
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Originally Posted by forabetterlife View Post
So, while I don't want to invest too much time in the "whys" and "hows", I do want to understand myself and how it got to this point, so that I can be prepared and ready to fight the battle when I need to.
Take a few minutes and read this...See if it makes sense.

The Doctor's Opinion
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