Well...
Well...
My name's Chris. And I'm an alcoholic.
I don't want to get too far into the details of my life right now (I feel that, providing I'm accepted by the community, it's something I can gradually release). But things have slowly been going wrong for years, up until March. After that, things got significantly worse.
I've been drinking tonight. I've had little money left for months, but that doesn't concern me. I've not got any children (thankfully, since I've grown up around this), but a now-ex girlfriend who I don't want back.
This post is somewhat jumbled. It's probably the worst introductory post I've ever made.
I'm going to go bum a cigarette now. I'll be back momentarily.
I don't want to get too far into the details of my life right now (I feel that, providing I'm accepted by the community, it's something I can gradually release). But things have slowly been going wrong for years, up until March. After that, things got significantly worse.
I've been drinking tonight. I've had little money left for months, but that doesn't concern me. I've not got any children (thankfully, since I've grown up around this), but a now-ex girlfriend who I don't want back.
This post is somewhat jumbled. It's probably the worst introductory post I've ever made.
I'm going to go bum a cigarette now. I'll be back momentarily.
My story's somewhat complicated, but to have this many people reply to an introductory post in the several moments I've been away from the computer before leaving the house... this definitely does seem like a good place.
I'd say my drinking has played a major factor in my downward spiral. Though I've been unhappy with things for years. And once I get the change to deal with one issue, another significantly worse one pops up. And it's been this way for years.
I'll be honest, if wasn't almost completely broke and scared, I wouldn't have done this. I tried AA once, and was committed with it. Until I saw my partner out around two weeks later hitting on me without recognising who I was. (honestly, I'm not kidding).
I'd say my drinking has played a major factor in my downward spiral. Though I've been unhappy with things for years. And once I get the change to deal with one issue, another significantly worse one pops up. And it's been this way for years.
I'll be honest, if wasn't almost completely broke and scared, I wouldn't have done this. I tried AA once, and was committed with it. Until I saw my partner out around two weeks later hitting on me without recognising who I was. (honestly, I'm not kidding).
I did write a long post thanking everybody for replying so quickly, but it vanished due to one of vBulletin's sever errors.
I'll rewrite it shortly though - I'm going for a cigarerre right now.
Thanks to everybody for their immediate support though - you don't get this in other places.
I'll rewrite it shortly though - I'm going for a cigarerre right now.
Thanks to everybody for their immediate support though - you don't get this in other places.
Alright, three post attempts later and I'm spent. (I keep geting vBulletin errors everytime while forgetting to copy the posts). I'll post shortly after I have a cigarette (it's been 20 MINUTES since I tried to pop a quick thankyou post down).
I guess I'm just majorly unhappy. My life's been somewhat complex (hasn't everyone's?), so I'll try and gradually work through it.
I guess I'm just majorly unhappy. My life's been somewhat complex (hasn't everyone's?), so I'll try and gradually work through it.
I would not have gotten sober if I had not been fired from my job, slammed into the back of a 18 wheeler while drinking, pissed away most of my savings, ran up massive debt...the list goes on. I had enough. I had problems that were not alcohol related, but as long as I was drinking I had one huge problem that made my life worse by degrees. Alcohol never gave me anything, only took away from me.
I would not have gotten sober if I had not been fiired from my job, slammed into the back of a 18 wheeler while drinking, pissed iaway most of my savings, ran up massive debt...the list goes on. I had enough. I had problems that were not alcohol related, but as long as I was drinking I had one huge problem that made my life worse by degrees. Alcohol never gave me anything, only took away from me.
I think this is one of those problems which might get slightly worse while dealing it before it gets better.
And the reason why AA didn't work was because the people who supported me and the people who gave me strength were actually drinking behind the backs of people who attended the meetings religiously. I kind of lost faith in those people after that (though the way I was out drinking that night pretty much contradicted the fact I sought help).
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
And the reason why AA didn't work was because the people who supported me and the people who gave me strength were actually drinking behind the backs of people who attended the meetings religiously. I kind of lost faith in those people after that (though the way I was out drinking that night pretty much contradicted the fact I sought help).
Welcome Risingstar,
I drank myself right to rock-bottom. Lost my career, my gf, my car, my house, my drivers license....etc. I sobered up last year and I am back on the right track. I am still broke and have none of the material things I used to, but I am happier now than I have been in 15 years. Try life without the booze and things will get better. I promise you.
I drank myself right to rock-bottom. Lost my career, my gf, my car, my house, my drivers license....etc. I sobered up last year and I am back on the right track. I am still broke and have none of the material things I used to, but I am happier now than I have been in 15 years. Try life without the booze and things will get better. I promise you.
I didn't go to AA to have other people control how I got sober...I hung around people that got it right and followed their suggestions...Maybe you should try some different meetings...Or choose who you hang around with better....If you just don't connect with the program...Try something else....All I know about AA is it worked for me...I went in there looking for something to work....And it did.
Kind of don't know where to even start dealing with my problems though.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
You're drinking tonight...I'd guess stopping would be the best place to start...I don't see how you blame anybody for relapsing...Unless they poured it down your throat. Maybe AA is not for you...I'd look into something to assist you in getting sober....It's not a matter of needing to do it...It's pretty important that you want to do it...Look into AVRT...SMART..Something....I assume you being here...Drinking or not means you want to quit.
You're drinking tonight...I'd guess stopping would be the best place to start...I don't see how you blame anybody for relapsing...Unless they poured it down your throat. Maybe AA is not for you...I'd look into something to assist you in getting sober....It's not a matter of needing to do it...It's pretty important that you want to do it...Look into AVRT...SMART..Something....I assume you being here...Drinking or not means you want to quit.
I haven't drank since an hour or so before I made my initial post (and even so, my drinking tonight's been very tame). I've barely drank in the last couple of weeks, but that's only because the financial and practical restraints have been in place. I'm legitimately taking steps to change. I'm just feeling bad that AA, at the stage in life I was at, wasn't something to cure me. Especially when I saw two of the most prominent people in the meetings getting drunks.
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