tzivia

Hi guys. I'm on day 15 right now, and feeling pretty good physically. But I'm worried about wanting alcohol. I still want it, and I keep imagining drinking responsibly in the future, even though I know I won't be able to. Never been responsible about drinking so far. I really want to stay sober forever. I know I'll be happier and more self-confident, and I'll finally be happy with who I am instead of feeling guilty all the time.

I'm not sure what the time frame is for when the alcohol cravings decrease in getting sober. Any one have any ideas? I know everyone's different, but I'd like to have some time frame in sight. Like if I can go 2 months, then I'll have passed most of the cravings and will be able to feel comfortable without alcohol. I don't even know if this makes any sense.

I'm struggling right now I guess. I know I have work to do at staying sober, and I am committed to doing the work. I guess I just wish it wasn't so hard. When will it get easier?

I try to remind myself of my worst drunk moments when I'm craving, and it works sometime. Especially mornings when I wake up to go to work, and I'm still shaky from the night before, bloodshot eyes, breath reeking of alcohol, chugging lots of water to stop the dehydration, and cussing at my alarm clock. By that point I've usually only had 4-5 hours of sleep and I wonder how the hell I'll get through the day. But I go cause I have to, and I spend most of the day avoiding everyone so no one can tell I'm hungover. I never want to experience that again, but I've done it too many times to count.

I'm not drinking right now. But in the past when I've committed to sobriety I've had a craving and shoved all those bad alcohol memories out of my head. I'm worried I might do that again.

I picked up the Big Book, and also the 12 step journey workbook, and I'm going to start working the steps. I can't really go to AA meetings often, because of my work schedule and having my son most of the time. I can only go every other weekend, and don't know if that's enough.

Sorry so long winded. Anyone have any advice? How can I feel confident I won't drink again. I think all I need is a little self-confidence that I'm strong enough to do this. I kinda feel like a wreck right now. Maybe I worry too much lol.

least

I noticed I stopped wanting to drink after I'd started practicing gratitude. It was around 3-5 months sober that I started being thankful and it sure did make a difference in my attitude and it took away my desire to drink.

The big difference now, after over two years, is that the few times I do get cravings the 'voice' is very dim and easy to ignore.

Two weeks is still very early in recovery so don't expect miracles overnight. It takes time and effort on your part to live a sober life but it's really worth it.

tzivia

Thanks least for your response. I know I need to be patient, but I am struggling right now. I look forward to a few months in when the cravings start to get less. I'm good right now as far as cravings go. I'm having them, but not willing to give in. I'm just afraid I might get to the point where I do give in, like I always have done in the past. I don't know how I can be sure that doesn't happen.

I think I might be worrying about this too much. I spend a lot of time on SR, which is good, but I think I'm too obsessed with my sobriety right now. I spend all my time thinking about this, and I think I need to be focused on living too. I get my work done, but I'm spending all of my free time thinking about this. I need a new plan. Maybe come to SR everyday, and post when I need to, when I have cravings, but also spend some time doing other things, like reading, exercise, watching some good movies.

Writing all this really helps. It helps to get it out there. I think I'll pick up journalling too, would probably help me.

Sapling

Just take it one day at a time tzivia...Just worry about not picking up that first drink today. Read the Book...Study it. The first 164 pages. Listen to AA speakers here...Get to meetings when you can....Every day you don't drink it gets better...Trust in God and keep moving forward.

XA-Speakers - The lights are on!

tzivia

Thanks Sapling. I will definitely check out the XA Speakers, and hit meetings when I can. I will work on taking this one day at a time. I can't worry so much about tomorrow, can't do anything about tomorrow til I get there. I'm feeling better about this now. Looking forward to going to bed and waking up sober.

CraigA

Yes we live only one day at a time. In the beginning of my sobriety I had to say the serenity prayer alot one time over 50 times in a row sounds funny but it got me through, another thing that helped at least for me and it was vital but praying and asking for strength in the morning to stay away from that first drink and drug and at night thanking Him for that day at night and repeating even till today-yrs later! Also keeping gratitude at just for sobriety because without it nothing matters I will lose everthing. Meetings were extremely important sometimes would work 10-11 hours and would not want to go but I knnow how much action i put into my drinking and drug habit, I had to use that energy towards sobriety! Next time you go to a meeting get some phone numbers and use them, don't worry about bothering them or feeling funny that is what this program is about! Hopefully you have a sponsor and other sober people you can talk to but if not you can start, and definetly keep posting and reading here at SR people really carre and will generally try to help you. God bless and try to stay in today and I will pray for you!

Sapling

You get up tomorrow...Do the same thing...Just don't drink today. Read pages 86 and 87 of the Big Book. You can read them now.....But read it every morning when you wake up...You can do what it says. That's how we live our day.

Sapling

That serenity prayer kept me sober a lot of days Craig....That was a life saver for me.

tzivia

Thanks CraigA. I do think I need to live one day at a time. All this worry about tomorrow isn't helping me.

Don't have a sponsor but will try to find someone after I've been going to AA for awhile. I know it will take some time to find someone I feel comfortable with. I will also get some phone numbers so I will have someone to call when I need to. The meetings I've been to so far haven't been really helpful and personable, but they were huge. I'm going to look for a smaller meeting. Posting on SR has been helping too, so I will stick with that also.

artsoul

I think it's OK to be "obsessed" with sobriety when you're 15 days into it..... It really is a life and death thing for us after all..... I was scared about relapsing too, but coming here every day kept me on track.

It definitely took a while before I felt completely free (6 months +), but it got easier and easier. Hang in there - things really will get better!:ghug3

Sapling

That's good....Don't overthink it tzivia....What you are saying here makes good sense.

reggiewayne

From what I have learned we alcoholics have a two headed monster we fight. The first is the physical craving. Ever blacked out? Ever planned on having a few beers and ended up out till 3am? Ever forgot how much you drank? Ever ordered a drink while you still had a full one at the table just in case the waitress might forget about you?

Yeah... me too...

That separates us from "normies". When we drink, out body actually cries for more. The more we drink, the more we crave. Sucks, but it's true.

The second side of this is the metal obsession. The constant worrying about when we're gonna drink, or when we're not gonna drink, or how we'll never drink again, or how much we can't wait for tomorrow because we can drink. It's the complete pre-occupation with alcohol. That part is the hardest to beat.

Most people I have asked said the mental obsession left them somewhere between 6 and 18 months. Quite a long time if you ask me but that's the deal.

The fact is we don't get 18 months without first getting 18 days. It's just a day by day deal man..

Hang in there!

tzivia

Thanks for all the responses everyone. I'm really feeling a lot better about all of this today. I will start going one day at a time.

Reggiewayne, I can relate to all the things you've mentioned. Guess I'm not a normie huh? I will look forward to the time my cravings start going away, but for now one day at a time.

I'm really looking forward to getting involved in AA. I'd love to make some sober friends, and can't wait to start helping others too instead of relying on everyone else to help me. May start going into the SR chatroom too when I have time. It's nice to be able to talk to others in real time. Someone posted about the chatroom recently. I didn't even know we had one!

Sapling

You're going to do great tzivia....Keep an open mind and be willing to take suggestions from people...They'll only be for your own good. This is a good site to take a look at. It explains meetings...How they work...And also has some good info on sponsors....There is a 12 step forum here if you have questions...Or you can ask them here...It's a wonderful journey.....And it's life changing.

Your First AA Meeting<